New World Disorder (1999)

Wow! Such a good movie.

So much average

The movie is wonderful and true, an act of love in all its contradictions and complexity

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

With budgets spiralling and realism dwindling, it's a wonder Rutger Hauer stays in the film business. I mean has he actually made a good movie in the last ten years? Not that I can remember at any rate. NEW WORLD DISORDER is a predictable, cliché-ridden, aggravating thriller with silly, over the top and unrealistic action scenes (most of them consist of guys just shooting wildly with machine guns) and cheesy dialogue. Without Hauer it would be a real stinker.I guess it goes without saying that you have to be a fan of the actor to get a kick out of this movie. Recent years have seen Hauer's waistline expand to an alarming degree yet you may find it odd to note that he has EXACTLY the same hairstyle in every single one of his movies. I have a feeling he refuses to cut it. Hauer may not be an A-list star (in fact now he's probably down to a D-list) but he always gives fun performances in his films and this is no different. Mainly he does comic relief as he pretends not to know what computers are (one "hilarious" scene has him trying to plug a mouse in) and he even gets to dance. Check out his bizarre fashions with a different bow-tie every day.With Hauer acting like a buffoon it needs a respected actor to bring back some credibility to the film. Enter Tara Fitzgerald. Tara, what the heck are you doing here? This isn't your kind of thing and you stick out like a sore thumb. Your American accent keeps slipping when you raise your voice and you really are embarrassing yourself. Go back to what you're good at (i.e. hard-edged period dramas or whatever). It's a shame to see this undeniably beautiful actress making a fool of herself to this proportion but that's what money will do.The bad guy is played by Andrew McCarthy. Not to be rude but he's a rubbish villain and totally nonthreatening. The cyber-element of this film quickly becomes tiring too. Once again we are presented with Hollywood's unrealistic view of computers (websites loading at a touch of a button in the 1990s) and lots of pseudo-scientific dialogue which doesn't make much sense. It's all just an excuse for action and shooting anyway so it strikes me as kind of pointless. Maybe it's impossible to make a good action film on this low a budget. I don't know. In the end I was struck by the preposterousness of watching two foreign actors both pretending to be Americans in a film made in Luxembourg. It makes you wonder what the world is coming to.

I saw this movie while channel surfing the other night and it sounded interesting. Boy, was I wrong. It has a predictable plot and poor acting. The bad guys lose and the good guys win. Don't waste your time with this one.

My goodness, what's happened to Rutger? I thought you had to stay in pretty trim shape to cope with the rigours of film work but how wrong, how, how...TERRIBLY wrong. "I've seen take-a-ways you wouldn't believe. Burger Kings on the hard shoulder's of Luxenbourg. I watched French fries shimmer in the pans of open-till-lates. All those pounds will be lost in time...." Yes, but how, Rutger? You look way wrong for any kind of vigourous movement, let alone taking on international terrorists. So wide in girth is he that they've had to hire a very slim actress just to be able to fit in the frame with him and even then she seems to be precariously hugging the walls. Who is this pipe cleaner of a girl? No, it can't be, but it IS! It's Tara Fitzgerald, one time doyen of glossies and the British great white hope to rival Julia Roberts (or something.) At what tremulous point does the tide turn for top talent and they slide down the greasy pole to appear in this asinine tosh? Who'd be an actor in today's climate? Poor Tara has enough make up plastered on her boat race to look like Marcel Marceau, I suppose to compete with American bright young things. Rutger wears a bow-tie and various other eccentric outfits, one of which is a dead ringer for Quentin Crisp during his ex-pat in New York period. Towards the end of the film, our Rutger huffs and puffs and sweats (he's actually standing still in Tara's office) and she asks him for a date. Oh, the indignity. The man needs to sit down not get involved in any more vigourous activity.But pity the other actors. The tv guide lists the following, 'starring Rutger Hauer, Tara Fitzgerald, John Bondi, Hari Dhillon'. Yes, yes, but what about Andrew McCarthy, doesn't he warrant a mention? I mean, he once appeared in a film with Sharon Stone. Not a very good one, granted, but he was billed. Oh, it's too cruel, and he's miscast as well. Still, they all seem to be enjoying themselves immensely. But they can't say it beats working in an office because that's where they always seem to be working, although Tara is nearly forced out of windows every time Rutger barges in. When not in offices, Rutger is seen risibly driving up the same stretch of road with the same glass building in the background. The denoument always seems to take place in an abandoned warehouse with a balcony lacking adequate safety barriers. How do terrorists get access to these buildings? Do they just knock and when nobody answers, bite off the locks with their teeth? It explains why bad guys have such bad dentistry, scowl constantly and show constant ill will toward their fellow man. Estate agents ring a bell, Gentlemen? Oh, it's supposed to be America. Real Estate, then.I've never heard so many non American nationals speaking in dodgy American accents in an EU country. It's pretty unsavoury working for the Yankie dollar. This 'cyber thriller' has the dubious distinction of being forgettable from scene to scene as opposed to thirty seconds after the end thus making it the world's first virtual movie.

There's no way around it. New World Disorder is just not a good movie. The acting is terrible. The story is yawn inspiring. The action scenes are so badly staged that they make Roger Corman look like the Wachowski Brothers. Don't get me wrong, I like Rutger Hauer, despite the fact that he's a bit long in the tooth for an action movie. I also am a sucker for a good "Computer punks steal a priceless program that everyone will kill for" story, but this one just doesn't live up to the genre. Perhaps there is a dearth of good entertainment elsewhere in the world, but here in the USA, there ain's nothin' splendid about New World Disorder.