Bulletproof (1988)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

Memorable, crazy movie

Admirable film.

A different way of telling a story

Well, the one thing this movie got right was this: if you're going to have annoying characters, you should cast annoying actors. In fact, if casting annoying actors in the roles of annoying characters was a science, this film perfected it. Sure, it's happened in other films, but this one sets the standard to a record breaking low. Gary Busey as an action hero? Seriously? I don't think he'd even be believable as an extra walking down the street in the background. Yet they give him the lead role. And Henry Silva as the mean Colonel helps kicks it down another notch, putting the believability somewhere below a Sid and Marty Krofft "made for TV" variety show.Just watching 60 seconds of Busey trying to act is unbearable. Even worse, Busey trying to actually pull off the role as an indestructible action hero… that plays the saxophone? Then throw in Henry Silva? Were they trying to induce vomiting?As unbelievable as it is, the storyline is even worse than the acting and casting. It's as if somebody was rummaging through the dumpster behind the set of The Six Million Dollar Man and found a script that the producer rejected, wiped his butt with and threw in the trash.

This film may be full of plot holes, and it may be cheesy, but as an 80s action flick, it sure is entertaining.First, you have Gary Busey, fresh from his role as Joshua on Lethal Weapon. A one-man army (Can you say Rambo?), he manages to avoid the fire of numerous machine guns and win with his six shooter. He even faces a Russian General in one of those big bad helicopters that Rambo faced in Rambo II.Also featuring Henry Silva, a man I love to hate in a movie.But, the best of all, Danny Trejo. I would watch him paint a room. Too bad he doesn't last long.Also featured was Lydie Denier, winner of a "Miss Legs International" pageant, but we didn't get to see those legs in her bathtub scene. We had to settle for the top half of Lydie. But, not to worry, she shows them later.Bulletproof (Busey) heads to Mexico to rescue a prototype tank with the help of the last woman that wants to see him - Devon (Darlanne Fluegel). Of course, they make up. They whip the terrorists, the Mexicans, and the Russians. All in a day's work.

Its no surprise that Busey later developed a tumor in his sinus cavity, this film is also a poor decision, but one I enjoyed fully. The first 5 minutes is the most uninspiring 5 minutes in any film; boring, bad dialouge, and then, with a Spiderman stance, Busey yells the best-worst line in any film ever created..."your worst nightmare butthorn!" I coughed up some of my egg nog laughing so hard. That line resonates so well, it even tops Clooney's infamous "hi Freeze, I'm Batman" line. Other classic moments is Busey constantly getting upset for people reminding him that he got his ex-CIA partner killed...which he did by accidentally shooting him in the chest (all made possible by a super slow-motion flashback sequence that makes watching paint dry seem exciting). There's an ashtray to the nads, punches to the face, and a "that wasn't my fault and you know it!" Well, the footage shows him missing the bad guy and hitting his buddy, so... Other scream out-loud moments has to be his ex girl-friend dropping a grenade to the ground to enable his escape--a plan that defies all logic, physics, and absurdity. And lastly, when McBain jumps out of the Thunderblast during intense guerrilla warfare and starts to run and hurdles a small object, I almost wet myself. Some of Busey's best work by far, rent or buy it today "butthorn!" My vote is a perfect 10 (on the poo meter that is).

Oh Lord, did I enjoy myself watching this film! Gary Busey plays a guy who apparently cannot be harmed by bullets, or by much of anything, although he's just some guy with no immortal powers. He falls off haylofts, gets chained to giant wheels and rolls down hills, runs a very comfy looking army tank, and plays the tenor saxophone. Too much goes on to list, but the world's greatest and most enigmatic insult, "butt-horn", is coined, making this easily the most important film of the century. I insist that you purchase it.