Terror on the Beach (1973)

Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Simply Perfect

A waste of 90 minutes of my life

True to its essence, the characters remain on the same line and manage to entertain the viewer, each highlighting their own distinctive qualities or touches.

****SPOILERS*** Unusual film depicting the free and peace loving hippies of the 1960's and early 1970's as a bunch of ruthless criminals who terrorize this family, the Glynns, who are out to have a good time on the beach fishing and getting a sun tan. It's Pop the head of the family Neil Glynn, Dennis Weaver, the peace loving adult who at first tries to make peace with the hippie marauders without much success. The hippies who drive around the beach like a bunch of Hells Angels in dune-buggies who think of Neil as a weakling and unmercifully take advantage of him at every opportunity. Neil's son Steve, Kristoffer Tabori, feels unlike his pop that you have to meet fire with fire to deal with these wild hippies who seemed to be overdosing on both beer and weed making them far worse then they are.It takes a while for Neil to realize that trying to be nice to thee hippies isn't what's going to work or keep them from possibly massacring him and his family. It's then that he reluctantly decides to take the gloves off and meet them man to man or, in the case of the weaker sect members of of the hippie gang, man to woman. This leads to the final showdown on the beach with what looked like a martial arts and boxing expert Neil rubbing the head or top dog hippie Jerry's, Scott Hylands, nose in the dirt and having his fellow hippies, men & women, too scared, in seeing what their up against, to come to Jerry's aid.Obviously influenced by the Charles "Sweet Charlie" Manson and his hippie clan's massacre of some half dozen people five years earlier the movie's depiction of hippies or the hippie movement seemed a bid odd since it come out at Manson's trial that he and his gang warn't hippies at all. They including "Sweet Charlie" Manson were a bunch of ex-cons and burned doubt druggies who's only love was for starting up a race war between blacks, whom they framed in their murder spree, and whites! Hardly something that any peace loving hippie would do.

If you ever get the chance to see TERROR ON THE BEACH don't miss it because it's a great example of how not to write a screenplay . Robert McKee will no doubt read this and violently disagree but I'm giving you free advice here guys and I won't be charging any fees Inciting incident - This is the plot turn that sets up the plot proper . This TVM doesn't actually have one . The villains are bad because they're bad and the victims are victims because they're victims . There should be a reason for this but here there no reason because there is no inciting incident Foreshadowing - Easy mistake to make when the writer knows what's happening therefore so does his characters before anything has happened . Here a family in their camper van see some vehicles speeding behind them and they begin to panic . Why ? Because they know the baddies are driving behind them but because it's the opening scene and they've never met the characters or even have any knowledge of them they still show fear . Either there's too much foreshadowing or this family in the camper van can tell the future Oh and try not to write characters as being totally black and white . I found the script here very reactionary . These crazy hippy/biker kids represent youth while the Glynn family represent middle class American values . No doubt the youths dodged the draft and dodge paying taxes with equal fervour . They even have a mannequin in their truck . Why ? It's never revealed but you can read between the lines and conclude that it's some kind of sex toy , drill some holes in certain parts , fill the holes with raw offal and put a strap on at the front of it and you have an object that can be used and abused for sexual gratification of draft dodging tax evading delinquent scum . Nothing is too depraved for these wild kids . If they pick on honest hard working middle class tax payers for no reason then gang rape of a plastic mannequin is very low grade depravity for these moral degenerates One thing that perhaps hasn't anything to do with screen writing is casting . I wouldn't say Dennis Weaver is wooden but if he stood next to a rack of pool cues they'd be the Royal Shakespeare Company in comparison . When the bad boy leaders of the gang say they're going to teach the Glynns a lesson it might be ones in acting Anyway if you get the chance watch this TVM if there's nothing else on , it's watchable though you'll be confused as to why you're enjoying it

I remember this one from when it played on TV when I was about five, but I saw it again recently on the Fox Channel. Dennis Weaver is the main star playing basically the same role he played in "Duel"--a mild-mannered, middle-aged guy whose manhood is tested when he suddenly finds himself in an escalating, completely irrational conflict--except that instead of facing a psychotic truckdriver, Weaver this time is menaced by a bunch of annoying hippies. He also has his whole family with him, so the movie is also similar to both the earlier "Hot Rod to Hell" and the later "The Hills Have Eyes", except that instead of JD hotrodders or crazed cannibals the villains are, uh, a bunch of annoying hippies. And that's the problem. These guys are not exactly the Manson family--all they do is eat the family's food, shake their camper, make strange sound effects with stereo equipment, and do weird things with mannequins. Basically, they "freak the squares." But since the movie is told entirely from the point of view of the "squares" who are being "freaked", it's all ridiculously melodramatic and reactionary. There is no real violence and no sex (although it does feature a young Susan Dey in a bikini). Oh well, what do you expect from a crappy 70's TV movie?

Another reactionary film that warns America: there's a Manson family in your neighbourhood! And they want to terrify you with their dune buggies and long hair! This Manson family, however, doesn't seem to do much other than drive around being mean to people. No sex, no drugs, and not much rock n roll are in evidence. They also shave. In other words, typical movie of the week stuff with a ridiculous ending.