Shanghai Surprise (1986)

Wonderful Movie

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

Just perfect...

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Shanghai Surprise (1986) * 1/2 (out of 4) I love watching bad movies from all periods of history and this 1986 turkey has one of the worst reputations out there. While this is certainly a bad movie it's still far from one of the worst ever made. The film's simple story involves a missionary worker (Madonna) who hires an American (Sean Penn) stranded in China to locate some missing opium that needs to be used for medical reasons. The two end up in one shady place after another and running into corrupt cops, gangsters and countless double-crossers. SHANGHAI SURPRISE certainly is a surprise because it features Sean Penn, one of the greatest actors of the past thirty-years, in such a bad performance that one really needs to consider it one of the worst performances by any great actor in the history of cinema. I really can't think of one good thing to say about the performance other than it's so bad that it gives the film the only reason to be viewed because as a major fan of his I can't help but admit that I was drawn into the movie simply because of how bad it was. This might seem crazy to say but had Penn's performance been somewhat better I think the film would have been even worse and nearly impossible to get through. While Penn's performance is bad, what really kills this movie is the lackluster direction by Jim Goddard who doesn't seem to know what type of movie he wants to make. There's no question that this is a rip-off of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARC but the problem here is that the action doesn't work, the comedy isn't funny and there's simply no adventure or characters to care about. This movie is incredibly lifeless from the first sequence to the very last one and even when we do get an action scene it's so poorly put together that you can't help but yawn. The screenplay has so many plot holes that you can't help but quit trying to figure out anything going on and things only get worse as more and more characters are dragged into the mess. We've already established that Penn's not very good here but the same goes for his then-wife Madonna. I've never been one to overly bash here and while the performance isn't the best, you can't overlook this because she's not an actress. At least she can say that she out-performed the future two-time Oscar-winner. Richard Griffiths has a small supporting role and is one of the few good things. Ex-Beatle George Harrison was the executive producer of this thing and he co-wrote the score and performed the songs. The score isn't too bad but it doesn't fit the film too well and none of the songs are all that memorable.

Tinsel town's (then) favorite bride and groom consummated their marriage with this abysmal comedy adventure, an aborted Indiana Jones rip-off set in (of all places) romantic China during the Japanese occupation. The project was obviously an excuse for a paid honeymoon abroad, but no amount of fun and games could possibly validate such an insult to the intelligence, which would have us accept Sean Penn as a romantic hero and Madonna as the chaste and innocent daughter of a local missionary, a joke of bad casting even her most loyal fans would have trouble defending (she can't play the role, at any rate). Ex-Beatle George Harrison obviously saw the film as an opportunity to peddle some forgettable songs, and using his producer's credit he was able to put his distinctive warble in every other scene. Bottom line: life is too short to waste even 90 minutes of it watching indulgent crap like this.

... "Lets vilify a film out of all proportion just because it's a project of Madonna and her beau"... "Shanghai Surprise" is a better film than "Swept Away", and even (whisper it) 'quite good'...Yes, you read me right...Had it been decided to make it without a married couple, this would've been released to little fanfare and been the quaint favourite of a select few. As it was; in 1986 everyone and their dog seemed desperate to put a spanner in the works of the 'Poison Penns' nuptials, and their intended target was starkly visible... If one is actually intelligent enough to assess it sans 'scandal mag' hysteria, it's an innocuous enough concoction. Interesting sets, a quirky character or two, 'screwball' situations... Sean Penn should've been intelligent enough to pass on what's essentially "Raiders of The Lost Ark"'s more 'insipid' step-child; but hey, he was *in love* at the time, so cut 'im some slack... ! 'Love' - the same sickness that prompted most of Madonna's other career mis-steps, as well; (Unless she fell in love with a crew-member, there's NO excuse for "Who's That Girl"... ) and she's out of her depth, here. Sean knows it too, which is why he looks uncomfortable most of the time, but he's still professional enough to wring one or two chuckles from his unscrupulous character - that's as staple in this genre as an 'ill-timed avalanche', BTW - albeit in a manner that still allows the likes of Michael Douglas to sleep safe in his bed.The awkward pairing we're given though even adds to the fun, although presumably that WASN'T part of the producers' 'grand plan'... Remember how, in 'Temple of Doom', lots of people said the Kate Capshaw character was annoying? Well, so is Madonna here, I guess; it's just this time I don't think it was scripted that way... ! Still, it works effectively enough, as each time Sean gets exasperated with her, so do we the viewers... !Apparently all that's needed to draw the ire of millions is one main star who's better than the material, and one who's worse... Which is which in the case of "Gigli"... ?! I haven't seen that one yet; but if it gets attacked for the same mean-spirited motives as this, then I'm actually quite looking forward to it... ! When movie stars get hitched, it's been proved that all they're doing is doubling the amount of criticism that gets thrown their way.EDIT - It must be said, some two months later, that "Gigli" IS almost as bad as reputed... There's still nothing of the like to be wary of here, though... !

OK. So someone took an A-list actor and his famous singer/ part time kind of-sort of actress wife and decided that the movie would be carried on the weight of the names alone. Substitute "fiancee" for wife and one has Gigli.But it is not- it is Shanghai Surprise, possibly the most ill-conceived movie of the 1980's (and yes, I have seen "Hobgoblins.")This movie has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Ridiculous plot, painfully bad acting (Madonna as a missionary? She didn't buy it either, so she says her lines in a flat tone which just screams "get me out of this costume and get me my check"), cinematography worthy of an old episode of "Fantasy Island," lame ending.If, by some chance, you stumble across a copy of this in an unused corner of your local video rental store, call your local hazardous waste disposal hotline- do not rent it.But do not forget that this horror exists. Some people forgot- and thus "Gigli" was born.