Beach Babes from Beyond (1993)

I'll tell you why so serious

Admirable film.

Unshakable, witty and deeply felt, the film will be paying emotional dividends for a long, long time.

Very good movie overall, highly recommended. Most of the negative reviews don't have any merit and are all pollitically based. Give this movie a chance at least, and it might give you a different perspective.

A trio of alien teenagers – Xena Quark & her two best friends Sola & Luna – take Xena's father's T-Bird space cruiser unaware that it needs an overhaul. Running out of fuel, the ship crashes on the forbidden planet of Beta-45 (what we locals call Earth), landing on a Californian beach. They encounter Dave & Jerry, two young men staying at the home of Uncle Bud Elric, a legendary surfer turned beach bum who lives on the beach. Bud's former flame Sally is trying to force him off the beach & has had his house declared condemned. Bud needs a good deal of money in order to save his home so Xena, who designs clothes in her spare time, decides to help him by entering a bikini design competition staged on the beach.Enjoying massive success with his Full Moon production company, Charles Band decided to create two off-shoots in order to reach a wider audience – Moonbeam, (which specialised in children's entertainment) & Torchlight, which dealt with softcore erotica. Torchlight put out only three films before it went belly up due to a collapsed deal with Paramount. Of the three titles, Beach Babes from Beyond was the first.Beach Babes from Beyond is, when you come down to it, a rather spectacularly flimsy piece of bubblegum science fiction that won't do anything to add to the genre. The film's most notable claim to fame is that it features a lot of stunt casting – everyone from John Travolta's brother Joey (who plays a spaced-out former NASA scientist running a vegetarian food stand on the beach whose skills will come in handy for the heroine's needs); Joe Estevez (brother of Martin Sheen) as the hippie host for the young lovers; Burt Ward (the now middle-aged Robin from that 1960s Batman TV series) as the host of the bikini design competition & in the most eyebrow-raising roles of Xena's parents, Don Swayze & Jacqueline Stallone (mother of Sylvester), where they play with a wanton disregard for seriousness – they even joke about the forty-year gap between their ages. This is so utterly ridiculous that you'll be laughing your head off AT them to the film's detriment.Besides the stunt casting & minimal genre element, the film features a LOT of endless filler shots of beach goers partying on the beach, something that takes a lot of the film's running time & does nothing to move the film. If nothing else, the film delivers on its title promise – alien beach babes.How's the softcore, you ask? Well, the sex scenes depicted here are handled in such a way that you want to kill the editor since the lovemaking is given disjointed shots that rob them of much erotic charge. They also fail to entertain. As a softcore 'comedy' it fails & fares even poorly as science fiction. What a waste.

Do you get it? Like the car. These are the jokes, folks. Softcore Beach Blanket Bingo with aliens answers many of life's important question. What do the relatives of celebrities do for some cash? How does a hot tan alien wash herself? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, maybe not that one. Linnea Quigley, member of the Softcore hall of fame, provides some comic relief. Nikki Fritz, also a member, show her talents. Sarah Bellomo is not as bad as you might expect from a porn star. This is not erotic, except the shower scene, and not funny enough to make up for the rotten plot. The sequel has a couple of pleasant scenes as well with Miss Bellomo.P.S. The title is a good example of alliteration.

This was a great movie! It was a completely enjoyable adolescent fantasy. So what makes a movie great? Technical details? I think that if that were the sole criteria, our culture would be the poorer for it. So this movie is to "The Godfather" as new wave music is to Mozart. The point is, it is one of the best movies of it's type I've seen. The women are all beautiful (as are only seen on California beaches when movies are being made). It has a little of everything, a kind of battlestar gallactica meets baywatch meets the playboy centerfold video meets Wayne's World. There is plenty of charm and a reasonable (albeit predictable) storyline that keeps you interested until the next bit of eye candy graces the screen. Joe Estevez may not have his brothers career, but does a good job of bringing focus to the story as the eternally adolescent Uncle Bud. Contains plenty of expected absurdities such as female rock band playing without the guitars plugged in. (Was that intentional?) If you're attracted to the box, rent the video, you won't regret it. As is promised, it is good non-violent erotic fun!

As Joe Bob Briggs would say, this movie relies a lot on the actresses' talents rather than their talent. This early 1990's show-the-babes-in-bikinis-fest has very little to redeem it, other than showing beautiful women nearly naked. Joe Estevez, Martin Sheen's little brother, proves once again that his movie career will be nowhere near what his brother's career is.Avoid this one unless you like watching beautiful women in skimpy clothing. It's about the only thing that redeems it.