Dark Planet (1997)

You won't be disappointed!

hyped garbage

Good concept, poorly executed.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

Plot: Humans and mutants in the future stop fighting to launch a joint mission to the only Earth-like planet yet discovered. Dark Star is a dreadful film. What little money went on hiring Michael York who gives as creditable performance as is possible under the circumstances. Unfortunately the decision was made to try and do this as budget Star Wars so we get a young heroic protagonist called Ebon Hawk (surely a porn star name?) played by an actor who can't act. At the end of the film he lectures everyone insufferably about the need for peace and the evils of war. It is trite and cringe worthy. The plot is silly, the special effects are a joke and the action poorly directed (pistols beat assault rifles every time). Worst line, "When did they enhance you?" said by the dumb hunk whilst he stared at the breasts of the frigid virgin character (right after telling everyone he thinks of his dead wife every day).

The best bad movie that I know of made since the 1970's. Sci-fi with a quote like "It's a tea party!" has got to be interesting. Sci-fi with a quote like "The cakes are rising." has got more going on than meets the eye. A lot of bad movies have plot twists that seem forced and unnatural. The genuinely surprising plot twists and a surprise ending are entertaining and don't at all feel forced. With quotes like "What are we going to do with her now? I don't know, use her for spare parts?" it's set to be a great cult classic. The only thing that may hold it back from cult popularity is it's lack of energy. Slow, dark, depressing, dark, suspenseful, dark... all it needs is a vampire and it would be the perfect goth movie. It's not your typical action and/or techno-babble packed sci-fi, it could find a welcome home in The Twilight Zone, it's just a darn good story. Space, drugs, sex, psychological torment, politics, and Armageddon, this movie really does have it all.

Where is the crew of the Satellite of Love when you need them!!! Only MST3K could help this out! The ship is dark, the costumes are dark, the lighting is dark, and some of the effects budget must have been used up before they started. Skip it.

The basic plot of "Dark Planet" is that two sides in a brutal war (one side being the Alphas and the other the Rebels) inexplicably set aside their differences and join forces to send a mission to the so-called Dark Planet. This is the first and only habitable world to have been discovered by humanity. The problem is that it is located in orbit around a star that is on the far side of a wormhole, an astronomical feature that is highly dangerous to spacecraft.The six member crew of the starship Scylla is composed of three Alphas led by Commander Winter (York) and three Rebels led by Brendan (Kozak). The ship must survive the dangers of space and of the wormhole as well as treachery among the crew.Oh boy, where do we start? Well, the special effects for one. Though it was apparently made in 1996, "Dark Planet" is plagued with some incredibly low-budget effects that in 1980 (the same year as "Battle Beyond the Stars") would have looked bad. The screenplay is very weak. Weapons in fight scenes aboard the Scylla are obviously twentieth century firearms (such as the AK-47) despite the fact that the film is set in the twenty-seventh century. Logic flaws abound, one of my favorites being the ability for two characters to don bulky spacesuits and exit the starship in less than sixty seconds. On the surface, it seems that the bulk of the obviously limited budget went for the cast, which is surprisingly strong (most notably, Michael York, Harley Jane Kozak, and Jeff Beck). Some of the interior sets are passable, but not extensive."Dark Planet" is a film one could spend a lot of time picking apart, but it frankly isn't worth the time. Nor is it worth the viewer's time. Avoid this one.