WrestleMania II (1986)

Absolutely the worst movie.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Three cities! Television personalities! Fast Food mascots! Football players! Awful matches! Yup, WrestleMania 2 has all of that. For some reason or another, Vince McMahon decided to broadcast this event from three different arenas in three different time zones. I'm not sure where the event would have originated from had he chosen just one venue, probably Nassau if I were to guess. So we start off from the New York segment at the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Uniondale, NY. Vince broadcasts with scratchy voiced actress Susan St. James, who just happens to be married to Vince's buddy Dick Ebersol. I didn't count how many times she said "Uh Oh!" during these 4 matches but it was at least 22. We start off with Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff vs The Magnificent Don Muraco. This ends in a lame double count out, not a strong kick off to what is supposed to be your mecca event, granted it was only the second incarnation of it. Next we get the Intercontinental Title match between Macho Man Randy Savage and George "The Animal" Steele. About what you'd expect from an Animal Steele match, entertaining to a point, but it doesn't give Savage the chance to show off his true in ring talent (that would have to wait til WrestleMania III). Next is an encounter between Jake "The Snake" Roberts and former football player George Wells. Wells is wearing football pants that he either kept from his CFL days or stole from the Houston Oilers. Jake wins the match with a DDT that flips Wells completely over and then smothers and chokes him with Damian the snake. The final match in NY is a boxing match between Roddy Piper and actor Mr. T. This is not a good match by any means, but you DO get to see Burger King's Herb do a dance prior to the bell. Piper loses by DQ for shoving the ref and body slamming Mr. T. The real life dislike for each other was evident by this point, I wonder if a regular wrestling match would have sufficed better. Oh well, at least Cab Calloway was in attendance right?Now we're shipped to Chicago's portion of the event emulating from The Rosemont Horizon, which Gorilla Monsoon calls a beautiful arena, trust me it's not. He's joined on commentary by actress Cathy Lee Crosby and Mean Gene Okerlund and Big Cat Ernie Ladd during the battle royal only. We start with a women's championship match that lasts about a minute when The Fabulous Moolah pinned Velvet McIntyre in about a minute. Then Corporal Kirchner beats Nikolia Volkoff in a flag match in two minutes. Wow, these matches just keep getting longer. Now we get to the 20 man battle royal which has a mixture of WWF wrestlers as well as NFL football players. Mean Gene announces former Wendy's commercial actress Clara Peller and she has to ask "Now?" twice for her cue. Yes lady NOW! She then waves her microphone like a magic wand and says "Where's the Beef" but no one hears her. The Horizon comes unglued for hometown player (and recent champion) William "Refrigerator" Perry. The match also featured a trio of former world champions in Bruno Sammartino, The Iron Shiek, and Pedro Morales. Andre the Giant and "Golden Boy" Danny Spivey dress the same here, as they both don yellow Hulk Hogan tights and boots. Andre gets the win after last eliminating The Hart Foundation. The final match is for the WWF tag team titles in which The British Bulldogs win the gold from Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake. With Ozzy Osbourne and Captain Lou in your corner how could you lose? So far I'd say the battle royal and tag title match are the best of the night giving the edge to Chicago over New York. Let's go to L.A.In L.A., Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Elvira are your broadcast team. Elvira wasn't the quickest thinker when asked questions but she's Elvira and she's sexy so it's ok. Sometimes the audio volume level goes up and down here, 1986 technology was only so good when you're running one show from three cities. First bout here Ricky Steamboat pins Hercules in a decent match, a clash of styles bogs it down a bit. Like Randy Savage, Steambout would have to wait a year to truly show off his talents. Next, Adorable Adrian Adonis defeats Uncle Elmer in an awful match with just a few bumps and flips by Adonis saving it from being completely bottom of the barrel. In a tag match, the Funk Brothers beat Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana in a decent match saved by some bumps by Terry Funk. Now the main event. Wait, no WrestleMania main event is complete without celebrities. Bring out Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda, who spits (literally) as he's announcing Ricky Schroeder and Robert Conrad. WWF title on the line in a steel cage, Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy. This is a better main event than the first WrestleMania. Some fans rated this match as mediocre but I found it to be pretty good. Despite some audio trouble, I'd give the edge to L.A. as the best segment of this lackluster event. In conclusion, between celebrity broadcasting, city hopping, bad matches, and low production values turn this one into a bottom 5 WrestleMania.

After the success of the original event, "Wrestlemania 2" ups the ante a bit with better production values and a larger sense of this being a truly not-to-be-missed event. Yet, it still relies far too much on the "gimmick" of celebrities and doesn't just let the plot lines play out.The highlights of this event include:-Ray Charles kicking off the proceedings with a stirring melody of patriotic standards. Really gives the show a sense of gravitas right off the bat.-Randy "Macho Man" Savage vs. George "The Animal" Steele. Two great wrestling personalities playing off of each other.-A Battle Royale featuring NFL players and (spoiler) won by the always entertaining Andre The Giant.-The boxing match between Mr. T. and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper works well with the hype...but then kind of fizzles in the actual match.-Same thing for the Hogan vs. Bundy finale...pretty good build-up but the match itself was nothing to write home about.-The fact that a guy named "Uncle Elmer" could be on this card (!).All in all, I give "Wrestlemania 2" a 2.5 ranking. The show looks better than the first, and (though not great by any means) many of the matches are an improvement as well. However, it is very clear that the correct formula for holding a big pro wrestling event is still being worked out. Instead of just letting the story lines play out and the personalities shine, the card instead still relies too much on celebrity involvement and gimmicks.As my title indicates, this is an event that is taking the first baby steps towards greatness in this production.

(04.07.86)Wrestlemania 2 was held in three places! We start off in Uniondale, NYYour hosts are Vince McMahon & Susan Saint James"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff Vs The "Magnificent" Muraco (W/Mr. Fuji)The match ends in a double count-out after both men brawl on the floor. This was a match that was meaningless and directionless. I like both wrestlers as individuals, but it's hard not to be disinterested with how poorly it was thrown together. The crowd chanting "bullshi*****" over the finish says it all.*Intercontinental ChampionshipRandy "Macho Man" Savage (C) (W/Elizabeth) Vs George "The Animal" SteeleSavage retains the title by using the ropes to pin Steele. This was a very poor comedy match. Steele spends most of the match chasing Savage around and I didn't find Steele's OTT antics to be entertaining at all. Steele kicking out of the elbow drop irked me as well. *Jake "The Snake" Roberts Vs George WellsJake wins with a DDT. This is a glorified squash match. Wells got in some convincing offense, but the result is never in doubt. The most memorable thing about this match is Wells drooling from the snake being draped over him. *1/4Boxing Match"Rowdy" Roddy Piper Vs Mr. TT wins by DQ in the fourth round after Piper bodyslams T. This was an OK spectacle. It's pretty boring for today's standards, but back then it was pretty huge. Part 2 emanates from Chicago, IL at the Rosemont Horizon.Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund & Cathy Lee CrosbyWomen's TitleThe Fabulous Moolah (C) Vs Velvet McIntyreMoolah pins McIntyre after McIntyre misses a splash (even though McIntyre's foot was on the ropes...) This was a very quick match and way too short for me to really comment any further on it.DUDFlag MatchNikolai Volkoff (W/Freddie Blassie) Vs Corporal KirchnerThe winner gets to raise the flag. Kirchner wins after using Blassie's cane. At least this match was short! Short and painless is what I like when it comes to stuff like this. 1/4*20 Man Battle RoyalThis one has stars from the NFL as well. The participants are Jimbo Covert, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin, Danny Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes, The Killer Bees, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis, Bruno Sammartino, William "refrigerator" Perry, and Andre The Giant. It comes down to Andre The Giant and The Hart Foundation. Needless to say, Andre dumps them both out to win the battle royal. This was OK for a battle royal. The NFL players didn't embarrass themselves. Perry and Big John Studd going at it was pretty cool and the crowd was electric for it. In one of the rare cases, the big man actually IS the favorite. Andre winning was a good choice, even if the fans desperately wanted William Perry to win it. (I don't rate battle royals)Tag Team ChampionshipThe Dream Team (C) (Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake) (W/Johnny Valiant) Vs The British Bulldogs (W/Capt. Lou Albano & Ozzy Osbourne)The Bulldogs win the title after Valentine collides with The Dynamite Kid head first. This is a textbook example of what tag team wrestling should be all about. Rarely will you ever see a tag team match go this smoothly. I can honestly say this match is awesome and completely stole the show.**** (out of 5 stars)We go to the Los Angeles, CA portion of the show!Your hosts are Jessie "The Body" Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and ElviraRicky "The Dragon" Steamboat Vs Hercules Hernandez (W/Freddie Blassie)Steamboat wins with flying cross-body from the top. This match was alright, I suppose. It didn't have enough excitement to really get it over the hump, though. As amazing as Steamboat is in the ring, he can't work miracles. *3/4"The Adorable" Adrian Adonis (W/Jimmy Hart) Vs Uncle ElmerAdonis wins with a fistdrop of sorts from the top. The match was pure crap, of course. But watching Adonis bump around like crazy to try to get the match over is kinda fun.½*Terry Funk & Dory Funk Jr. (W/Jimmy Hart) Vs The Junkyard Dog & Tito SantanaThe Funks win when Terry Funk drills JYD with the Megaphone. This match was all sorts of fun! The match was rather wild and chaotic throughout with Terry Funk shining the most out of anyone in this match. Good stuff overall!***1/4WWF Championship (Steel Cage Match)Hulk Hogan (C) Vs King Kong Bundy (W/Bobby Heenan)Hogan retains the title by escaping the cage. This match gets by on solid drama and storytelling. Praise aside, this is still one of the weakest main events in Wrestlemania history. There is nothing outstanding about it or anything that should warrant a place on any "Best of" Steel Cage match DVD's. **It's not the greatest by any means, but after repeated viewings, it's not as bad as I originally thought. Having Wrestlemania in three different cities was an audacious idea that didn't quite pan out for Vince. I actually thought it hindered the show a bit. With all the hype Hogan Vs Bundy got, The Dream Team Vs The British Bulldogs stole a bit of their thunder and easily stole the show. Overall, this is one of the worst Wrestlemania's, but there are worse Wrestlemania's, such as Wrestlemania 9 and 11.

A very lackluster show. I remember being like "What a show!" Back when I first saw it. Well 17 years later and I really dont like any of the card at all. Well thats what happens when you turn from Mark to Smark.The Funks vs. JYD and Tito match was suprinsgly good, while Match of the night honours go to Bulldogs vs. Valentine/Beefcake.Not recommended.BTW, if you want to chat about the good old days of wrestling just drop me an e-mail!