The Toy Box (1971)

Admirable film.

Absolutely the worst movie.

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

This movie feels like it was made purely to piss off people who want good shows

Swingers Ralph (the smoothly sleazy Sean Kenney) and Donna (buxom and fetching blonde Ann Perry) are invited to a wild midnight party held at a remote castle by Uncle (tubby creep Jack King), a portly pervert who pays depraved folks to fornicate in front of him. Despite the fact that Uncle has apparently died, an uninhibited anything-goes orgy transpires anyway as the distinction between reality and illusion blurs into a surreal and nightmarish affair. Writer/director Ron Garcia really goes full-throttle with the mondo nutso far-out carnal kinkiness: We've got voyeurism, masturbation with a vibrator, bondage & submission, necrophilia, raunchy simulated, yet still quasi-pornographic sex, a gal getting murdered while performing fellatio on a man, a dude being run through with a pitchfork after he's finished doing just what you think with a attractive slender blonde, and, in the intensely erotic oddball highlight, the always amazing Uschi Digart finds herself getting fondled by lascivious sentient bed sheets (!). Moreover, Garcia's heady blend of Gothic horror and trippy science fiction along with the deliberate pacing and the jaw-dropping surprise bummer ending provides one hell of a super loopy punch. Among the revelers are such familiar sexploitation staples as Maria Arnold, Kathy Hilton, Marsha Jordan, and adorable redhead pixie Debbie Osborne (the latter as a zonked-out giantess!). Paul Hunt's stylish cinematography adds immensely to the overall outré and intoxicating dreamy atmosphere. A wonderfully wacky marvel.

It's the presence of Uschi Digard and Malta that make this film seeing at all. I wonder if this was the first erotic simulated sex combination horror scifi film. One thing is for sure, it's one of the weirdest wildest erotic films ever made. It plays like an x-rated twilight zone or outer limits episode. The actresses have great bodies especially Uschi and Malta. Marsha Jordan also makes a brief appearance in the orgy scene but don't blink or you'll miss her. It even borrows part of its film score from (are you ready for this) the original INVADERS FROM MARS (the classic scifi movie of the 50's!) The orgy scene is done pretty well. I'm not really giving anything away here because in every erotic film of this period there were orgy scenes and in some movies there were even two or three such scenes. Uschi has a great body and her two scenes are very erotic. The first one she basically is masturbating on top of a bed with (we assume) a guy under the sheets to make us believe the bed she is on is possessed. The second scene she is in is the orgy scene where she is having simulated sex, riding on top of a guy.

You might want to check into getting professional help. I have seen a lot of movies in my 30 something years and this was without a doubt the single worst film of them all. Absolute trash. Really the most retarded movie of all time. This movie makes other bad movies look like citizen kane. Horribly dubbed to the point of being pathetic. Honestly the XXX movies of the seventies have better stories, plots, acting, and dubbing. It is chock full of nudity which is fine by me but still cant make this garbage worth watching. After 30 minutes I had to skip to the end because it was sooooo , well stupid. I had seen other comments talking about the twist ending. It was just as incoherent as the rest of the movie. Honestly people this movie is that bad. I like cheesy horror movies but this movie is too stupid for words. A new word needs to be created to describe just how bad this movie is. I could take a cheap camcorder and make a better movie. I don't even think this movie would be interesting under the influence of LSD and thats bad. lol... Avoid this movie like the plague. Sorry to rant and rave but it really sucked that bad.

Ralph and Donna go to "Uncle's" house where they meet many other like-wise pervs hoping to please "Uncle" enough to get something from his toy box.Pretty much a flimsy excuse to show softcore hippie porn. Pretty boring to sit through, save for one scene with Russ Meyer's Uschi Digard as a buxom hippie who gets it on with a possesed bed. (yes it's as insane as it sounds) This movie is coupled with "Toys are Not for Children" on the Something Weird DVD.My Grade: C-DVD Extras: Art Gallery;2 short subjects ( the Toy Telephone Truck, & the Christmas Eves); Trailers for Toys are not for Children, the Toybox, The Exquisite Cadaver, Tales of the Bizzare, The Single Girls, Ann and Eve, The Depraved, Sextet, The Naked Countess, and Labrinth of Sex