The Beast That Killed Women (1965)

Powerful

Absolutely the worst movie.

A Major Disappointment

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

The fine folks at Something Weird Video bring us this piece of tedious hokum, shot at a Miami Beach nudist colony, strictly of the "point and shoot" variety, with director Barry Mahon implementing a documentary approach that basically follows the reactions and conversations of customers camping responding to a "monster on the loose" (essentially a dude in a monkey costume), attacking folks. Look, the cast of this "picture" (and I use the term "picture" loosely since I think these non-actors would prefer just to get naked than be bothered with reciting lines fed to them by director Mahon and writer Clelle Mahon) aren't trained actors, and it shows painfully. Often, "The Beast That Killed Women" (a gross misuse of a title if there ever was one) consists of women chattering (the audio is pitiful) about the obvious (do we really need endless scenes where naked women, crotches covered, tits exposed, discuss what we have already seen?), with only three true scenes showing the monster of the title and those aren't worth waiting for. The best scenes feature the "star" of this waste of time, Byron Mabe, a patient in a hospital bed, having "suffered shock" after being tossed into a lake by the monkey-costumed Mahon (the director was also the beast!), lamenting the prospects of swallowing jello and crackers as his meal. Coca Cola gets plenty of product placement as a machine shows up consistently during police interrogation scenes. While I had a hard time staying awake during this, I am glad such things exist if just as examples of an era long gone. I was amused at the nudist camp owner's smiling face as he greets with delight returning customers after the beast meets his fate; life returns to normal and the naked are free to bask in the sun without the worry of judgmental eyes bothering them.

Director Barry Mahon, thank you. Exploitive T & A from the mid sixties. A pretty scary time for guests at a Miami Beach nudist colony, as a gorilla runs amok killing anyone in its reach...clothed or butt naked. Bouncy, bouncy. Bouncing boobs and bouncing buns of all shapes and sizes. One complaint is that some of the better looking babes in clothes never take them off. And who really cares that some guy in a gorilla suit is chasing naked chicks around. Typical American Drive-In Theater fare that helps rev up the libido between the popcorn and big orange drink. The director himself is listed among the cast members featuring: Julie Anderson, Sandra Sinclair, Darlene Bennett, Bryon Mabe and Gigi Darlene.

The "nudie-cutie" is without a doubt one of the campiest genres in the history of American cinema. Prevented by the censors from doing anything stronger, 60's exploitation filmmakers like David Freiedman, Herschel Gordon Lewis, and Barry Mahon resorted to making "nature documentaries"--basically home movies shot at nudist camps (although the actual nudists were usually told to take a hike and attractive and voluptuous nude models were put in their place). Naturally, the acting and production values were atrocious and the films were much more silly than erotic. It is always refreshing to see naked women before the modern era of institutionalized anorexia and silicone implants, but you'd do better with the later 70's sexploitation films like the "roughies" or the "ghoulies" which often featured the same kinds of women but were far sleazier and had actual (and often mind-warping) plots. You see one nudie-cutie film on the other hand you've seen them all.If you MUST see one though of these movies though, this is a good choice. It ranks somewhere between "The House on Bare Mountain" and similar "The Monster at Camp Sunshine", but unlike both those earlier films it is in color. It really should be called "The Beast that Killed Woman" as only one woman is killed (and probably owing to censorship, she is fully clothed at the time). The beast also throws a guy in a lake and most of the movie is taken up with the police interviewing this second "victim" in his hospital bed or with various nude or semi-nude women discussing how scared they are and whether they should leave the resort. My favorite scene is where a woman is screaming for help and one of these bimbos responds by jumping out of her top bunk and hopping into the lower bunk with her friend (yeah, that makes a lot more sense than calling the police). The "beast" by the way turns out to be an escaped gorilla (or rather a man in a very unconvincing gorilla suit). What is a murderous escaped gorilla doing in a Florida nudist resort? You know, they never really do say. Oh well.

Shame, shame, shame. This little "horror" film is basically a nudist camp film with the awkward appearance of a guy in an ape suit thrown in as an afterthought. It should not be called the "The Beast That Killed Women," but rather "The Beast That Killed a Woman." Maybe ten minutes of the sixty minute running time(which felt like it was two hours!)is devoted to the ape guy chasing a woman and then finally being dealt with by the police. What do you get for the rest of the film? Bare bottoms and bosoms parading through the woods. Playing volleyball. Swimming. Playing shuffleboard. Talking in bunk beds. Sitting around a campfire. All the while the most appalling music plays. The film has no actors. There are really no characters developed. There is little direction aside from a guy following the movements of nudists in a nudist camp. The film fails miserably as a horror film in any way. It lacks drama. It lacks humour. It is only remotely intriguing from a nostalgic viewpoint(perhaps).