Near Death (2004)

Powerful

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties. It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

To quote the late Roger Ebert from his review of I spit on your Grave. Near death is "a vile bag of garbage, shameful utterly worthless trash, if it isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, that makes it all the more shameful" After the first idiotic bimbo is murdered, in the first five minutes, her cleavage being the only thing worth seeing, the rest of the movie dies with her. even by the standards of straight to the shelf low budget horror flicks this is the bottom of the barrel. Stupid boring and incoherent. I think the idea was that this movie was making fun of itself, but it doesn't come across that way. The camera work is murky, the audio is muddled, the make up and effects have less creativity than your garden variety kindergarten puppet show. Just awful.

Near Death will defiantly put you nearer to your death! This movie... i guess you would call it a movie was more like a horrible high school production between the jelly eating ghouls and the outrageous acting. I thought it would be good considering the movie cover was eye-catching and the description on the cover was alright buy BOY WAS I WRONG... it started as a bad porno and ended with bad graphics and annoying monotone actors/actresses. The directer needs to be sold and eaten by one of these damn ghouls. Billy was the only alright actor in the whole film. I would not recommend this film unless your in for a good laugh and a few inside jokes between friends. If your looking to be scared keep looking. AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COST, IT WASN'T WORTH THE $.99 IT COST TO RENT IT!

I'm very surprised that this film was ACTUALLY released on DVD. When I purchased the DVD of this film, I was thinking.."Wow..I never heard of this movie..it seems interesting, with cannibals and such... and hey, the cover even looks cool!" Boy..was I WRONG. This movie was a horror movie cliché gone terribly wrong...There's something up with this house (saying this without spoilers) and these teenagers decide to investigate for a report, or something. The opening of this movie reminded me of a porno movie..and I mean, come on..was the shower scene REALLY necessary? And the filming angles aren't all that great, may I add. When they show the cannibals eating, it seemed like all they were eating was canned cranberry products. The 'gore' scenes didn't live up to the violence mentioned in the warning on the DVD, may I add. Also, the computer graphics was much too obvious. Frankly, I found this movie more of a comedy than a horror film. The actors were either overacting, or they seemed like they were not trying at all. The only character, I must say, that had somewhat good acting was Billy. The only result of this film after finishing it was inside jokes with my friend, since we were watching it together, laughing our asses off. I would not recommend this movie to anyone, unless you're in for a laugh of how corny this movie is. I will not watch nor buy another Castro movie. Ever.

my friends and i have a tradition of having a "fright night" around Halloween every year, and i have to say, by looking at the cover, i THOUGHT this might be OK. As soon as i popped the movie in, the night ceased to be scary and became a night where people laughed until we cried. with the cheesy as all effects and the HORRID actors, this film ceases to be viewable by a fourth grade video class. whoever directs a film such as this should be beaten with reads and stuck in a formaldehyde jar. Therefore Joe Castro needs to be taught how to direct a film that has more creditability than a college science project. Don't watch this film trust me