Witches of the Caribbean (2005)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

Thanks for the memories!

It's complicated... I really like the directing, acting and writing but, there are issues with the way it's shot that I just can't deny. As much as I love the storytelling and the fantastic performance but, there are also certain scenes that didn't need to exist.

The first must-see film of the year.

Being wiccan myself I somewhat look forward to good witch movies and to say the least this was pure crap. If I'd known this was a weak independent movie with almost no budget I would have passed on it. As seeing as the title caught my attention I decided to give it a try.The acting was horrible and you can almost smell the director attempt to pull off the "hot Gothic witch" vibe from The Craft during the beach walk scene that ended up ( like the last reviewer said) a 5 min music video of them walking across the beach. Not to mention the lead witch was breath-taking UGLY! I have so many bad things to say about this movie, and the ending didn't make a lick of sense. All I have to say, if you are looking for a good horror flick this isn't it. Don't watch it on TV, don't even rent it from netflick ( like I did), its is just really bad.

I normally enjoy a movie in this genre, even if the quality lacks a little (like it usually does). But as B-movies come and go, you need to further down the alphabet to classify this one.The script, choreography, acting look like they've been directed by a teenager, one without a lot of talent. Where to start... silly scene transitions, people walking into the viewer and out of it after they delivered their lines which makes it look like a kindergarten stage play, lame special fx and flashbacks/reminders that are disturbing if you consider the level of intelligence they must have been aimed at. But it's not quite bad enough to be funny either.The term 'spoilers' does not apply for this movie: you should avoid it like the plague.

David DeCoteau has a reputation for making terrible movies, but this takes the cake for pure wretchedness.A teenage girl (who looks about 26) is sent to a tropical island resort for troubled youths following the tragic death of her mother. There she starts having reoccurring dreams about a woman accused of being a witch and sentenced to burn at the stake in the 16th century. Soon after she meets another troubled "teenage" girl who shares the same dream. It was at this point that I lost what little track I had of the plot, and the movie lost what marginal sense it possessed. I think the girl is actually supposed to be the reincarnation of the witch who was burned to death, and the other kids on the island are in some kind of Satanic cult who want to lure her in and sacrifice her for some reason or other. Or something.This movie has all of DeCoteau's trademark elements: homo-eroticism, bad acting, shallow characters, pointless montages, gratuitously repeated scenes from earlier in the movie, nearly nonexistent plot, etc, etc, etc.All the characters were unsympathetic, and is some cases downright obnoxious, cardboard stereotypes: the "jock", the "sensitive guy", the "goth chick", the "country girl", the "hippie girl".This movie has no merit and no redeeming qualities for humanity whatsoever.I feel cheated out of the $3.00 I spent to rent it, and the 90 minutes of my life I wasted in watching it! Avoid at all risks!

The Bad News. The scene at the beginning showing a hunk in boxer briefs climbing out of a swimming pool and wondering around for 10 minutes (investigating sounds etc) is the only 'DeCoteau moment' you ladies, or guys get in this bore-a-thon.The Good News. At least the hunk was at the start! The movie's an absolute chore to sit through. I'll skip the plot, see it regurgitated in all the other posts.Apart from being robbed of any decent 'money' shots (ala Voodoo Academy) DeCoteau makes us sit through several flashbacks to the opening witch hunt scene which are so irritating cut you'll be begging for that epileptic seizure.You want gore? Too bad. A couple of hearts ripped from fully clothed victims is all you get - and I loved the blood being sprayed on the victims faces - just like the kills in 'Talisman'.You want more flashbacks? How about Cheesy pop music accompanied by flashbacks to events earlier on in the film.The only surprise I got from this movie was the role reversal. Usually in DeCoteau's films it's a guy becoming involved in a pact. Here it's a girl.I Give it 0ne outta ten. Max