CrossBones (2005)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

Slow pace in the most part of the movie.

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

It is very unusual for me to really hate a movie. I can usually find some redeeming quality in every film. Even if the plot sucks and the acting is atrocious it is usually high on the entertainment value. This movie has no redeeming qualities and now occupies a tie for the worst movie every made with The Pirate Movie. Aside from trying to take off on the worst idea TV people ever came up with (Reality TV) this movie contains nothing to even hold your interest. Even the scenes of Redblood killing the contestants is not believable. Further, there is no point to his killing because it is never clearly portrayed in the film why he is killing everyone. The contestant interviews are pure filler with no purpose in the film and even the beginning of the film that is supposed to set the stage is boring. Additionally, the brags of the movie having a lot of T&A shots are grossly exaggerated. There is one scene in the beginning of the movie where a woman's breasts are briefly visible. After that all "T&A" shots are of moderately attractive women in bikini's. Do yourself a favor and do not waste your time or money on this film.

Holy Macaronial Crap!!!"BONES OF CRAP"!"CROSSCRAP"!"ARR, ARR, CRAP IN ME PIRATE PANTS"!These all would have been more appropriate titles for the abominable 'movie' that is called CROSSBONES!When looking for 'first time viewings' for the annual Octobre Horror Movie Challenge here on the IMDb horror-board, I had the misfortune of stumbling upon this extremely lame and idiotic crap-fest. And I now officially have my number 1 Worst Horror movie of the New Millennium! And mind you, I never, ever have used the term 'worst horror movie...'. I always carefully used the phrase "One of the worst...".Anyway, after having seen this pirate/horror/reality-TV crap-fest, I immediately added one extra point to the first movie I saw during that month for the Challenge, namely BLOODY PIT OF HORROR (aka IL BOIA SCARLATTO). I don't care if that one's made in the 60's or that it's not comparable in any way with CrapBones. At least I had a lot of fun with BLOODY PIT OF HORROR. Hell, it's even a better movie...In fact, after having seen CrapBones I might as well go back to my reviews and add one extra point to ALL bad & crappy movies I've seen so far. Because none of them was as bad as this one... Well, maybe some... For the ones who know their more recent bad-movie-stuff: SKELETON MAN (that Casper Van Dien crap-fest) is almost Oscar material compared to CRAPBONES. Almost, I said...I will not even dedicate more time to going into full details of this movie (because really, it's not worth it), but here's another 'aka' title:CARIBBEAN CRAP!Hmmm... I wonder if I might have over-used the word "crap" just a little bit in this comment...?**UPDATE** Please forget that "worst horror movie"-statement I made about CROSSBONES. I recently saw DEMON SUMMER and DA HIP HOP WITCH. And, yes, they're even worse. That just shows you can't be sure of anything anymore these days...

I can usually find something good in most low budget horror movies. This is one that I can't. It is so bad on so many levels. This is about a bunch of young folks who go to an island to do a reality survivor type show and are menaced by some resurrected pirate. It starts off with what is supposed to be the origin of the pirate, which looked like it was filmed at historical museum sites (you know, everything is clean and filmed at weird angles so you don't see the tourist signs) with really bad costuming. Note to producers, if you don't have the money to build set, don't do stuff like this, it looks really cheesy. All of the very few characters are completely unlikeable 2-dimensional stereotypes. After seeing Curse of El Charro recently and this flick I've noticed a new stereotype appearing, that is the really obnoxious home girl black chick. The acting is uniformly weak. And did I mention I hated hip-hop/rap soundtracks? It especially doesn't work for a evil pirate movie that takes place on a tropical island. So do we at least get some gore? No way, some blood, but no gore. Do we at least get some boobs? Nope, no luck, not even some nudity to save this.I have to say, this is one of the worst low-budget horror flicks I've seen in a while. If you want to see a half way decent evil pirate low budget horror flick then check out Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove (2005) which came out a few months ago, but I suggest you pass on this one.

Seriously... Worst Movie Ever Made in the History of movies.Ever been to film class? Ever had a guy make a crappy movie and it just sucked. This is worse! and it has a budget! and it was distributed by Lions Gate Films!sorry, whats wrong with me... i mean, whats not to like?zombies that last for 5 seconds - awesome breakthrough roles for African American Characters - great acting - great premise! A pirate who for no apparent reason, comes back to life and kills people on a reality show. - cartwheels! - eye gowdging = instant death! - Great makeup.. ya know what... enough of this...Worst Movie Ever Made!!!-49.3349 out of 10