Room 33 (2009)

The Worst Film Ever

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

The credits roll with an alternative music sound track (REM type music). The movie has that 70's slasher feel to it. A van full of roller derby babes and a few guys are traveling in the Pacific NW when they come across a wreaked car. They pick up the young couple (never old people) and head down the road only to find a gate/fence is crossing the highway. The group jumps the fence only to find the proverbial abandoned mental institution (where bad things used to happen) out in the middle of zero bars on my cell phone country. Sarah "Crash" smashes a window with her aluminum baseball bat because she decides they might as well spend the night there as they can't all sleep in the van which BTW is very low on gas. They quickly discover they are not alone, there is a psycho there named Roxy who tries to kill Crash, then cowers in fright. As the group tries to figure out what is going on, they foolishly separate etc. etc.Some nice legs in shorts roller skate around. Movie drops the f-bomb, has brief simulated oral sex, and no nudity.Not the worse horror movie out there. If you want to do a theme horror movie night of abandoned mental institutions, you might use this one as a warm up.

Room 33 (2009) is Directed by Edward Barbini , who also wrote it with Donnie Dale. Spoiler alert as I will be discussing plot points. First impression, Watchable but unintelligible. The longer it goes on the less sense it makes. The obvious set up, A group of mixed young people stranded overnight at a haunted, long abandoned Asylum. There they are terrorized by a stalking killer, and an abandoned young girl who haunts the vacant building. What makes this a bit different, and gives it it's twist? Unlike most teen victim films, here the girls in the group are tough as nails, roller derby brawlers. They are accompanied by their roadies and tech crew. Allie and Chad, played by Austin Highsmith and Chad Collins, are two unfortunates, stranded in the middle of nowhere, are happy to be picked up by the roller blade team, Sarah the leader of the pack is played by Nina Hausser. A nasty tempered loner. The group is well played and the dynamics are interesting. for a while. Then the plot gets in the way. Here there is not much of a plot , Rather the movie resorts to the standard set of clichés to take us to the inconclusive conclusion. The dark form running before the camera, accompanied by mysterious sound effect, has long since ceased being an effective jump scare. In this movie "I'll find them" is an overused phrase. Anytime there are group separations, and there are many, "You stay here, I'll find them" is put into play. Then there is the mysterious figure that disappears before the surveillance cameras. The Creepy girl who talks in voices, "You are all going to die" And so on. Production values are good, effects are minimal, It is the roundabout ending that is problematic. Here it is the writers who fumbled with the hit and miss plot points. In the end it did not really matter, just ride it through like a Roller blade session. Seven out of Ten, "Mindless pleasure" Stars

I'm a big fan of low-budget horror, but this is unwatchable. Every minute of it is stupid and tedious. Made by people who have watched many horror films but never understood the hows and whys of them. Clichés taken out of context... which actually is interesting from a sociolinguistic standpoint. Unfortunately I don't think experimental deconstruction was the intended point of the film."When I was out there looking for Natasha, I saw something." "What did you see?" "I saw a guy in the road." "Well, why didn't you say something earlier?" "I JUST DIDN'T, ALRIGHT?!?"Etc.Etc.

Some Roller Derby girls on their way to a match with their managers come across a broken down car and its occupants Allie (Highsmith) and Chad (Collins). When the van won't start the girls and the rag tag team of people discovers the only thing close by is an abandoned hospital that once was an insane asylum. They search the place and come across what seems to be a remaining patient named Roxy (Olivia Leigh) who seems crazy. When one of the members of the group turns up dead, Sarah (Hauser) thinks it is Roxy, but Allie doesn't and sticks up for her. The group is being stalked by a mysterious man in black with supernatural powers. This one is really all over the place when it didn't really have to be. Obviously low budget, the movie is full of weird characters and silly circumstances. Did they really need to be Roller Derby chicks? And did we really need to see no less than three of them try to escape the asylum on roller skates? This silly stuff is mixed in with a pretty straight forward approach by the film makers to at least try to make it scary. Some of the acting is really quite good but it is unfocused because of the weird wrappings of things like chicks wearing skates talking tough. This one tries hard but can't seem to get out of its own way and bring some real scares.