1313: Night of the Widow (2012)

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

How sad is this?

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

NIGHT OF THE WIDOW is another interminable '1313' film from David DeCoteau, so expect virtually no plot and lots of padded-in sequences of shirtless young guys wandering around showing off their abs and flexing their muscles. One of the cast is Lou Ferrigno's son, believe it or not. This one actually manages to have a substantial female role (gasp!) and more plotting than the usual erotica that DeCoteau comes out with, so you get actual story development alongside the gamut of bad acting and showering.

There actually is some dialog, mainly for exposition as the characters explain what happened in the past. One young guy in briefs scene that is repeated later in the movie. One shower scene with no nudity. Actually safe for almost anyone who is not offended by shirtless, friendly guys. The same big mansion used in other DeCoteau movies. Nice place with beautiful furnishings.These movies have OK plot lines but they do move very slowly. You might figure out the ending before it gets there. The images are OK but the sound is not good at times. This is the best of David's films that I have seen thus far.

"1313: Night of the Widow" is indeed a horror movie. Well, correction, a horror of a movie. This was really painful to watch.The story is about young millionaire who is dead who has summoned his six friends to his house for an unorthodox reading of his last living will. The will is executed by a mysterious stranger, and somewhere in the house is the departed's widow walking about, a woman that no one is familiar with. The six people are given the millionaire's entire fortune if they can find the key that is hidden somewhere in the house. But there is a secret to be unveiled.The good things about "1313: Night of the Widow" is that it is shot in daylight, so everything is bright and clear, whereas many horror movies tend to be at night, and more than often shrouding everything is shadow so that not much can be seen. Thumbs up for a daylight horror movie. Plus the house itself was just fabulous, super big and the decorations inside was just marvelous. And there was a good enough production value to the movie, it was nicely filmed and the overall impression of the production worked well in favor of the movie.Then the bad things. Well, lets start with the obvious, shall we? The story itself. Oh wow, how utterly boring and uninspiring could it get. There was no motivation or drive behind it, just a dull and mindless experience. And the killer being a woman walking around dressed in a black gown for a funeral with a hat and a widow's veil? Couldn't help but laugh at that, nothing scary about it at all. But the worst thing about the movie was perhaps the scenes where a young man was in the shower scrubbing his torso repeatedly and then we would alternately be shown scenes of the woman in black walking aimlessly around with a knife in her hand, then back to the shower scene, repeat and repeat and repeat. That was just a waste of film and time, not to mention a senseless scene in itself. And throughout the movie, when you see this woman in black, there is a really annoying thumping heart sound accompanying her scenes. It was alright for the first couple of seconds, but it quickly became a distraction and a nuisance. And the ending of the movie was rather predictable and laughable.I personally didn't get the title of the movie "1313: Night of the Widow", as it all took place at day.And what was up with director David DeCoteau's fetish for showing off the naked torso of guys so often in the movie?As for the acting, well the people cast for the roles actually did good enough jobs, though it was nothing memorable. And they were weighed down by the incredibly stupid plot line."1313: Night of the Widow" is one of the most boring and uneventful horror movies that I have had to suffer through. And I used the word horror sarcastically here, because there was nothing scary or even remotely horror-like about it, aside from the storyline and thumping heart sounds.

But it was close. If you're interested in watching a widow in a veil walk around with a knife while a 'suspenseful' heartbeat sound thumps in the background, this movie is for you. That's probably a third of the movie. There's a 4 minute scene (I was so amazed, that I went back and timed it) that alternates between the widow walking around and a guy in the shower repeatedly washing his armpits, which apparently were very dirty. 4 minutes. Nothing else happens the whole time. Just the heartbeat thumping, widow walking, and dirty armpit guy. So yeah, that's what you're in for.