It Waits (2005)

I love this movie so much

How sad is this?

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

I believe I almost saw this film a number of years ago but snubbed it in order to go with a more promising looking movie. So many years later, in search of a good creature feature, I "legally purchased at full price a copy of the DVD and waited to have it mailed" since that's how we all watch movies in 2012 because torrenting is illegal, right? :)The movie starts off remotely promising, a goreless intro with implied off-screen killings (grrrrr....) that explains how the creature is discovered. We are introduced to a lonely isolated character with huge breasts and a sizeable nose as well (i'm just saying if she was going to go through the trauma of making her boobs so huge she might as well have reshaped her clearly too-large-for-TV nose)I started off kind of liking the main character, she's SOMEwhat relateable in that she struggles with guilt and subsequent alcohol abuse. You get the impression that maybe this girl is someone we can tolerate through the entire film; sadly this is not the case.The movie is limited to about 5 other characters. The sappy love story between our heroine and her boyfriend is developed wayyyy too long just in order for it to end in possibly the stupidest set of decisions made in any horror movie.For a gore lover like me the movie touches on being decent in that aspect but there is definitely a sense of modesty as far as the length of the kill scenes and what the director allows us to see. He certainly lets us see a lot of the creature which looks not similar but looks and exacts completely identical to the creeper in 'Jeepers Creepers'. Not an homage, not similar, but a bit-for-bit recreation and ripoff.Normally I wouldn't have a problem with this since J.C. was a great creature movie (probably the best out of the 2k's) but J.C. excelled because Victor Salva incorporated lots of backstory, mystery, and subsequent fear of the creature based on what we did not know about it or what exactly it was. "It Waits" doesn't really explain the creature other than referencing some Indian religious relation (which i'm not sure is factual lore or not and certainly not intriguing enough to look up.)What i couldn't stand the most was the CLEARLY CONTRIVED INSERTED SOUNDTRACK featuring songs that not only don't belong in the horror movie. The music is so corny in fact I felt like slamming my head into the wall. It's almost like a giant farse of a creature movie in order to plug some "up and coming" artist's new album of boring soft-rock-pop singles.There isn't enough gore for a creature feature. And the few would-be gory shots are quick cutaways or take place off camera for the most part (pure laziness on cgi/special effects/directorial team considering the nature of the movie.) The ending of the movie is equally horrible.I am sure this director is (and was) capable of far better in the realm of drama, but based on this screenplay he was probably left with mostly dead-ends. This movie certainly hits a dead-end relatively early and meanders around for the remaining last 30 minutes. If you enjoy watching unintelligent women with extraordinarly large breasts run around aiming her gun with 0 accuracy then this movie MAY be for you. However if that's your kind of movie I would try and track down one of the "Slumber/Sorority House Massacres" instead.

2005's "It Waits" was directed by Steven Monroe and written by Richard Christian Matheson -- the son of famed writer Richard Matheson -- and Thomas E. Szollosi.THE STORY: A forest ranger in the Great Northwest named Danny (Cerina Vincent) assuages her guilt & grief via alcohol while alone on the job. When her boyfriend comes to visit her in the wilderness they become increasingly aware of a creature or demonic entity that is killing off everyone in the local area and playing headgames like a cat plays with a mouse before slaying it.It dawned on me after watching "It Waits" that it combines the plots of two 1979 films -- "Alien" and "Prophecy" (not the '95 film "The Prophecy" with Christopher Walken), both of which were out that summer. The aspects it borrows from "Alien" are obvious (BASIC PLOT SPOILER): A tall, hideous monster kills off a group of people in an isolated setting one by one; the creature's not fully shown until the ending wherein the lone female protagonist has a showdown with it. It resembles "Prophecy" in that there's a creature on the loose in the forest killing off people (both films were shot in British Columbia) and the creature is linked to a Native American legend. (END SPOILER)Even though "It Waits" isn't very original it's not bad for what it is. Besides, it has two or three qualities that set it apart.WHAT WORKS: The film stars Cerina Vincent who's one of the most awe-inspiring women in God's creation. I admit she's the main reason I bought the DVD, the secondary reason being that I enjoy creatures-on-the-loose flicks. The only other film I've seen Cerina in is 2006's "Sasquatch Mountain." Both films are great if you never tire of viewing Cerina in all her curvy, full-maned glory (sorry, no nude scenes or exploitive t&a shots like, say, the dumb "Frankenfish"). Some may question the believability of such a smoking-hot babe as a ranger in the wilderness, but let me tell you a story: Last July I was primitive camping at Great Basin National Park in Nevada, which is about as desolate as you can get in the USA, and one morning I went for a solo hike in the high timber. In the area I was in I didn't see one other person the whole 2 hours except for a ranger at the trailhead checking the hiker sign-in box. This woman was gorgeous from head to toe with incredible eyes and a bright smile; on top of this she was genuinely friendly. A few days later I was visiting Craters of the Moon in Idaho and brushed with another ranger cutie, albeit blond. So, yeah, it's definitely true-to-life.The story maintains a serious tone throughout -- this is no goof-fest like "Lake Placid." The creature, when fully revealed in the third act, is well done and slightly reminiscent of the main gargoyle in 1972's "Gargoyles" and The Creeper in 2001's "Jeepers Creepers" and its sequel. The creature has some interesting qualities (!!SPOILER!!) It's female and, even though it likes to play headgames with its victims, it possesses some nurturing qualities.Native American Eric Schweig has a small part as the Indian sage. Yes, it's a stereotypical, hackneyed part but it's official tradition for this type of flick (see "Prophecy," "Man-Thing," "Clawed," "Orca," "Grizzly," etc.)! Anyway, you might remember Eric from 1992's "Last of the Mohicans" and 2003's "The Missing." He gained quite a bit of weight in the meantime.The British Columbian locations are gorgeous, filmed a mere four miles outside of Vancouver; you'd never know it while viewing, however.Steven R. Monroe is adept at doing these low-budget TV flicks in a classy, professional manner. He also directed 2009's well-done "Wyvern" and "Sasquatch Mountain." If you appreciated those flicks you'll likely enjoy this one.Some complain about the score and songs chosen but I like the music in Monroe's films. He strives for the dramatic and emotionally-stirring rather than clichéd horror, e.g. "Friday the 13th." Monroe knows full-well he's not making "Citizen Kane" and that these are essentially (supposedly) throw-away TV horror flicks but he does his best to make a classy, worthy product. Gotta respect that.WHAT DOESN'T WORK: Aside from the film's aforementioned lack of originality, this is a low-budget TV flick and is therefore not as technically good as "Alien" and "Prophecy," the films from which it heavily borrows, but this isn't overly obvious.Like those films "It Waits" has a very slow build up. I know everyone always raves about "Alien" -- and I'm a fan (although I prefer the sequel "Aliens") -- but it does have a plodding vibe. This approach can be boring unless you're braced for it or in a kicked-back mood.It's commendable that the filmmakers attempt to give us some depth with the subplot of Danny's struggle over a drunken car accident, but it's not nearly as moving as "Sasquatch Mountain," which reaches for depth and largely achieves it (yes, despite the Bigfoot trappings).Aside from the opening cave massacre, ultra-horror fans may be disappointed by the low body count.Some cite the relatively moderate gore but I saw quite a bit. Are beheadings, headless corpses and impalings thru the rear-end mediocre gore? BOTTOM LINE: "It Waits" is a must for Cerina Vincent fans and those who enjoy monster-in-the-woods flicks, or both. It's well-done for what it is, although we've seen (a lot of) it before. Still, this is a classy horror flick with some notable aspects, like the nature of the creature, the protagonist's struggle with guilt and the non-horror soundtrack.GRADE: B

You have to give the writers and producers at least some credit for daring to release a horror movie that is called "It Waits". That's like openly claiming: our movie will be boring and don't pretend we didn't warn you in the title. The good news, however, is that "IT" (which is this time a mythological Indian demon instead of Pennywise the Clown) only waits for a good half hour – until the inevitable dramatic sub plot and dull character drawings are over and done with – before going on its outrageous murderous rampage. I even daresay "It Waits" is a fairly enjoyable creature feature as long as you manage to look past all the dreadful genre clichés and nonsensical plot elements. The central character is a young and hot Canadian ranger stationed in a tower post somewhere in the middle of an extensive forest. Poor Danielle St. Claire drinks a lot of Vodka because she can't deal with being responsible for the death of her best friend in a car accident. This means that for the first half hour, "It Waits" only features dull guilty speeches and a forced dramatic atmosphere. Danielle's traumas all become meaningless when she and her boyfriend Justin face the bloody battle with a demon that accidentally got unleashed from its prison cave and now runs amok in the woods. There's a terribly lame sub plot trying to trick us into believing the mythological creature actually feeds and strengthens on misery and sadness (and thus Danielle herself attracts it), but I strongly advise you to disregard the ludicrous dialogs and fully focus on the special effects and gory massacres. "It Waits" borrows ideas and elements from at least a dozen of other (and more successful) horror movies, but hey, you've surely seen a lot worse already and at least the second half provides plenty of carnage and the creature's design is reasonably horrific. The filming location is stupendous and reminded me of those glorious early 80's slasher movies that also entirely took place in forestry regions, like "Just before Dawn" and "The Final Terror". Cerina Vincent isn't very believable as a park ranger heroine, but she has obvious other qualities like her incredible good look and an impressive rack. Yes, I am aware that's a shallow remark but it had to be said! Besides, her tight ranger outfit as well as the smooth cinematography leave no opportunity untaken to emphasize her yummy boobs, neither.

Better than average low budget horror movie from the Sci-Fi channel.It's a good cat-and-mouse yarn in the vein of Jeepers Creepers, with the creature "feeding on" the terror of its prey before finishing them off. The two principals characters are developed pretty well, giving a clear notion of what the creature's obsession is with its intended victim. That would be a park ranger named Danielle (Cerina Vincent, who carries the film well), stationed at a secluded area of an unnamed national park (based on dialog, it's apparently the Grand Canyon area).Danielle's angst, fear, suffering, and her resolve to turn the tables on her tormentor are all portrayed well, as is her pivotal back story. These tie in very well with what we learn about the monster. Further, the director wisely resists temptation to reveal what the thing looks like until near the end, which makes it all the more terrifying. It could strike at any moment, and often does, only seen in fleeting glances, partially hidden from view.About the only pitfalls are the goofy boss ranger and the obnoxious lost hikers with "Monster meal" tattooed on their foreheads. Also, there's a predictable lingering question mark left open at the end. Not a sensational movie, but worth a watch.