The Cemetery (2013)

Very good movie overall, highly recommended. Most of the negative reviews don't have any merit and are all pollitically based. Give this movie a chance at least, and it might give you a different perspective.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

Actress is magnificent and exudes a hypnotic screen presence in this affecting drama.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

A group of heavy metal dorks venture into the Pennsylvania wilderness to document a haunted cemetery. Or something.Gruesome and bloody at the very start, trite and boring throughout the remainder, The Cemetery is a movie with a clichéd story and predictable ending. Filled with forced dialog and acting so bad it would be more at home in a porno flick. Gratuitous sex and sophomoric attempts at crass humor try to pad out the weak story line with very minimal success.Good only for a laugh, and not a good laugh. You can most likely find it at the bottom of the discount DVD bin at 7 11. And once you've found it, throw it away.

Boobs, check. Gore, check. Thrash soundtrack, whatever. Plot, wow check, we're on a roll! Attractive actors, well each to their own. Snappy script, I've seen worse.Effects, again, I've seen worse.... and yet... I just didn't care about these guys, character development? More like lack-of-character development, these guys aren't even bad enough to hate, they're just a waste of human form.... and the 'evil' voice-over. It sounds like he had a cold.Maybe could have been a short comedy horror but in this format it just did nothing for me. Sorry guys 2/10.

Like Cross Bearer, this film has had a big build up and hard sell as the director lurks on every horror forum board and Facebook page he possibly can, pushing his films as much as possible. He does seem quite a nice guy, and takes criticism well, so I will give him that, also The Cemetery is edited at a decently professional level, and it actually looks quite good on screen, but..... Man, the product as a whole is terrible, truly awful. The acting, dialogue, and story is around the level of a porn film, and throwing in topless shots of tattooed girls, and inane death metal on the soundtrack just makes the whole thing look juvenile. The gore which includes a broken bong to the throat, guts being ripped out, and a bone getting ripped from a leg etc is totally ineffective, why? Because there's no build up, no tension, and no caring whatsoever for the characters. There are also repetitive cut away scenes of gore and narration that become more and more annoying as the film goes on. I really was glad when it was over. I can't imagine what any true horror fan would get out of Alhbrandts movies to be honest, they're tired, clichéd, and pretty sad really. Uwe Boll is Scorcese compared to this guy.

I love indie films. Even if they're not great, they tend to have original ideas, much more so than Hollywood studios. However, this film was...a mess. How it got 7.2 rating is beyond me. I think the film makers must've gotten on here and made a lot of reviews for it, that's the only explanation. I hated all the characters from the beginning to the end. I was hoping they would improve, but death is the only thing that could do that. They were really crass, especially the guys, and in a film that has no stars, the viewers try to connect with at least one character. Not in this film. Low budget is no excuse for poorly and crassly written characters. As for the acting...well, it's as if a group of 30-something year olds - who can't act - got together and decided to spend a weekend making a home movie that they could sell off as a horror story, and not a good one at that. Never have I rooted so hard for characters to be killed off. I didn't care how it happened. If insane squirrels attacked and killed them, I wouldn't have complained about how stupid that was because at least those characters would be dead. Seriously, a mess. I do not recommend to ANYONE under ANY conditions. This movie should've been called Hazardous Waste, because that's what it is. :( To the film makers, I truly hated writing such an awful review. As an indie wannabe film maker, I have written my own script, and I know what's involved and the time it takes. Even though your premise wasn't original, it wasn't bad. However, the execution was just...awful! If you don't have the special effects and/or actors required, wait until you have the finances to provide the project with them. And really, the characters were just...subpar. Not only were they not likable, it was as if teenagers who had just discovered sex had switched bodies with adults. Ugh! Not a likable one among the bunch. For the love of indie films, don't make another one like this! :(