Machete Joe (2010)

Too much of everything

Sorry, this movie sucks

A Masterpiece!

Blistering performances.

***Spoilers Ahead, Maybe?*** The only thing memorable about this movie was the opening murder scene.It was straight up brutal & after watching it, I wondered if I should've just turned it off then & there but as you already figured out, I didn't.The rest of the movie is forgettable.After you watch Machete Joe, you'll probably forget everything you watched in a couple hours.Oh yeah, the only other thing you might remember is the way Scooter was killed & dragged off (Gory & Brutal) Why did they have to kill off Scooter? He was funny & the best thing about the movie.Anywayz...... Was it just me or did everybody's voice seem like they were dubbed in English? Weird.I can't recommend anybody go see this movie unless nothing else good is on & you're BORED out of your mind like I was.Most importantly, ONLY watch Machete Joe if you can see it for free.If you have to pay or are thinking about paying to watch it, give that $$$ to me!!!

Summary is that this movie isn't worth watching. But the really bad thing is that it could have been good if they taken the same care throughout the whole movie. The camera-work was decent and showed that they cared enough to try. Others have said the acting was terrible, but there I disagree. I found the actors believable, it's just that their dialogue (1) didn't tell me anything to get interested in them so that they were all generic characters and (2) the script had the characters doing unbelievable things and didn't flesh out the story of Machete Joe at all. He's just sort of . . . there.If the script had been written so that the characters had something to say and were doing things that were believable it would've been interesting. As it is, it's not worth a rental.

Outside of the novelty of having blacks in predominant roles, this slice'n'dice opus offers nothing really new or surprising. The premise is formula stuff: A group of aspiring filmmakers find out the hard way that a local urban legend that they are making a movie about is real. Director Sasha Krane, working from a talky and generic script by Gordon Greene, not only relates the familiar story at a sluggish pace, but also crucially fails to generate any much needed tension or creepy atmosphere. Worse yet, the annoying characters spend the bulk of the screen time bickering and arguing with each other, thereby ensuring that they are decidedly less than appealing and sympathetic. Paul Campbell as the hideously disfigured titular killer just ain't that scary and the attempts to make him a pitiable tragic figure fall flat. Ernie Hudson as the amiable local sheriff and Art Evans as van driver Sammy are both wasted in minor nothing roles. While it's nice to see "Assault on Precinct 13" star Austin Stoker in a decent sized part, he's alas saddled with playing an obnoxiously pompous and arrogant jerk. The rest of the cast are passable at best. Fortunately, this movie does deliver on the gore, so it's not a total wash-out. That said, both the limp dissatisfying ending and Vincent Gillioz's standard hum'n'shiver score also leave something to be desired. However, the sharp cinematography by Christopher Wailings gives this picture a pleasing crisp look. A pretty blah and forgettable flick.

I haven't written a review for a film in quite a while but after watching this movie I feel compelled to do so!! I have NOTHING good to say about this movie at all!! The big stars of this film are Art Evans and Ernie Hudson but they only appear in this film a TOTAL of about 5 minutes COMBINED. The acting is horrendous, some of the worst I've EVER seen and I've seen MANY bad-acted movies. I would even put the movie "The Room" above this one in terms of better acted bad movies. There are NO redeeming qualities about this movie so I'm going to stop now because I just realized that I'm wasting my time reviewing a film that ALREADY wasted my time!!! Just stay away from Machete Joe!!!!