Splatter Farm (1987)

Wonderful Movie

Simply A Masterpiece

This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

Bickering and obnoxious twin brothers Alan (the terrible Mark Polonia) and Joseph (the equally awful John Polonia) spend the summer at a remote Pennsylvania farm with lonely and shrewish widow Aunt Lacey (the supremely annoying Marion Costly). The brothers run afoul of deranged farm hand Jeremy (deliciously played to the sneering creepy hilt by Todd Smith), who turns out to be a vicious killer who not only eats the corpses of his victims, but also has sex with them as well (gross!). Boy, does this hilariously horrendous amateur home movie horror opus possess all the so-utterly-wrong-that-they're-paradoxically-right schlock picture stuff to qualify as a real four-star stinkeroonie: we've got pathetic acting from a game no-name cast, dreadful dialogue (favorite line: "I hate to spoil lunch, but I got to take a s**t"), a slight meandering plot, an irritating droning synthesizer score, a plodding pace, crass humor, cruddy, ugly and smudgy shot-on-video cinematography, and plenty of cheesy gore (the blood looks like fruit punch -- and probably was exactly that!). Better still, this terrifically twisted treat serves as a veritable catalog of revolting depravity: there's cannibalism, necrophilia, self-mutilation, foul homosexual rape, and, best of all, even incestuous statutory rape (this latter part deserves bonus points because it's an old lady doing just what you think with a much younger man!). The last third of this flick is shockingly sick, strange and flat-out unnerving. A jaw-dropping ghastly marvel.

I just received the twentieth anniversary edition two disc set of Splatter Farm from www.regalstudios.com. Wow! This is one of the most entertaining DVD sets I've ever received and I've purchased a lot of indie films over the years.I won't go into all the details of the set but if your a Splatter Farm fan you have to get this. It's got a new version of the film with a new soundtrack plus a new documentary with the cast and it's even signed by Todd Michael Smith who played Jeremy! Whats more the two disc set is just as insane and fun as the movie itself.Splatter farm now and forever!!

I'll admit - in pretty much every conceivable way, SPLATER FARM pretty much sucks dick. The acting is horrible, the gore is very amateurish, the technical aspects of the film (camera-work, lighting, editing, etc...) are non-existent - but to me, this is one of those films where the whole is MUCH better than the sum of it's parts.The plot revolves around twin brothers (who look like half-retarded Ralph Macchio look-alikes) who are on their way to their aunt's house for vacation. She's an old-bag that has a thing for one of the twins, which is alluded to from the get-go. She has a boy that she keeps around to do the work on the farm, and who also brings people into the barn to hack up and masturbate with their body parts. The twins notice something amiss with the farm-worker (even without seeing him jacking-off with severed arms and whatnot...) and they begin to suspect that something is up...There's so much wrong with SPLATTER FARM that I don't even know where to begin. Where it makes up for it's insane ineptitude, is in the fact that it really is quite funny, and a bit more original and thought-out than what the $7 budget would dictate. The gore scenes, though cheap, are effective for the most part, and there are a few truly decent "gross-out" moments (anal-fisting, anyone?). The storyline even has an effective "twist" in the plot that actually works. The dialog is stupid but often hilarious and I just got caught up in the super-cheap vibe of the film. It actually reminded me a bit of Jorg Buttgereit's NEKROMANTIK (in terms of style, not content) but without any of J.B.'s artistry. A very strange little film - I'd suggest it to those that dig low-budget splatter. Lord knows I've seen worse by more (supposedly) "talented" directors. Just watch SPLATTER FARM and then anything by Andreas Schnaas back-to-back and I think you'll see what I mean...8.5/10

I read the first review, and I agree - total home movie. Decent first amateur effort but GOD what bad acting (and I LOVE bad horror/monster movies). If you go into this movie knowing that it's a home movie, you'll be impressed; but if you go in thinking that it's a "studio" movie (like I did and most people probably do), you'll be disappointed from the very first scene. Amateur special effects, amateur "scary" music, bad lighting, HORRIBLE amateur acting (especially by the old woman)...but it ventures into a ton of "taboo" subjects (incest, gay oral sex, using a severed arm/hand to masturbate and a severed head to perform fellatio, rape, anal fisting and ingesting the results, etc.). The ironic thing is, there's an interesting plot twist revealed at the very end that is pretty mature for a home movie.See if it you can find it free/cheap, but go in knowing that this is a home movie.