The Beauties and the Beast (1974)

hyped garbage

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

This is a gorgeous movie made by a gorgeous spirit.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties. It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

After a two minute introduction to the Bigfoot mythos that seems like it could have been plucked out of "Legend of Boggy Creek", we first meet the shag carpeted, snaggle-toothed creature himself. Seems that this particular Bigfoot is quite the peeping tom. Spying on them until they get into various stages of undress then whisking them away to his secret cave for later use. In between the cheaply made creature roaming around doing his thing, we're 'treated' to such mindless padding as a woman waking up & showering with a sad lack of nudity, a mindless sub-plot ( or what passes for a semblance of a plot in all honesty) about ex-cons that goes nowhere fast, hippies being hippies (complete with an absolutely horrid song), and a rather strange nightmare that has jack all to do with anything. Strictly for fans/ completinists of the works of Uschi Digard and/or Sharon Kelley. Because even ample nudity can't save this turd.My Grade: D-

The legendary Bigfoot monster does his usual...erm...Bigfooting around some woods where a couple of vacationing young lovelies and a communal household of rather irritating hippies(oh Gawd....that folk song...)spend their time in various states of undress. The titular "beast" is a pretty shoddy man-in-a-gorilla-suit mess with what appears to be a cro-magnon head mask. Our Bigfoot carries unsuspecting girlies to a cave, where he keeps them captive for future(implied sexual)activities. This rock-bottom crud has everything trash film mongers crave...it's astoundingly cheap, with more nudity than you might expect of it(full-frontal, both male and female....the Bigfoot, however, is devoid of any obvious genitalia....perhaps the monster is of the lesbian persuasion?) Pisspoor editing abounds....either the video I bought is badly cut, or several key issues are left entirely unresolved. Who cares, though? You're watching this to see boobs and cheesy monster mayhem, and that's just what you get. Ten filthy little stars....now go buy yourself a copy.

Usually bigfoot movies and sexploitation are a winning combination whether they're arty ("La Bete"), cheesy ("Monster at Camp Sunshine"), or somewhere in between ("Tanya's Island"). This movie, however, is just boring. Actually, it's really two different boring movies with only the most tenuous connection between them. In one movie a ridiculous bigfoot-type creature kidnaps naked women. But all he does is seal them in his cave (if you're looking for some bestiality here, forget it). In the second movie, a bunch of hippie campers sit around talking endlessly, playing godawful guitar music, and having a lot of sex. And even the latter is boring because the incompetent filmmakers always managed to find the most unappealing angle from which to shoot the action and then held the same shot practically forever. It's hard to believe a movie like this that is barely more than an hour long (and at least half of which is devoted to sex scenes) could seem to drag on forever, but it does. Some of the more rabid Russ Meyer fans might appreciate the appearance of the top-heavy (if otherwise totally untalented) Uschi Digart. I really wouldn't recommend this to anyone else though.

A very ragged-looking voyeuristic Bigfoot kidnaps girls to keep in his cave for no apparent reason whatsoever. Enter two girls vacationing at a cabin (one of whom is Ushi Digard who can barely speak English) who meet up with a small group of hippies. Soon they're all attacked by some bad guys looking for their stash until Bigfoot shows up. This is a shoddy production all around with sex scenes that go on WAAAY too long. There is one bizarre dream sequence of a showdown between two girls wearing only gun belts and boots. Recommended only to liberal-minded Bigfoot completists only.