The Last House in the Woods (2006)

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Thanks for the memories!

A story that's too fascinating to pass by...

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

Cannibalism and gore with a story ... not. They just didn't get it. Horror has been here before. They brought nothing new. Would have been a whopper a decade back but now is just a rehash already been done. I'm sure they saw their venture as daring and innovative but only because they didn't do their homework. Unless you've only been visiting Disney, there's nothing to shock you here. All plot elements have been explored as far back as the late 60s. That seems to be the mantra nowadays. It's easy to say "There's nothing new to be done" and then something like "The Dark Knight" rolls through and you realize it's about pushing the envelope and creative juice and back in the day when little bitty films (like "Night of the Living Dead") hurled themselves against the mainstream. They originate off the chart, not repeating the already done. Different world, I guess,but aren't there film makers stirring and concocting things outside the box? And how in the world do films that do nothing get the financing? Skip it.

A couple with child are driving on a road in the woods. The man loses control of the car, crashes into a tree and dies. As the mother tries to stop a car for help, she's run over. The driver stops, grabs a rock and smashers her to death. When he hears the hiding kid he goes after him.Later we meet a young but estranged couple as they drive to the woods. They stop for romance and are assaulted by some drugged gang members. He's beaten up, she stops a car for help. The man who helps her has a gun and makes the gangster run for their life. Also in the car is the man's wife. The young couple is taken to their estate in the woods. But something isn't right here. When she awakens, she's tied to a chair. Next to her is her ex also tied up but passed out. His lower leg is missing. In front of her, the dining table and a child munching on his leg! Eventually she escapes and ends up in an RV that belongs to some deformed retards. They take her captive and bring her back to the home in the woods. Our gangsters from earlier hear the noise and make it to house as well. Turns out the 2 retards and the kid who has shark-like teeth are all children of the couple that lives there. The kid has some need to devour flesh and the parents find the human meat when necessary. At this point all sorts of struggles take place between the crazy family and the gangsters who now have become good guys.The final scene is quite powerful, when we see a sort of shrine in the basement. At the center is the kid from the accident at the beginning of the movie. He is alive but his limbs have been removed. He and the monstrous kid meet presumably for the first time.This movie has an interesting premise but the production cannot make the best of it. Too many characters, none of which are particularly interesting or arouse sympathy. There's some gore here and there. Quite a bit of this movie is rather dull.

If the wardrobes and home decor weren't so modern, I would have sworn this grimy little movie was an authentic 70s Italian gore film. Really, it had almost everything, as I shall try to illustrate. First, we're treated to a mom, dad and little boy driving home down a long deserted road in the middle of nowhere. After running over a well-placed booby trap, the car crashes, dad dies, and mom and kid escape to get help. Help doesn't REALLY come though, and the little boy takes off running through the woods. Flash forward to recently broken-up young lovers Aurora and Reno, who decide to "talk" about their problems on the same lonely road. They're beset by three obnoxious young men who want to rape the girl and beat the boy. But help comes in the nick of time from a fashionably dressed couple. Unfortunately, it's not REALLY help and our young lovers soon find themselves in the terror-filled "Last House in the Woods." We've got a creepy, androgynous kid with an annoying voice (Fulci, Burial ground). We've got well-dressed moms with issues (tons). We've got family secrets (tons of gialli). We've got crazy lighting (Argento). We've got a bizarre synthesizer score (tons). We've got gore, vomit, and pus (the good ones). We've got a David Hess-looking main bad guy (House on the Edge of the Park). We've got one crazy dude with a chainsaw (Hooper, not Italian but still). We've even got a guy who acts like a zombie, since there wasn't a logical way to throw in a real zombie. Oh, and the threat of some good ol' Papa Fulci eyeball violence. It's like an Italian "Scream," bringing back the conventions the writer-director grew up with. Plus, like all good Italian gore films, it doesn't make a lot of sense.Is this a good movie? No. But "Last House in the Woods" is an entertaining little time warp, made enjoyable by some fun gore and a love of the movies that came before.

In this Italian horror movie, young Aurora (Daniela Virgilio) and her boyfriend Rino (Daniele Grassetti) are ambushed by a gang of hoodlums who wish harm on them, but thankfully good Samaritan Antonio (Gennaro Diana) comes to their aid.He takes them to his home, which lies in the deepest recesses of the woods, and soon Aurora realizes that her savior is in actuality her devil. He introduces her to his family, including cannibalistic sons, and soon Aurora and Rino are in a fight for their lives, and their only true saviors are the hoodlums who once attacked them.It seems like this film was made a long time ago, with the old camera effects, but the storyline is highly engrossing, and the gore is there in spades. It reminds me actually of the classic horror flick "The Last House on the Left," and with the similar title it might be why I connect the two. I also enjoy how the bad guys at the beginning of the film end up being the good guys in the end. Its always nice to see people change their ways.