Hillside Cannibals (2006)

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

Within the first 30 seconds of the title sequence I was going to give HILLSIDE CANNIBALS the benefit of the doubt : " Hey this is one of those THE HILLS HAVE EYES rip offs " I said to myself and knew I wasn't going to be watching a masterpiece . Within the following five minutes I was still giving it the benefit of the doubt: " Hey horny teenagers with weed , beer and a sex drive , this is one of those HALLOWEEN rip offs " I said to myself and knew I wasn't going to be watching a masterpiece . However ten minutes later I had more or less given up on the movie . It's a gory film , a derivative film , a retro film but worse of all it's a film that makes no sense whatsoever . Even a hardcore horror fan and IMDb contributer like Paul Andrews despised this film which shows youhow absolutely dreadful it is Even the subtitle THE LEGEND OF SAWNEY BEAN makes no sense . I remember as a child reading a book by Daniel Farson which was the first time I'd heard of the legend of an inbreed brood killing and eating passerbys in a remote part of Scotland . A great number of people even in Scotland have never heard of the legend so what chance of the average American ? No doubt the average American teenager watching this will be scratching their head wondering why the male cannibals are wearing skirts . For those of us who have heard about the legend we'll all be scratching our heads wondering how mythical 17th century Scottish cannibals have suddenly decided to jump 6,000 miles and 300 years in to present day America . Have they got a Tardis ? This lack of explanation and logic goes well beyond the premise and in to every plot turn . I know 28 WEEKS LATER received a lot of criticism of characters acting stupid in order to drive the plot forward but that was still a highly entertaining well made movie with a political subtext where as here we have absolute garbage of the lowest order . For example if all these people have been disappearing over the years how come no one seems to be aware of this ? In fact it must have been so obvious to the sheriff that I started to think he might be involved in the culling himself long before it was revealed on screen he was . This leads to a ridiculous plot hole where he comes across the surviving female early in the film . Ask yourself this - why didn't he hand her over to the cannibals there and then instead of waiting till the end of the movie ? The above line is really a rhetorical question since if he did that the film would have ended , thereby saving the audience another hour of torture . That's basically all that happens plot wise - girl saves boy from cannibal den , boy gets captured and tortured again ,girl gets saved by survivalist , survivalist gets killed , girl gets captured by sheriff and to pad this out we have to endure meaningless scenes with the cannibals grunting and fighting amongst themselves . Perhaps the worst aspect is the ending where the film suddenly stops during a cannibal sex scene . It's impossible to believe atrocious rubbish like this was aborted during draft stage since it's undoubtedly one of the worst , most unentertaining films I have ever seen

Good movie, go check it out, don't worry about what some dumb f*(k blockbuster employee has to say, he obviously didn't even see it. It is in fact about the same cannibal family explained in the commentary for The Hills Have Eyes, just in a more modern setting. This movie actually has the look and feel of an old school horror film. I would suggest renting it, but not buying, unless your a collector of everything horror, like myself. I gave it a 6, cheesy acting, bad cuts, and it kind of has a T.V. show feel at times as well. The gore is great, the nudity is just right, and some may argue, but the ending was very good. Great Job... By the way, this movie is far better than Hostel, F! you Eli Roth!!

Man, oh man.....what a joke of a movie. Was this supposed to be taken seriously (well, as serious as a movie about cannibalism can be taken)? The gore was there, but done by what I would believe to be the bottom tier of the SFX profession. The acting blew....Z list actors and actresses reading cue cards.The "cannibals" looked like (to steal from another poster) rejects from Gilligans Island. White frat guys and sorority girls, dressed in grass skirts and rolled in dirt. This is the "horrible cannibalistic family". Ooooooooooooooooh, scary. They live in a cave in the desert and play with dolls. Oh, THE TERROR!!! They talk in their own language, which goes something like this, "ooga booga", "ugh", "woomba", "blah blah blah". The Chills are running up my spine! Yet, another turd in the toilet bowl from Asylum.....3 out of 10, and that is being generous due to the laugh-ability factor.

I love loads of horror films, and a rather wide variety, my favorites are stylized with a creepy atmosphere, but I can enjoy a film on gore alone if well done with a decently creepy premise or killer. This film, I wanted so badly to enjoy, but it was garbage, and most of the time I can find something to enjoy in films most consider trash. There's sadly nothing here. Its supposed to be about the legend of Sawney Bean, the head of an incestuous cannibalistic clan who lived in caves along the shores of Scotland over 400 years ago. What we have is a badly acted film with gore effects I literally have done better for Halloween costumes, with no real story to speak of. The cannibals barely do more than grunt and act like cave men, which is wrong. No one has a Scottish accent, the caves seem to be in the desert, plus its set in modern day, but sawney bean is supposed to still be alive and no explanation is given as to why. The actual legend of Sawney Bean is very creepy and great fodder for a horror film so why they decided to make this film without using ANY of the legend outside of the name sawney bean and cannibals living in a cave is beyond me. Texas Chainsaw Massacre part FOUR was better than this. If any real effort was put into making this film by its crew, thats very very pathetic as to what they were able to create. Disjointed, badly made, no plot drivel. There's really nothing here for even the most lenient critic to enjoy.Someone should properly make the Sawney Bean story into a film as that would actually be something to see, if done well.