Vampires Anonymous (2003)

Excellent but underrated film

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

After eating his beloved girlfriend, the vampire Vic Weller (Paul Popowich) admits that has a problem and joins a 12-step program called "Vampires Anonymous" to get rid of the habit of drinking human blood. He goes to a meeting and is submitted to a test, where it is determined that he should replace human by sheep blood. His sponsor Geno (Michael Madsen) and the program relocate Vic to Rock Creek, in North Caroline, where he falls in love for the local Maggie Miller (Nicole Forester). However, the disappearance of sheep attracts the attention of a vampire slayer and the police, getting Vic into trouble."Vampires Anonymous" is an enjoyable film, with an analogy to the AA for vampires in an original story. There is dark humor, romance and many funny situations. This movie is neither a masterpiece nor a crap, just a pleasant entertainment. My vote is six.Title (Brazil): "Vampiros Anônimos" ("Vampires Anonymous")

Vampires Anonymous starts in Los Angeles where Vampire Vic Weller (Paul Popowich) needs help controlling his addiction to blood so he calls Vampires Anonymous who run a twelve step program for Vampires. A program designed to make Vampires not want to drink human blood & be there if they need help or are having trouble, the first step is apparently to 'admit you have a problem' & ends with 'smile, your a winner!' although there's lots of hard work & temptation to overcome between. Vic gets packed of to Rock Creek, North Carolina where he has to blend in with the locals & feed on the blood of sheep but Vic finds it hard to suppress the Vampire within himself...Co-written, co-produced & directed by Michael Keller I have to say right off the bat that I hated Vampires Anonymous., of course this is just my opinion & I'm in no way saying that you will definitely hate it but I think there's a fair chance the majority of potential viewers will find much more to hate in Vampires Anonymous than like. The script by Keller & J.P. Srinivasan is the biggest problem here, again this is just my opinion but I thought it was terrible. Vampires Anonymous is supposed to be some sort of light hearted comedy horror romance with a pinch of biting satire about therapy groups & psychiatric help thrown in there for good (bad?) measure. If that basic story outline makes you laugh then you may enjoy Vampires Anonymous but I thought it was an awful attempt at trying to be clever & funny & different, Vampires Anonymous is one of the most unfunny comedies I've ever seen & the makers can't even pull off a good sheep shagging farmer joke. The genre of horror comedy is very hard to pull off & the makers of this fail in spectacular fashion, the horror elements are none existent, the romance is so cheesy & predictable I almost threw up & it took me four sittings of twenty odd minutes each to get through this because I literally couldn't get through it one go.Director Keller turns in a competent film & that's the only reason this turd gets two stars out of ten rather than one. It's not scary, it's definitely not funny, there's no tension, it's utterly predictable, the story is all over the place, the character's are unlikable, the dialogue sucks & I found it a real chore to sit through. I didn't like it. At all. Forget about any gore, there's a couple of neck bitings & a bit of blood drinking otherwise nothing. No nudity either. According to the closing credits Vampires Anonymous was edited by the interesting named Farm Dog, either that it was was literally edited by a farm dog.Technically the film is fine & is really the only positive aspect of it but since it sucks so bad in every other way does it really matter? Shot in Burlington in North Carolina apparently, I doubt this is going to do much for the tourist numbers though. I have some advice for Michael Madsen, get a new agent considering some of the crap he's been in. I mean from the classy Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) to this as his next film?! Having said that the quotes 'I probably made a few pictures I shouldn't have done, but I have four sons and I have to pay the rent. If you have a decision to make about whether or not you can buy groceries at the market or whether or not you're going to make a bad movie, you're going to make a bad movie.' & 'My career has been very strange. My career is like a heart monitor. I get involved in a good project now and then to keep things going. And then I make things that I work on that I hope are going to be good so I can make a living and keep a roof over the heads of those little monsters I have in my house. You know, every movie you make can't be great, no matter who you are. Even Brando made some clinkers.' from his page on the IMDb explains why he makes rubbish like Vampires Anonymous. We all have to pay the rent I suppose.Vampires Anonymous sucks as much as the Vampires in the film, I'm sorry but I really disliked every aspect of the story & found it so unfunny & moronic it's untrue. If your looking for biting satire go elsewhere, if your looking for some laughs go elsewhere, if your looking for some horror go elsewhere & if your looking to be entertained go elsewhere.

Move over LeStat! Vic's in town and he's jonesin' for some plasma without killing another girlfriend to get it. Join Michael Madsen (emphasis on the word 'mad) and an outstanding cast of comic actors spending time with the vampire homies. Watch the incredible lead actor ace his 'vampire test' and get an assignment to help him kick the red sauce. Then guffaw as you watch him implement his personal 12-step program. With all the kitsch vampire movies being released, it was wonderful to watch a funny, original film that brings new blood to the genre. Polished performances, tight script, believable acting (you'll love 'Diesel'), talented direction make an enjoyable date movie.

I just saw this movie as part of San Jose's Cinequest Film Festival, and I must say it is very well done considering the budget they had to work with. The storyline is brilliant, and the dialogue is hilarious. The main character, Vic, is tired of always succumbing to bloodlust and killing the people he loves, so he enrolls in a 12-Step program called Vampires Anonymous which tells him that he should switch to sheep, and move to North Carolina. Here he meets the girl of his dreams, and much humour ensues. According to the filmmakers, they are attempting to get it out on video by the end of the year, so if you didn't get a chance to see it in the theatres, you will get your opportunity. I highly recommend this movie as a break from some of the normal Buffy-esque vampire lore (which is fantastic in its own right) that is so common these days. I give it 10 Stars!