Double Agent 73 (1974)

Brilliant and touching

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

While it is a pity that the story wasn't told with more visual finesse, this is trivial compared to our real-world problems. It takes a good movie to put that into perspective.

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

Double Agent 73 (1974) * (out of 4) I guess the only thing you really need to know about star Chesty Morgan is that her measurements are 73FF-32-36. If you must know about the plot to this sexploitation pic then Chesty plays an undercover agent who is trying to clean out some mean heroin dealers. The plot twist here is that Chesty has a camera inserted into her boob so that she can squeeze them and take a picture of the people she's killing. Why that plot twist? So she can walk around topless of course. If you're looking for any type of quality then you've obviously never seen a film from exploitation master Wishman as anything good really isn't her cup of tea. There's no question that this is a horrid movie but it's somewhat like a car wreck because no matter how brutal or ugly it gets you still can't turn your head away. As for Chesty I guess it goes without saying that she's a horrible actress. For the life of me it seems like she's incredibly unhappy or confused about being in this movie as she looks as if she's in pain or perhaps drugged. Either way, her performance is pretty bad as are her dubbed lines (apparently her Polish accent was too rough). We're not here to see her act though as everyone is coming to see her 73FF friends and I must admit that they did nothing for me. I can't say I found them erotic, sexy or interesting. I just saw them as freaks in a freak show. The film appears to have been shot silent with all the voices added in post-production, which is something Wishman did quite often in her films. The low-budget nature of the film actually helps it as everything from the music score to the editing to the direction is pretty bad. This is pure exploitation so I'm sure people will enjoy sitting around with their friends and making fun of everything that's going on.

"Double Agent 73" is an amateurish and inept movie, yet there is an honesty about its amateurishness and ineptness: you get the feeling that the people involved didn't want to cheat you, they really did try to make an espionage / action movie, they just lacked the talent and budget required. Sure, you could complain all day long about the pointlessly long shots of, say, horse-racing, or the sped-up "car chase", or the lack of logic in the story, but you also have to give credit to the film's creativity: it's not every day you can see a punch with the breast replacing the fist, or death via ice cubes stuffed into the victim's mouth! Chesty Morgan gives a somewhat catatonic performance (she's no worse than anyone else in the cast, mind you), and there can be little argument that her breasts are unerotic (bigger is not always better), however she does have a pretty face and nice legs. (*1/2)

Please don't pay too much attention too the extremely low 1/10 rating, as "Double Agent 73" is nevertheless recommended in a very culty kind of way, but I simply can't bring myself to donate a positive number to such an utter piece of amateurish trash! This isn't really a movie; this is a weird homage to two enormous and hideous bags of fat that are supposed to look like breasts. I can't possibly imagine that there are men (or women?) out there that get aroused by gigantic cup sizes like this, but this film as well as its predecessor "Deadly Weapons" was a modest cult-hit in the bizarre sexploitation-circuit of the early 1970's. Chesty Morgan is the worst excuse for an actress ever, but her breasts are like smörgåsbords for weirdies and she doesn't mind walking around with them exposed. She's supposed to be a brilliant undercover spy, assigned to clean up a network of low-quality heroine dealers. With a hi-tech camera implanted in her boobs (!), Chesty sleazes her way through the horny bad guys. This is quite an exceptional piece of distasteful cinema. Whatever is said or done, the camera ALWAYS zooms in on Chesty's chest (although the nipples are located somewhere in her waist-area)! It feels like director Doris Wishman, or any of the producers involved, don't even want you to care about the plot. The incompetence of this film is hilarious. Not only Chesty's acting is embarrassing, but also the rough editing, the dialogs and the handful of gory killings. I suppose this counts as one of those movies you have to see in order to believe, but if you don't have a particular weakness for low-grade cult, I'd say skip it.

The is definitely the stupidest (and funniest) film that I have ever seen! A movie about a butt ugly woman with a 73 inch bust with a camera implanted in her left boobie is definitely Oscar-worthy material. Just looking at Ms. Chesty makes my back hurt.Rating a negative 57 out of 1000