Student Bodies (1981)

Thanks for the memories!

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

I saw this weird number on TV when there was absolutely nothing else new on the tube, and have never forgotten it!Singular for containing no known actors, a really weak plot (a psycho killer is targeting high school students at a school dance), terrible acting, and an obvious budget of near-zero, it is still one of the most entertaining movies I have ever seen. It's sole saving grace is one actor, whose name is a mystery to this day (billed only as "The Stick") and very aptly named (you'll know what this means as soon as you see him!) He plays the strange high school janitor who is so odd that he can't find any girl anywhere to be his date for the dance. Never seen anything like him that still falls within the bounds of the human race, but all of us were actually rolling on the living room floor with laughter every minute he was on screen.Unfortunately, all attempts to find this gem on DVD or even VHS tape anywhere, have failed. Hopefully, maybe some day it will turn up. If you find it anywhere, don't pass up this opportunity to see a truly unique movie!

Student Bodies is one of the most over-hyped and acclaimed films by the horror loving public. Personally, I think it suffers the "unheard of gem" syndrome because it's a horror parody that is fifteen to twenty years ahead of movies that set out to do the same idea like Scream and Scary Movie...but there is no way on this earth that it's a better film than those two. Just because a movie is ahead of its time, that doesn't mean it'll be good.The movie starts out okay only for its script to jump into a whirlpool of unfunny scenarios and jokes. The comedy of this movie is overwhelmingly tedious as the jokes are all dragged out more than three times and often resort to potty humour and sex jokes – not a good move, immaturity can be fun as it's always great to find the child inside us, but really, there are limits and Student Bodies goes way beyond them as the film thinks it is so much funnier than it actually is. The opening scene may mislead you as it parodies the horror "rules" and clichés perfectly but as soon as the first ten minutes are over, bam; here comes the cringe-fest.The parodies are okay however they're swallowed up by the god awful humour. If the creators knew how to parody "the unseen killer" cliché they would have properly leave him as "The Breather" and occasionally give him jokes to make, not talking throughout the whole film every time he has a scene and especially not noticing the audience – that's annoying and it becomes unbearably unfunny. It's so disappointing seeming as the spoofs and parodies of the clichéd slasher formulated sub-genre seem to be going so well, only to leave you cringing in frustration due to how tediously unfunny the entire film is.That's all there really is to say. Student Bodies is a parody that relies on its jokes and the jokes are bad so where is the fun in that? There seem to be good ideas to parody the cliché's in horror but they're thrown out the window because the movie is so focused on cramming its humour in your face...and it isn't even funny, it's all ten year old humour. It's a shame as I was really looking forward to where Scary Movie started and sure I saw it, but man was I disappointed. I'd choose Scream over this any day. 3/10

im writing this at the time of watching it!I've had this movie for about 14 years on VHS, and for some reason i never watched it until now!!let me tell u this....I've been laughing from the second it started, im now about an hour into the movie!!i always thought scary movie was quite original....but whoever made that must of been a serious fan of this movie!! if u like scary movie you will love this...there's a lot more fun and laughs, and originality!! if u didn't like scary movie you will still enjoy this!! its a must for any horror or comedy fan!! i keep expecting the likes of lesley neilson to pop up somewhere!! this gets a 10 out of 10 from me, i haven't watched anythin so funny in a long time!!

At Lamab High School, a vicious killer known as 'The Breather' is attacking young couples during sex. Although there are several shady characters at the school, all of whom could possibly be the killer, it is virginal student Toby (Kristen Riter) who becomes the prime suspect: according to the school psychiatrist, her traumatic childhood and subsequent repressed sexuality makes her the student 'most likely to kill'.The Wayans brothers made a mint out of their Scary Movie series, but it was Student Bodies—made almost twenty years before Keenen Ivory, Marlon and Shawn claimed the idea as their own—that first set the extremely low standard for desperately unfunny slasher spoofs. In fact, by comparison, Scary Movie looks like a work of genius.86 minutes of completely puerile garbage, Student Bodies takes a promising concept and flushes it straight down the pan: the dreadful script is about as funny as a triple hernia, with several of the lamest 'jokes' repeated ad nauseum; the cast consists primarily of untalented unknowns with zero flair for comedy; and the direction, by Mickey Rose, is clumsy and predictable (strangely enough, Rose was happy to keep his name on the credits, and it was producer Michael Ritchie who wisely used the pseudonym 'Alan Smithee' in an effort to distance himself from the film).Those with a taste for the truly bizarre will probably get a kick out of 'The Stick', who plays Malvert, the school's gangly double-jointed janitor, and the sight of Riter in a tight, tarty 'Olivia-Newton-John-in-Grease' style prom outfit should appeal to most blokes (she's no Anna Faris, but she still looks pretty hot in that get-up), but with no gore, no nudity, and more importantly, absolutely no laughs, Student Bodies must go down as one of the weakest horror/comedies in the history of the genre.