Serpent Island (1954)

Let's be realistic.

best movie i've ever seen.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

In one of the most deliciously bad adventure films ever made, practically every cliché is used, whether in dialog, use of props or plot development. Mary Munday is a secretary from Scranton PA who hires Sonny Tufts, a drunken seaman from San Pedro, to work on a boat she has hired to take her to the Caribbean to find some gold she claims her great-grandfather discovered a century before. Tom Monroe plays the resentful captain who makes his dislike to Tufts known from the very start. It isn't clear whether it is Tufts or his lack of acting ability which Monroe doesn't like, but one thing is clear, both of their instant lusts for Munday. At least she has some little bit of acting ability, even if she's no threat to the likes of Maria Montez, Hedy Lamarr, Dorothy Lamour or any other actress in this type of movie who was forced to done a sarong.Rosalind Hayes plays the high voodoo priestess of the island where Tufts believes the gold has been stashed, and she utilizes her muscular henchman (the ironically named Don Blackman) to stalk the island visitors wherever they go. When they do come across the apparent location of the gold, they discover that it is guarded by a large anaconda like snake. One of the funniest moments comes when Munday ends up encountering the large snake and literally has to wrestle with it. I guess the snake hadn't expected that a seemingly fragile looking female like Munday could give it such a work-out.The film is expanded in running time with some stock footage of native rights. This is the one opportunity to see someone doing the chicken dance with a real chicken. There are many moments in this which look like outtakes from the documentary comedy, "It Came From Hollywood!", which took great pleasure in slamming movies like this. Tufts, one of Paramount's attempts to make into a star (with dismal failure) spends much of the screen time with his shirt off, almost resembling the original screen Tarzan (Elmo Lincoln) with his not so trim torso. In fact, I can just imagine scenes from the original screenings of this with audience members screaming out, "Put it back on!".

"Pete Mason" (Sonny Tufts) is a wharf rat who does whatever he can just to make ends meet. So when a pretty woman named "Ricki Andre" (Mary Munday) comes along and offers him a job sailing with her to find some lost gold in the Caribbean he reluctantly accepts her offer. As luck would have it, the captain of this particular sailboat Ricki has chartered is an old adversary of Pete who goes by the name of "Kirk Ellis" (Tom Monroe). Accordingly, as soon as Pete learns of this he realizes that this is definitely not going to be a pleasure cruise. Anyway, rather than reveal any more of the movie I will just say that this is a low-grade B-movie made in the 50's which some viewers may not find that entertaining. Yet, in spite of the low production values, less-than-stellar acting and footage that appeared to be taken straight out of a "National Geographic" documentary I still found it somewhat enjoyable due in large part to the interesting story. However, having said that I would be less than honest to rate it higher than I have--and even then I may have been a bit too generous. Slightly below average.

Snooty secretary Ricki Andre (tartly played by Mary Munday) hires scrappy dockside bum Pete Mason (an engagingly scruffy portrayal by brawny Sonny Tufts) to help her find a million dollar gold treasure that's hidden on a Caribbean island. Complications ensure when Ricki and Pete encounter a voodoo cult on said island. Competently directed by Tom Gries (who also wrote the compact script), this 62 minute quickie offers up all the expected endearingly hokey pulp cinema clichés in reasonably entertaining and straightforward manner: We've got a fierce storm, rough'n'tumble fisticuffs, hostile natives, and a last reel attack by a boa constrictor. Domingo Rodrigues' lively score and Bert I. Gordon's vibrant color cinematography are both up to speed. The cast goes to town on the familiar formula material: Tom Monroe sneers it up nicely as gruff sea captain Kirk Ellis, Don Blackman glowers effectively as fearsome bald hulk Jacques, and Tufts brings a winning blend of brash humor and raw energy to his role. The footage of the Haitians performing a voodoo ceremony gives this picture a dash of tangy exotic flavor. However, the often sluggish pacing, a teeming surplus of rather tedious talk, and the meandering narrative make this movie a bit of a chore to sit through. That said, this flick overall qualifies as an enjoyable enough romp all the same.

All of the reviews I've read here talk about this being Bert I. Gordon's first film, but he just photographed it (badly) and the real person of interest here should be Tom Gries, who went on to be a decent journeyman director with a lot of years in TV under his belt before he directed feature films starring Charlton Heston, Raquel Welch, and others. Plus, one of his most notable films was "Helter Skelter", the Charles Manson story made for TV and quite good for its kind. So, knowing all this I kept thinking throughout this movie that with a bigger budget and a better cast, it could have been a passable adventure story of the kind that was very popular in the 1950s. Instead of Sonny Tufts and Mary Munday (not Rosalind Hayes in the female lead as has been erroneously stated here), think Robert Mitchum and Jane Russell, or Gary Cooper and Rita Hayworth, or Clark Gable and Ava Gardner, etc. An A cast like that and a better script, and of course better cinematography and musical score, and you would have something worth watching. Instead we have something so inept on every level that it was painful to watch. The numerous scenes of Sonny Tufts with his shirt off were hilarious, not to mention the supposedly swimsuit-worthy body of Mary Munday. Now as for Gordon's contribution: it looked like a travelogue, complete with travelogue background music, that I kept getting the impression someone took some home movies of a Haitian vacation and tried to make a movie out of it with lots of filler. At least the pain only lasted for 62 minutes.