Kismet (1944)

I love this movie so much

Better Late Then Never

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama

This 1944 "Kismet" was supposedly an enormous and expensive MGM production. Filmed in color, the film stars Ronald Colman, Marlene Dietrich, Joy Page, James Craig, and Edward Arnold.There are songs in this movie, not memorable -- it's not the Broadway musical that Vincente Minnelli directed in film form starring Howard Keel.Set in Baghdad, Colman plays Hafiz, who calls himself the King of the Beggars by day and by night plays the role of royalty from a foreign land. He has a daughter, Marsinah, and now that she's older, he realizes that he promised her the world and isn't going to be able to deliver. Marsinah is content, however -- she's in love with a gardener's son (James Craig) who is really the Caliph of Baghdad but likes to go incognito. So Hafiz goes incognito as wealthy and the Caliph goes incognito as poor.Hafiz poses as a dignitary and manages to get into the palace of the Grand Vizier. He's determined to have his daughter become part of the household; also, he's in love with sovereign from a distant land and romances the beautiful Jamilla (wife and queen of the grand Vizier). The big scene in this is Dietrich's dance, with her legs painted gold. As always, she is incredible and beautiful. Colman is a little old for Hafiz, but in this version, he has a teenage daughter. He's terrific as the sly beggar. As his daughter, Joy Page is lovely and innocent. She was Jack Warner's stepdaughter, not that it did her much good. She is still remembered as the young Bulgarian woman whose virtue is saved by Bogie in "Casablanca." The sets are obviously backdrops and studio builds. But somehow, one believes it's a foreign land. The color is beautiful.The musical numbers, except for Marlene's dance, are on the dull side. In the musical Kismet, the songs were fashioned from the music of Aleksandr Borodin, the melodies of which are very familiar, particularly Stranger in Paradise, and And This is My Beloved. So this isn't Howard Keel, Ann Blyth, and Delores Gray; it's Colman, Page, and Dietrich. Since it's not a musical, that's more than good enough.

Ronald Colman plays 'the prince of beggars,' who schemes to marry his daughter to royalty while romancing Marlene Dietrich, the wife of grand vizier Edward Arnold. This is a different kind of role for Colman. He doesn't seem suited for the part, in my opinion. It's just hard to buy classy Ronald Colman as a beggar, though he gives it his best. I really hoped to like this one more than I did. It's got nice Technicolor, a great director, and a good cast. It's from MGM so you know it has quality sets and costumes. But the whole thing is just dull and boring. Marlene Dietrich's dance scene is the film's highlight but even that's not that impressive. Also it features the poor man's Clark Gable, James Craig. Not a fan. See it if you enjoy Dietrich or Colman but keep expectations low.

This story about the king of the beggars of Baghdad marrying off his daughter off to royalty is certainly popular in film. There are several silent versions: 1914, 1916, 1920, and of course the 1955 musical. However the only competition for this masterpiece was made in 1930, featuring that great queen of camp, Loretta Young, but is now a 'lost' film, so until a copy is found this one remains the undisputed masterpiece of the genre. Ronald Colman plays Hafiz the great thief to perfection, including the extremely difficult task of balancing a turban the size of a small cupola on his head for the audience with the Grand Vizier that would have annihilated a less hardy specimen. As a matter of fact the costumes in this film are important enough to merit the treatment of a main character: They are so exquisitely ridiculous and the material so obviously synthetic, overwrought, clashing in color and style and so overwhelmingly kitsch that it is the DEFINITIVE example for the period and genre. Nothing like this has been since before or since, thank God. Although the film is in color you could swear they had color blind designers working you will see dangerous combinations of color never since surpassed; emerald green and magenta, scarlet and deep blue, saffron orange and mustard yellow....these are just some samplings but you have to add the swimming pools/fountains in every corner shining in acid-sapphire, the elaborate Formica lattice work of the harem walls, the spectacular shine of gold plated plastic jewelry....it is a thousand nightmares of design wrapped neatly into one movie, to be treasured forever. This is not a movie to rent, you have to BUY this film and watch it several times to appreciate it in detail. The most outstanding performance is of course, Marlene Dietrich as Jamilla, the 'Macedonian' wife and queen of the grand Vizier (Edward Arnold) who by the way is the closest I have ever seen to a slab of prosciutto in the shape of a human, stuffed into severe velour's-metal embroidered tunics that could asphyxiate an elephant in an Indian wedding. But back to Jamilla: Her dance sequence is one of those moments in Hollywood history for which there are simply no superlatives or adjectives that can approximate the exhilaration of watching it. It would be like trying to describe the explosion of an atomic bomb at sunset in the Sahara. I will just say that never has a human being been capable of moving so gracefully with so much hair piled up in a complex ziggurat on her head while heavily burdened with a solid gold embroidered camisole, gold painted limbs, and enough bracelet weight to sink the titanic. There is not a moment in which she is not batting away three pairs of false eyelashes per eye, while holding an inane conversation with utmost interest, maintaining a dangerous cleavage line in place and holding a completely transparent veil to her chin. One half of this coordinated effort would have killed Ms.Paltrow and her tepid generation of clone-blonds, they certainly don't make them like that anymore! James Craig is the very handsome Caliph who plays at being the gardener's son to romance Hafiz's child, the demure Marsinah ( Joy Ann Page) he even manages to be pretty normally dressed except for the severe crown he puts on in the morning to write letters which would have crushed any skull for karat weight in diamonds. Marsinah always looks plain and innocent, even while dancing and chanting, then she is taken away to the palace in a litter that looks like a plasticized, enlarged fabergé egg and when we see her again she is always crying because she is being forced to marry the Grand Vizier by her father, but I thought it was because she could not stand her violet outfit and her hideous tiara that was crushing her brains with a small hill of diamonds and a cataract to boot, falling down her forehead. The excitement of watching the scenes is not so much out of the plot development as it is to see what they could possibly wear next. I will not detail Marlene's last outfit, in which she rides away with her true love into happily ever after because I am still blinded by the impact. Run, don't walk to get this movie! There is no way anyone can be disappointed with so many colors in every scene, this is the ultimate Ali Baba, Thief of Baghdad movie!

Whew! Beautiful colors! But that's it. Remember "Ninotchka?" "Garbo laughs"? Well, in this movie, Edward Arnold, as the evil vizier, laughs and laughs and laughs, and he's not nearly as good looking. And the two young lovers? There is a reason James Craig is not remembered, he has trouble speaking English with any clarity, rhythm or sincerity. And Joy Page, in the words of Humphrey Bogart, should "go back to Bulgaria." (Yes, that was her. James Craig was the second loser she picked for a husband.) Dietrich provides comedy relief, sounding exactly like Madeline Kahn in "Blazing Saddles." Thank goodness they at least have Hugh Herbert popping up from time to time...and, well, don't tell anyone but I LIKED Ronald Colman in this one....And we haven't even gotten to the truly jaw-dropping (as in bad) special effects. If you want to feel good about yourself at someone else's expense, watch.