Diamond Ninja Force (1988)

Sick Product of a Sick System

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Virtuous white ninja Gordon (the ever suave Richard Harrison) vows revenge on the evil Kogan (outrageously overplayed with eye-rolling hammy brio by Tao Chiang) and his no-count squad of nasty black ninjas after they murder his sweet girlfriend Lori (the lovely Maria Francesca in a too brief cameo). Meanwhile, Kogan enlists the aid of a wicked witch to conjure up spirits in order to get a family out of a house on a patch of land with a secret treasure hidden on it. Writer/director Godfrey Ho delivers an undeniably clumsy, incoherent and nonsensical, yet often sidesplitting and hence hugely entertaining blend of martial arts and supernatural elements into a gloriously ludicrous cinematic hodgepodge that comes complete with lousy dubbing, plain cinematography by Raymond Chang, a frantic nonstop pace, hysterically inept fight scenes, some tasty gratuitous female nudity, a smidgen of soft-core sex (a hot amorous ghost lady seduces a guy while he's sleeping in bed with his wife!), campy bad guys, cheesy (not so) special effects, a funky, syncopated discoid score, and an annoying little boy named Bobo. Moreover, we also get such choice gut-busting moments as a severed head in a basket and the ghost girl masturbating as she watches the guy make love to his wife. Yeah, this flick is by no means a refined work of subtle and sophisticated celluloid art, but it does possess a certain loopy charm and wiggy energy which makes it a lot of fun to watch. A deliciously crummy schlock riot.

Sure this movie is terrible and drags a lot during the haunted house scenes but the sheer blatantly awful quality of the film is rather intriguing. The voice dubbing on the family who are living in the house is laughably awful. The film was obviously made with little effort or enthusiasm and the result is pathetic. I love the name of the family's son: Bobo. That's right Bobo. What the hell kind of name is Bobo? Have you ever heard of anyone ever being named Bobo? And when the people that provide the voice-overs deliver lines with the name Bobo as if it were a perfectly valid name I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably! My favorite line: "Bobo! Don't tell lies!"Anyway who cares about the worthless sub plot! This Movie has the word ninja in the title and legendary film maker GODfrey Ho at the helm, so you can expect some pure adrenaline pumping ninja action to kick your ass! This movie has a fantastic opening where we see Ninja Master Gordon and his woman walking along the waterfront. They are confronted by a group of thugs who look like accountants and one of them boldly proclaims: "someone tells me your a ninja!" Woman: What are they talking about Gordon? Gordon: Nothing dear. just an old fairy tale. Some guy: I know how to find out if your a ninjer or not!" Then Gordon kicks their assesThe fighting is just absurdly bad. Some of the ninja movies i've seen have some good fighting in them but this one is bad for the most part because they use these lame overweight accountants in a lot of the action scenes and they don't know any kung fu at all and pose little threat to the invincible ninja master but There are these two Asian actors in this movie who play as stunt doubles and ninjas in a a few of these movies. I don't know there names unfortunately but one is the Leader of the golden ninja clan in ninja terminator i think. They luckily add a bit of excitement but the rest of the fighting is just Gordon effortlessly slaughtering the accountants. with the use of suriken, smoke and other amazement.Fabulous film! I hope someone is transferring these movies to DVD just so they can be purchased or rented. they're not that easy to find.

(For the record this film is based upon a story by AAV Creative Unit)Bad 1980's ninja film. Its so bad its funny-but not in a good way. The basic plot has a white ninja battling a dark ninja group because the bad ninjas want to take the land where they think their secret wealth was hidden after it was stolen many years earlier (this doesn't take into account the fact the bad ninjas kill the good ninja's wife because she can't tell them where he is). There's black magic and zombies...and the white guy ninja wears heavy eye make-up.Oh,its awful. Bad fighting (you haven't lived until you see the ninja moves behind the candles), bad plot, worse acting, frighting music...and lets not talk about the dub. Its all horrible. And yes, its funny, oh how its funny, but for all the wrong reasons. Unfortunately,after twenty minutes the laughter begins to wane because the movie is just so bad it over whelms any unintentional humor.Words fail me. This is just an awful movie. Funny or no, avoid this movie.

Another mix up from Godfrey Ho, and this time it´s an old Japanese (I recon..) ghost movie, or whats left of it, with new Richard Harrison scenes added afterwords, some 10-15 years later. Apparently Harrison quit the movie buisness because of all the trouble he got from Ho and his paste-up jobs.Anyway, the movie (the old one) is about a family moving into an old haunted hose. There are a dozen ghosts (some of them horny as hell), some maggots and other haunted house thingies.The new scenes with Harrison is about a wizard ghost ninja who is making up all these haunted house horrors, so he can scare the family away and get this magic ...object...so he can become the most powerful wizard ghost ninja in the world. Pretty much like it sounds like....so bad it´s good. recomended, sort of, but could induce headache and minor brain damage.