Cemetery High (1989)

Truly Dreadful Film

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

I rented the DVD of this movie because I saw it was written and directed by the people who made the hilarious cult classic PSYCHOS IN LOVE. However, this effort falls far, far short of that movie. First, I want to mention that the picture and sound of the DVD is among the worst transfers I've experienced. The movie goes all blurry when something moves, and the sound is so faint that it's near impossible to make out what people are saying. However, even if the DVD transfer had been up to snuff, I would still find this movie terrible. The director (Gorman Bechard) has disowned the movie, saying that it was taken out of his hands and reworked by others. The movie sure comes across as a patchwork job, with obvious new footage awkwardly edited in, and a central story that moves at a crawl and lacks things like character development with the central characters. But whether it's the original footage or new footage, the movie is extremely unfunny. There are only three or four gags in the entire 81 minutes that are mildly amusing.It was apt to put the word "cemetery" in the title, because this is one movie that should be deeply buried in one and never dug up again.

Geez, even the "American Pie" movies are better than this. "Cemetery High" is just a pile of garbage that comes at the end of the barrell of 80's trash.The humor is dated, boring, some times cheesy, and I can't remember any particular scene where I chuckled or even frowned a smile.The gore is just okay for a cheesy movie like this. It's uncalled for but it's still decent.The acting is putrid! and the clichèd characters are stupid enough to be soon forgotten.The direction looks pathetic and makes you wonder if the production would have a budget superior to 1000 dollars.I don't recommend it for anything! there aren't memorable scenes. Watch this only if you are in the mood to bash a horrible, boring, misleading movie with a decent title.Think about stupid rock tunes, horrible humor from the 80's, pathetic f/x, and horrible dialogs.Ugh. Avoid it all costs.I watched this movie years ago only because it aired on USA's "Up All Night". Good memories!

According to the director this movie was taken from him and butchered into the incomprehensible mess that is Cemetery High. He apparently has washed his hands of both this and Galactic Gigolo.Now Galactic Gigolo isn't great, but it has its moments and can be enjoyed when you are desperate for more from the people who brought you Psychos in Love. Cemetery High on the other hand is a nearly joyless affair.Perhaps one day this movie will be reassembled by the director and a result all the children of the Earth will live in peace and harmony. Holding one's breath while waiting for this day to come is not advisable. It is double plus inadvisable that one watch this movie under any circumstances.It's a gosh darn shame that things turned out the way they did between Gorman Bechard and Wizard, Cult Epics, Full Moon or whatever Charles Band is calling his company these days. We'll never know what the Psychos in Love gang might have given us had they not been so thoroughly screwed.

I only half-watched this, it was pretty bad. A group of four high school girls who've been raped by men team up to kill men, including the movie's narrator. Throughout the movie, a gong appears and is gonged whenever there is going to be a violent scene: the "gore gong." There is also a "hooter honker," which is a pair of bulb-type bicycle horns. This is really stupid, and about the level of humor in the movie.As in Gorman Bechard's other movies, this is set in Waterbury, Connecticut, has Carmine Capobianco in it, has characters talking to the camera, and has at least one scene set in a video store. I don't know if his more recent movies have these features; I'm hoping he's gotten better.The title "Cemetery High" and the video box cover of women in scanty clothing in a graveyard, one holding a bloody chainsaw, is misleading. I don't recall a scene in a graveyard. I guess it refers more to the fact that high schoolers are killing lots of people.A bumbling mayor, policeman, and coroner try to figure out who the "scumbusters" are, although two of them destroy some evidence. Maybe if I was paying more attention I would have known why, if it was incompetence, or if they were covering for the women for some reason.Mainly, it's just boring with lame humor.