The Clones of Bruce Lee (1980)

The Worst Film Ever

Beautiful, moving film.

Absolutely the worst movie.

Great movie. Not sure what people expected but I found it highly entertaining.

Following Bruce Lee's death, Hong Kong made a number of "Bruceploitation" movies: they starred people who looked like Bruce Lee (and some got advertised as genuine Bruce Lee movies). "The Clones of Bruce Lee" is a prime example. It depicts the creation of Bruce Lee clones sent on missions. Of course, the whole thing is an excuse for non-stop action. The best scene is set on a Thai beach. Without a doubt, the movie's target audience is 14-year-old boys.This is the first Bruceploitation movie that I've seen. All that I can say is that I hope that the entire genre is like this. The funny action and erotic beach constitute one fun flick! A really good time.

One of the crassest of an already crass genre was The Clones Of Bruce Lee (1977), a wildly episodic car crash of a film featuring not one but FOUR of Bruce Lee's most prolific imitators: Bruce Le, Bruce Lai, Brice Tai and our old friend Dragon Lee. It starts with the death of the "real" Bruce - but not before a secretive organization known as the SBI contacts Professor Lucas and ushers him to the hospital slab to extract a syringe of Lee's DNA, in order to create a trio of Bruces in his secret lab. The three Lee-alikes are brainwashed by a disco light known as a "Magnitator" and are trained to a stolen Rocky theme, by the more stocky (and therefore un-Bruce-like) Yang-Sze, better known to world as Bolo Yeung from Enter The Dragon.Before long, the three Bruces are sent on their secret missions: Bruce One (Dragon Lee), is sent to the kung fu sausage machine set of film producer Chai Lo, a dodgy front for all kinds of nefarious un-Lee-like activities. Chai Lo suspects the new Bruce is a narc, and plans to literally "shoot" him in front of the camera! Meanwhile in Thailand, Bruce Two (Bruce Tai) and Three (Bruce Le) team up with a fourth Lee-alike "Chuck" (I presume this is Bruce Lai) on the trail of Dr Nai, a Thai narcotics smuggler who sweats maniacally into his three dollar suit and plans on world domination with his formula for turning schmucks into invincible bronze warriors. The three Lees chase him from one border laboratory to the next; the sight of them rubbing up against tough martial artists fighters in y-fronts and easily removed shiny paint is, in a word, GOLD.The increasingly insane Professor Lucas decides to use the Clones for his own purposes, and pits the Brainwashed Bruces against each other in the ultimate Bruce-Off. Which is exactly the way to read this movie: four wannabes trying to out-Bruce each other. As they're actually meant to be Bruce Lee, they devolve into the most grotesque of caricatures - animal howls, thumbs to the nose, biker sunnies, and the always-popular ripping off the shirts. In the final tally, EVERYone's a winner - or loser, depending on your political persuasion.The Clones Of Bruce Lee comes courtesy of Dick Randall, the American exploitation genius and distributor who literally ran amok in South East Asia in the Seventies: he returned to Thailand to make the Z-grade horror Crocodile (1979), discovered Weng Weng in the Philippines and sold him to the world. Here, in one of his first excursions into bad kung fu territory, he actually threatens to rip the very fabric of film reality itself: Clones... plays like a shonky mad doctor opus like Randall's King Of Kong Island (minus the gorilla suits, of course), a second rate James Bond and a third rate chop socky, with some random nudity thrown in - because they can. Call it Bronzefinger or Bruce Only Lives Twice, or call it completely out of its mind - prepare yourself for one of the most bizarre Bruceploitation epics, The Clones Of Bruce Lee.

Here's yet another in the fairly lengthy list of Bruceploitation flicks to emerge after the great mans untimely demise.Well, first things first, you just have to hand it to the makers of this – what a bloody ridiculous (i.e super cool!) plot! There is just one slight problem from the start however……the three clones of the late martial arts star actually bear bugger all resemblance to him! (nor to each other even more alarmingly!!!) Still, let us not nit pick over such erm….inconsequential factors; rather let us instead revel in the never ending series of chop-socky fights, cool seventies fashions (including humongous sunglasses and medallions) and indeed the presence of perennial B-movie faves Bruce Le, Dragon Lee and Bolo Yueng.Also of note there are some admittedly hilarious scenes on offer including an entirely gratuitous sequence featuring a group of naked girls on a beach, and in another set of scenes, a bunch of chubby bronze warriors who just can't seem to catch on that chomping on certain poisonous plants isn't conducive to one's good health(!!!)Despite the above high points, it does have to be said that the film is actually rather mundane in it's execution however and that the numerous fights (which account for the majority of the films running time) do actually become somewhat tiresome after a while. Nonetheless, as I previously said, credit where credit's due – for sheer stupidity of plot, this is something of a classic!

HA HA HA!!! Man, I wish they could move that gas mask or take those 70s shades off. Is that Bruce Lee times three? This movie definitely was shoddily done, but the dubbing is kooky and the story is hilarious. At times, I think there were four Bruces. There is so much to say during the beach scene seeing two Bruce wannabes sporting speedos and one of them warning him to stay away from the naked babes on the beach and that they'll "eat you alive". WHY are they avoiding the women? Of course, throw in gratuitous nudity to attract attention. The kung fu isn't up to Shaw Bros. level, but it's decent. Dragon Lee is the best one as Bruce number one and swipes at his nose so often, you'd think he did lines in between takes. The scientist guy is played by guy who was head boss ("What I like, I get. And I want that restaurant!!!) in Way of the Dragon. Head Ham award gose to the evil drug lord who you have to credit him for being a big thinker. Not only does he want to be top drug lord, but be impressed by his "We will rule the world" speech. This is far from being good in quality, but a lot of fights, very kooky premise, and high in kampiness value makes Clones a fun one to watch.