Silver Dragon Ninja (1986)

Thanks for the memories!

Highly Overrated But Still Good

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

The acting in this movie is really good.

It's cut and paste ninja film time again! This time, the white ninjas are up against the black ninjas for reasons explained in the first five minutes in a conversation so badly written, it didn't just damage my brain, but actually went back in time and damaged the genetic code for the last hundred years of my family's existence. Basically, Silver Dragon, head of the White Ninjas, is in Hong Kong to track down Roger Komsky, head of the Black Ninjas. That's the 'ninja' part of the film, except that one of the white ninjas was a black guy, making him literally a black ninja, so I can understand how everyone looked really confused when Silver Dragon started talking about killing all black ninjas. By this point (five minutes into the film) everything but the basic animal instinct of holding my sphincter shut was all that remained of me as a sentient being. The non-ninja part of the film (basically an old film intercut with the ninja stuff) involves Alex Ho, a cop out to get a gun runner, who's too handy with his fists and gun and ends up quitting the force and going solo (with a baseball bat), causing all sorts of trouble for Mo, the gun runner. Jane, another cop, goes undercover and ends up as Mo's squeeze, while yet another cop tries to get Mo using the proper procedures. Jane's part is doubly confusing as she tries to put the moves on Mo once, then gets the brush off, then tries again but luckily he couldn't remember the first time so that worked out for her! Still didn't get why she was all smoochy one minute then looking terrified in the bedroom the next minute. Ho's a good character as he gets more increasingly mental as the film goes on, basically smashing everyone's head in with a baseball bat, shooting people up and near the end, getting loaded up with enough dynamite to destroy half of Hong Kong. Silver Ninja Dragon triumphs as the non-ninja story is well action packed, and only a few minutes pass before people start shooting or beating each other. There's a slight lack of insanity to most of the proceedings (maybe due to Godfrey Ho not being involved) but plenty of action, and things to get more bizarre towards the end. There's a trial held in an underground car park, a woman murdered and hung upside down, painted various colours, and a post-death speech by one of the baddies. Also, people have always speculated about the break up of Pink Floyd and subsequent lack of quality after Roger Waters left. Now, most folks reckon that it was due to animosity between Waters and Gilmour, and Gilmour's slightly lame attempts to emulate the classic Floyd sound, but here I am to clear things up. The answer is this: Pink Floyd were making far too much by way of royalties from these Hong Kong ninja films to even care what their records sounded like any more. In Silver Dragon Ninja you can hear 'Sheep' and 'A Saucerful of Secrets' played out. Why bother trying when they must have been raking in millions from these ninja flicks?

An uncredited, Paulo Torcha headlines in this typically daft but fun Filmark International cut & paste job as Silver Dragon; Interpol agent, ninja and judging by his headband, a man with Mitsubishi sponsorship to(!) Anyway, Jerry and his ninja buddy (who only appears in two scenes in the entire movie!) are out to bring down the evil black ninja organisation which is run by Roger Kimsky, a man who has a curious propensity for giving rousing speeches to his decidedly gormless ninja cronies when he's not dipping his toes in the gun running trade. Meanwhile, in a separate story i.e. a completely different movie into which the ninja scenes are edited, Alex Ho, a tough cop who doesn't play by the rules, is trying to bring down crime lord, Mark. Alex's methods prove to be a little heavy handed however and subsequently get him into some deep shi- erm, trouble with his superior, Morrison, who it later transpires is on Mark's payroll....erm, OK..... Mightily peeved at his reprimanding, Alex subsequently quits the force but is still targeted by Mark's goons who go on to blow up his kid and rape and murder his wife! Meanwhile, Jerry, a fellow officer and Alex's friend, sends in Jane, an undercover police woman to ingratiate herself with Mark in order to expose his criminal dealings.Matters reach a somewhat less than thrilling climax in a make shift court room set up outside the toilets in a multistory car park(!), when an enraged Alex holds Mark hostage and threatens to blow himself and his arch enemy sky high. But what of Silver Dragon you might ask?Well, in a even more hilarious finale, Silver Dragon's friend seems to have a psychic premonition that his pal is in trouble so goes to his aid.......and is promptly killed within about ten seconds! Fear not, our main hero fares somewhat better and eventually manages to defeat Roger, his arch nemesis. But wait! this isn't quite the end, for in one final, demented scene, Roger rises from death to utter one last rousing speech, complete with maniacal laughter no less! Yes indeed, this is about as demented as it sounds and for fellow trash movie lovers, will prove all the more memorable for it.

While wonderful in it's camp value, this movie is terrible. It appears that somebody with a video camera sat down and made a simple movie about some Hong Kong cops and their struggles against Filipino gun smugglers and then found it was about 30 minutes shorter than they wanted. But they didn't want to get the actors back together so they just shot a whole bunch of footage of ninja running, a few moments of the silver dragon ninja answering the phone and two book-ending sequences involving the silver dragon ninja which have nothing to do with the remainder of the film. It's just bizarre. worth watching, but not sober.

As a Ninja movie of the classic 80s type this really stands out as being one of the most comical, poorly dubbed and hilariously acted martial 'arts' romps you could ever wish to witness. Anyone who hates this film must be an idiot or had their sense of humour horrifically or surgically impaired. Silver Dragon answers the phone by saying "Hello, Silver Dragon here" for god's sake and the opening sequence has got to be one of my faves of all ninja movies. The story is confused, the actors far more so...it's a real treat taken with a six pack, some mates and 12 to 24 poppadoms and assorted chutneys.