Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker (1991)

Really Surprised!

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Actress is magnificent and exudes a hypnotic screen presence in this affecting drama.

I am so happy to be done with this stupid neverending film series. It was nice enough to give me a movie that wasn't that awful. Yeah, that's still not saying much. Anyway, this is the second movie in a row to be its own thing and not related to the other movies. Well, there are some appearances by characters with the same names. I don't care, because it's still unrelated. I could have sworn that I saw a brief glimpse of this movie as a kid. I remember watching a movie where a teddy bear's eye glowed and then it grew claws. I guess that was some other killer toy movie.Mickey Rooney was one of the people who personally protested against the original film as it was picketed in theaters. Now, he's actually in one of the later movies himself and there's even a scene where he dresses as Santa! I guess he either changed his mind or wanted more money. This movie features a toy shop called Petto's that gives out killer toys. The movie's most outrageous part is by far the ending. The ending reveals that the villain was Pia Petto, who was a robot the whole time! He looks like Matthew Broderick as Inspector Gadget. All I care is that I am never watching another one of these movies again. Merry Christmas! *1/2

"Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker" is the final contiguous entry of the "Silent Night, Deadly Night" series, and like Part 4, it takes yet another departure from the original storyline. This time, it's concerned with a young boy who witnesses the death of his father at the hands of a mysterious toy that appears on their doorstep during Christmastime; a local toyshop seems to be to blame.Needless to say, the film is silly, and was quite obviously inspired by "Halloween III: Season of the Witch" and "Puppetmaster" in equal measure. As a direct-to-video feature, it has a similarly cheap look to it that the previous installments had, with fairly uninspired cinematography. There are some ridiculous and fun, hokey visuals, however, especially in regard to the killer toys, as well as the bonkers finale.Narratively speaking, it's reasonably well-written and boasts a handful of clever plot turns that, though certainly unspectacular, generate a bit of interest. Another unusual aspect of the film is its inclusion of characters from the previous sequel, almost as though the intent were to sculpt a "Silent Night, Deadly Night" film universe, had any additional sequels panned out. It's a bit strange but does thread some continuity between it and Part 4 (which itself is absolutely insane for a handful of other reasons). The lead child actor, William Thorne, plays the traumatized Derek rather well, and Jane Higgison is likable as his mother. Neith Hunter, the lead from the former sequel, makes a welcome appearance as the mother's friend, as does Brian Yuzna's son as Lonnie (also carried over from the previous film), who receives a pair of rocket-powered rollerblades. Mickey Rooney also has a major part as the elderly wacky toyshop proprietor.In the end, "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker" is every bit the bad movie that most expect it to be, but as far as bad movies go, it offers enough absurd special effects and amusing twists to make for a fun holiday viewing. Part 4 still outranks it in weirdness, but "The Toymaker" is no less utterly insane. Highlights include a drawn-out sex scene in which a macho man gets his rear-end penetrated by the fingers of an animated toy hand (and likes it) whilst having sex with the babysitter. 5/10.

The original notorious holiday slasher Silent Night, Deadly Night was audacious and thoughtful enough to merit its eventual status as a twisted classic of sorts, but the follow-up installments in this shockingly lengthy franchise have either been awe-inspiring in their awfulness or had nothing to do with the original film. This fifth (and, let's hope, final) outing straddles the line of both of those categories, and indeed the only resemblance The Toymaker bears to the first SN, DN is that the alleged horror takes place at Christmas time.Even keeping in mind the diminished expectations anyone familiar with the entire franchise is bound to have going in to this installment, this is a uniformly stupid movie, and thanks to the tedious pace and relentlessly silly effects, this clunker practically dares the viewer to make it to the end, and provides very little pay-off for the brave souls who do.Billy, the axe-wielding Santa who launched the series, is a distant memory here, and the action is instead centered around the malevolent titular Toymaker, who specializes in crafting homicidal toys. That gimmick is relied upon to carry this entire film, which would be fine if the deeds of the murderous playthings were well-orchestrated. But right from the first attack, during which a lethal Santa ball wraps its tentacle-like arms around the neck of an unsuspecting dad, the cheesy nature of Screaming Mad George's bargain basement FX elicit more laughs than scares, and when the victim ultimately meets his demise because he knocks over a conveniently placed fireplace poker and impales his own skull onto it, we aren't given any real indication that the deadly toys are actually effective in their intended tasks.Things continually get worse from there, and by the time a young boy is put into the hospital because of an accident caused by rocket-charged roller blades, it's well assured that the killer toy concept at play here is going to fall well short of the comparatively engaging material explored in the Puppet Master series.The plot, such as it is, centers around the wife and son of the previously mentioned impalee as they struggle to deal with dad's tragic demise. However, when a boyfriend from mom's past shows up unexpectedly, and her reaction to his re-appearance is having groping, unbridled sex with him in the conveniently deserted parking garage of her office building (a mere couple of weeks after her husband's been put in the ground, mind you), we sort of lose track of her as the grieving widow we're set up to root for.The Toymaker also apparently has a son, and the one twist the film attempts to throw into the works is pretty much telegraphed the moment these two appear on screen together. Of course, this happens about five minutes into the movie, which probably isn't the optimal time to squander the one surprise in store for the audience. I'm sure the film-makers thought they were being clever by naming these characters Petto and Pino, but their monikers only serve to make the true nature of their relationship even more patently obvious, so the "shocking" climactic reveal of the "hidden" truth lands with the same resounding thud the rest of the film does.If any part of the movie sticks with you after the credits roll, it's bound to be the onslaught of a toy army that targets an amorous babysitter and her tighty-whitey-wearing horndog boyfriend while the two are canoodling. A vague attempt is made here to insert some humor into the proceedings, and the prodding fingers of a plastic animatronic arm elicit a few polite chuckles, but since this is a movie that has already provided its fair share of unintentional laughs at this point, it's ultimately a bad call to pile on more comedy when at least a modicum of the gore and horror implied by this film's inclusion in the SN, DN franchise would have been a more welcome presence. Thankfully, the one decent splatter effect in The Toymaker arrives soon after, and since it's really the only piece of actual brutality in the film, it does have an admittedly potent impact.The climax, if you can stomach this movie long enough to make it there, features an anatomically barren cyborg dry-humping our main heroine while squealing, "Mommy, I love you!" So, whatever else I say about Silent Night, Deadly Night 5, at least it has that going for it. Whether or not you feel that indelible image is worth 85 minutes of your life is pretty much your call.

Another in-name-only sequel, this time with a "Pinocchio" theme about a toy maker (Mickey Rooney) and his son creating toys that kill people. Interesting premise marred by amateurish performances. Technically well-made, though. My evaluation: ** out of ****.