Mega Shark vs. Kolossus (2015)

Touches You

Great Film overall

This movie was so-so. It had it's moments, but wasn't the greatest.

Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

You could try and rate this movie by realism, acting prowess of the cast, and the excellence of the story. But that's like trying to rate the Shawshank Redemption by the amount of comedy, and its suitableness for kids.This is a mega-monster parody. It's the kind of movie you watch with your friends while laughing and generally having a good time. And its excellent at that. The movie is chock full of action sequences, special effects and interesting twists that keep your attention. At the same time, it doesn't make the mistake of taking itself too seriously with the drama and art. The acting is not great, but good enough to prevent you from gouging your eyes out. The characters are likable clichés from all of your favourite movies. And the story makes sense almost half of the time.You don't HAVE to see this movie. But if you're looking for something fun to watch that's not too heavy; this is as good a choice as any.

Off the coast of Brazil, a conflict erupts between the United States and Russia. A submarine, ship and weird helicopter are involved. Unfortunately, another "Mega Shark" is released. The characters thought they'd seen the last of them over a year ago, in "Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark" (2014), the best of the four stories in this series, so far. Baseball-capped Ernest Thomas (as Admiral Titus Jackson) is peeved. Elsewhere, a giant robot called "Kolossus" is released. A relic from the US/USSR Cold War, "Kolossus" is in a nasty mood. For some undecipherable reason, the two monsters meet. Maybe they want to have sex - it's difficult to tell...Mr. Thomas makes a wise exit from this disconnected disaster. He was likewise smart as "Raj" on the old TV sitcom "What's Happening!!" Splitting the leading female star duties are spectacled commander Illeana Douglas (as Alison Gray) and tightly-attired agent Amy Rider (as Moira King). Mr. Thomas is the granddaughter of golden age Hollywood actor Melvyn Douglas. Blond Brody Hutzler (as Joshua Dane) has a little fun near the end. Apparently, director Christopher Ray and the crew were given a string of Christmas tree bulbs to use for lighting. The story makes very little sense and is almost impossible to watch with any attention.** Mega Shark vs Kolossus (2015-05-16) Christopher Ray ~ Illeana Douglas, Amy Rider, Ernest Thomas, Brody Hutzler

The Mega Shark series is fantastic! The films throw logic as high in the air as the Mega Shark leaps (and this film's shark leaps the highest of all!), but who cares, as therein lies the guilty pleasure of these crazy movies, and Mega Shark vs. Kolossus is no exception as it pushes the crazy level to the max. As ever, the Mega Shark makes its entrance with the quickest of introductions before rapidly getting down to its national monument smashing and ship-devouring ways. However, this time the mad megalodon must face an adversary who is a cross between a giant Ultra Man and Iron Maiden's lovable mascot, Eddie-the Head (and what is not to love in that pairing?). OK, so maybe the two titans pretty much act like they are in two separate films for most of the action, but it is still a cheese-laden marvel when they do come together in WWE-style combat. Add a David Beckham look-alike tech-philanthropist, a mighty CIA agent, a ship's bridge that could be the interior of a bus, a very game and knowingly irreverent Illeana Douglas, plus battleships being swatted hither and thither by the titular Mega Shark, and you have another perfect Saturday night schlock fest that is that is everything you could hope for from a Mega Shark that apparently has the ability to destroy all of humanity (I'm still not fully sure how sharks can do that, even megasharks, but these films assure us that they can so that is good enough for me).

If you're not down with SyFy Channel creature features, just save us both some grief and skip this review. If, however, you love the bargain basement Godzilla-style spectacle of The Asylum's Mega Shark series the way I do, rest assured that Mega Shark Vs. Kolossus will leave you giddy. It's a fun and fast-paced affair involving an even bigger, smarter, meaner prehistoric shark and an out-of-control Cold War robot on a collision course with one another. The cast all has a blast playing one ludicrous scene after another with deadly earnestness, the monsters are both well-rendered and imbued with more personality than they have any right to have on this budget, and the whole thing feels like a loving throwback to the Japanese monster movies I used to watch on Saturday afternoons as a child. Sure, the fights are too brief and the science is laughable. But what the film lacks in credibility and budget, it more than makes up for in energy and enthusiasm. Plus, the curvy cuties of Team Unicorn are on-hand to amp up the eye candy quotient. In all, a highly satisfying piece of direct-to-video schlock.