Little Red Riding Hood (2015)

Simply Perfect

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

It's not anything like the fairytale. I admit this film was terrible and lacked a story, badly edited and some strangeness that doesn't make sense. It wasn't really a film but a play done by a few people on low budget. Even though it was a bad film, it was quite entertaining with some beautiful scenes of the forest and castle. We have Red Riding Hood that wanders alone through a forest, on the way to visit her sick gran. She's warned not to go further into the forest by an undead knight who lives inside the trees. She's scared of him and rans through the forest, but encounters a werewolf, who chases her to the castle. Once she's inside, werewolf is afraid to go near it. In the castle, we're wondering about the horned Master who keeps prisoners, and only grunts. There are two sirens, a monster and a princess who are the Masters creatures. The princess lures a warrior knight into the castle. Others have been lured there over many years, centuries, and once they're inside, they can never escape because the castle is shielded by magical electricity. The scene flashes to modern times where a photographer explores the beautiful forest and uses her camera to make a vlog. The monster siren destroyed her car and the girl with camera is lost and all alone. She comes to a modern looking castle where Master also rules and keeps shielded. Scenes of Red Riding Hood and warrior exploring the castle are nice and the ideas of the film are overall weird. It wasn't a crap film. I've seen worse crap from Hollywood. It was just very B movie.

This movie is quite useful as a replacement for water-boarding, though it might be considered too cruel by Amnesty International.The story is about a girl who stumbles into a castle, home of a creepy monster with probably bad intentions, although these aren't really explained. Then a knight appears and is also lured into the castle. In between, there are shots of a modern-day girl walking around with a camera.Acting, if any, seems very primitive. Voices are ridiculously dubbed over. Music is repetitive.However, despite the fact that this movie is total crap, has no storyline, bad acting and annoying music, it does have some (maybe 2 or 3) good things going for it: boobs!Then again, with the amount of free nudity on the internet nowadays, those arguments really aren't valid enough to justify viewing this movie.Only watch when you're really high or feeling very miserable and need something to match your mood.Otherwise, stay far, far away!

I could attempt to write a long winded review. However, in theses busy times I will keep this review succinct. You know when your driving along and you see animal that's been hit by a Mack Truck. You can't help but look at it muttering under your breath "what on earth was that". Well, that pretty much sums up this movie. The Costumes are horrendous the special effects look like they came from a store room that's been locked up since 1985. Actually, this movie is so bad its almost ingenious. The story line is convoluted and makes no real sense. This is sure to become a cult classic someday, somewhere. This, parents is the dangers when you give your kids a digicam and adobe after effects.

So the movie has a woman in red riding hood, trying to take medicine to her grandma. And there's a guy in a werewolf costume, which I guess is like a Big Bad Wolf. So in that, I guess the film is faithful to the original Grimm Brother's fairy tale it says it's based on.The bits about a seductive laundress, an evil leader monster with a crown of fingers, some eyeless monster, magical force fields, and a rocking estate in the forests of modern day California digress a bit from the source material.Here's the thing though, it's all so bad and incoherent it's fun.There are flashbacks to scenes we saw less than 15 minutes earlier. And those flashbacks repeat some shots for a second time. There's sound effects recycled from the director's earlier film "The Dead the Damned and the Darkness" (also recommended for fans of bad horror films). The CGI had me praying for a software watermark to complete the cheesiness.But the cast seems to really give it their all. The costumes exist in a weird limbo between "off the shelf from a Halloween store" and "actually quite good". And the locations threaten to steal every scene they're in (but you can blame that partly on my love for medieval style castles and modern medieval-themed mansions).There's so much more I want to tell you, but I have to let you discover some things on your own. Does Red Riding Hood get the medicine to her mother? Are breast implants used by monsters in the 14th century? Will the Power Rangers come looking for their foam-rubber sword being wielded by the knight? Does the film tack on an unexplained sub-plot about a girl in the modern day at a different location in order to pad the run time after the director realized he needed another 20 minutes or so? And why is the knight's voice so manly? So many mysteries! I wouldn't recommend watching this by yourself, but only because this kind of comedy is better shared. I also wouldn't recommend it for kids, or people who take bad cinema seriously (as a wise man once said "repeat to yourself, 'it's just a show. I should really just relax'."), and there's a brief scene of "light" sexual assault that may be too much for some*. But if you've got some friends, some pizza, and a suitable amount of brain damage (or brain damaging substances), then give it a go.Recommended for: fans of "Birdemic 1" ("before James Nguyen sold out"), fans of Rene Perez' other films, movie hecklers, and fans of the theatrical release of "Hercules in New York".(*all joking aside, I only mention this because I don't want someone thinking this will be fun based on my review, and then they have an emotional trigger set off. If you're on the fence, the scene is meant less as a drawn out exercise in horror-drama and (I'm pretty sure) more as a weak excuse to show a boob.)