Clash of the Empires (2012)

Very best movie i ever watch

So much average

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

This may have been the first mockbuster I intentionally watched, having only recently become acquainted with the idea of them. When I found out this film was originally titled Age of the Hobbits, until being sued for stealing Tolkien's term, I knew I had to watch it. However, it is not a rip-off of the Hobbit film(s), but rather a anthropologically-based film with a pitch of fantasy that to some degree pays homage to the plot of the Lord of the Rings. There is even a part where the hobbits mourn the death of a hobbit named Gam-Gee who was a gardener. The movie stars many Thai people, I believe, of various heights, plus Chris Judge (Af. American), Bai Ling (Chinese), and Antonis Greco (?). The casting director from The Last Airbender could take an example from this movie. Sadly, though, all of the little people had dubbed voices. Why? Anyway, the synopsis at the top of the movie page, which refers to an enchanted dagger, is inaccurate and should be ignored in place of the one a have written below. This review contains SPOILERS. The film is about a family of 4 Homo florensiensis/Hobbits/halflings/tree-men/half-men: a husband, a wife, a son, and a daughter (an amalgam of Biblo/Frodo/Sam/Merry/Pippin). Their village/the Shire is attacked by cannibals/orcs/rock-men and Black Riders/dragon-riders. Many of the Hobbits are captured and taken to Mordor/the rock-men's cave including the mother. The hobbit family goes after her while being pursued by the head dragon-rider/Witch King of Angmar who wants revenge of the hobbit son knocked out his lieutenant's eye with a thrown rock. The hobbits make is to the plains where they want to get the Homo sapiens/Men of Rohan/giants to help them save their people from the rock-men. They observe the men/giants ambush a rhinoceros/opliphaunt and the father distracts the beast and saves the hunting chief/Aragorn/Amthar's life. He brings the head-man/Theoden/king and asks to help them but the king only wants peace with the rock-men. The daughter offers to teach the humans horticulture and the father offers to teach the gathering but the humans are only hunters. The son offers to teach them how to make an atlatl/"helping stick", which he invented, but the king refuses even after seeing it work. The hunting chief/Aragorn/Amthar helps the hobbit family anyway and two of his hunters and one of the king's spear-maidens (whose family was killed by rock-men) join them (the three are a mix of Legolas/Gimli/Boromir/Eowyn). Along the way to Mordor, they face tentacle vines (Watcher in the Water), giant spiders (Shelob), the death of a party-member (Gandalf/Boromir) and lots of running (Three Hunters). Meanwhile, the mother (Bilbo/Frodo) and the other hobbits await getting eaten by the rock-men. In the caves, the mother meets a hobbit slave (Gollum) of the rock-men who has managed to survive being eaten for many years. Finally, the humans and hobbits arrive at the caves where they are attacked my dragons. Amthar (Faramir, this time) is poisoned and it is up to the daughter (Pippin) to save him. The father (Frodo), knowing time is limited, goes on his own to save his wife but the son (Sam) comes with him despite being told not to. As the hobbits begin to be sacrificed and eaten, Amthar saves the day by killing the head- woman/Sauron/witch-queen of the rock men, the father saves the mother from a pit, Gollum dies, and the others help the other hobbits escape. There is a final battle against the rest of the rock men and the dragon- riders (not without loss on the side of the heroes, yet again) and all seems hopeless. Yet, at the last, the king of the giants arrives (horn blowing and all) with the other hunters and there is a big battle with hobbits and humans on one side and rock-men and dragon riders on the other. The head dragon-rider (Witch-King) kills the king (Theoden) and after the heroes win, Amthar/Aragorn becomes king. The dragon- rider/Witch-King was still alive, secretly and almost kills the heroes but the son (Merry, this time) kills him just in time using a bow, which he had invented immediately after the battle, intending it to be a string instrument. In the end, the son and daughter stay with the giants and the parents lead the other hobbits home. Amthar calls to them and blesses them saying that he hopes their kind lasts for 10,000 years ...which is actually kind of sad considering that scientists don't have evidence for them living much later in time than the time in which this movie takes place. I think if you can look past the bad special effects and the bad acting you can appreciate this movie especially if you like LOTR or prehistoric peoples.

I hate to give such bad score for a film, but this is the typical idea that is better in a book. Each of the variables (Actors, effects, script, music, makeup, time, equipment, etc...) can transform the movie into a catastrophe (pretty much what's happen). I'm not saying that all aspects of this movie are awful, but in comparison with a international movie's standard... I could not give less. That is why I"m sorry, I try to understand all the good work and the good things that the movie have as well, but still seams an idea way too ambitious for what they have in hands. I like all kinds of movies, and I know that is too easy criticize a work that is already done. but seriously, there is a lot of things in the movie that are stupid and unnecessary.

Most of The Asylum movies are terrible, but I keep watching them because there is something compulsively entertaining in how bad they are that you have to keep watching. Lord of the Elves or Age of the Hobbits is not particularly good as a movie, but The Asylum have done far worse than this. The scenery is spectacular, some of the best of any movie to come out from The Asylum, and the camera work is at least orchestrated competently. Christopher Judge's resonant voice and Shakespeare-like delivery of lines makes for a nicely enigmatic performance. Bai Ling, as beguiling as she looks, is too subdued however, and the rest of the cast are significantly hindered by the truly cheesy dubbing. The dubbing also makes the dialogue awkward and not very easy to understand. The special effects are a mixed bag, the giant spiders and lizards look good and are well above average for The Asylum but the flying lizard-dragons and enormous rhino are less good, the rhino actually was rendered very badly. The story is thinly structured and unexciting, never really getting a chance to properly open up. The choreography for the fight sequences is lacking in tightness and the performing of it likewise. The music is on the generic side, the characters are rather cardboard and never really developed enough to make us care for them and the direction shows a director not putting enough of his own style into the movie, coming across as rather flat and characterless instead. To conclude, could have been much worse and has the scenery and Judge's performance to thank for that, but while somewhat entertaining really rises above mediocre in my opinion. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Some movies defy reviews.Think "Zardoz." Think "Myra Breckinridge." Think of any time you've said, "What the hell planet is this movie from?" That's this movie.The gorgeous location shooting, along with the grand adventure narrative, give the impression hack filmmaking house The Asylum's goal here was to evoke a John Milius' "Conan the Barbarian"-type epic.What turned it to gold was the decision to populate the cast almost entirely with Thai midgets. And they fight giant spiders and battle cavemen who ride flying Komodo dragons. Because yeah. And all of this takes place, the beginning of the film instructs us, in "Indonesia, 12,000 years ago."Shoehorned into the story are some dude from "Stargate SG-1" and every-man's-Asian-girlfriend-nightmare Bai Ling, because the movie needed star power and Bai Ling probably needed the money for bail or booze.But they don't matter, because what this movie is really about is wildly overacting, violently gesticulating little people who have been dubbed, apparently, by the same people who dubbed all those "Godzilla" movies in the 1960s.Folks, they're WONDERFUL. They chew through the scenery, barking their lines and flailing their arms like Ewok Shatners.They turned what might have been an above-average adventure offering from The Asylum, like "Princess of Mars," into an astounding Munchkinland/Lord-of-the-Rings/tiny-chicks-in-the-box-from-"Mothra" mashup.It's pure movie crystal meth. You know it's poison. You know it's rotting your brain. But you just can't resist it.And despite the cavemen's obvious joke-store fang teeth, despite the second most poorly rendered digital woolly rhinoceros ever put on screen (the first being, of course, Zach Galifianakis), despite your wanting Bai Ling to just stop yapping and take her clothes off (she does neither), you'll watch it again. Then you'll rent it again. Then you'll buy the DVD. Then you'll start selling "Clash of the Empires" DVDs just to support your viewing habit.This is your brain. This is your brain on overacting Thai midgets. Any questions?