Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008)

SERIOUSLY. This is what the crap Hollywood still puts out?

Best movie ever!

A Major Disappointment

There's a more than satisfactory amount of boom-boom in the movie's trim running time.

The first three Sleepaway's weren't exactly great but this is just sad. The best thing about this movie is Isaac Hayes playing the chef, just like he did on South Park before he got all the wacky Scientology crap in his head. I could have done without the Sopranos "jokes". For a series that took pride in the silly ways that people got killed, they really dropped the ball in this one. The first death is an exact copy of the first death in the first movie. Weak. The rest just didn't seem like they would kill a person.What really sucked is that it was immediately obvious that the sheriff was either Jamie Kennedy or a woman, it was the worst disguise ever. Did I mention all the bad acting and things that don't make sense? Several times one of the guys says "Angela's back!". How can she be back if she was never at this camp? Just like any other part four, the only reason to watch this is if you have seen the first three.

For fans of the semi-infamous cheeseball slasher gem Sleepaway Camp who were perplexed why the creators of its two sequels (I refuse to count the unfinished slop bucket of footage that was later turned into a feature-length to bilk a few more bucks out of devotees) largely ignored their source material and handed over the franchise to Pamela Springsteen, a "proper" follow-up which re-teams the original director with a couple of returning cast members is a truly exciting prospect. Regrettably, though Return boasts a few bits of inspiration, this reunion is more irritating than exhilarating.The trip down memory lane here is by far the most enjoyable aspect of this misguided reprise, and even though the acting chops of the cast members who were present at Camp Arawak actually seem to have gotten worse in the last two decades, it's still fun to see Johnathan Tiersten (Ricky) and Paul DeAngelo (Ronnie) ham it up again. But that where-are-they-now? update isn't enough to build an entire movie around, and sadly little else about the film offers fans much to get excited about here.The biggest problem with Return is that it blatantly attempts to match the accidentally humorous approach of the previous Sleepaway Camp outings, which isn't something that can be willfully duplicated. The earlier SC's were enjoyable precisely because they were so endearingly dumb, but setting out to make a deliberately stupid movie, which we can only assume was the game-plan here based on the results, doesn't produce that same spark of quirky ineptness. The film tries way too hard to mimic the joyously cheap thrills of a mid-'80s slasher flick, but it is a pale imitation at best, and the evident self-awareness here simply doesn't gel with the spirit the film is desperately trying to conjure.While the references to the first Sleepaway Camp should be the main focus here, we're instead forced to endure the unbearable saga of a ridiculously unlikeable camper named Alan, who is teased and tormented mercilessly throughout the film and has a "secret place" in the woods where he cuddles with frogs and tells them all about his troubles. Alan's plight is probably supposed to generate our sympathy, but since he's constantly either whining or shrieking and is actually far more unpleasant, hostile, and aggressive than any of the one-dimensional teens who target him, we're sort of left to deduce that he pretty much deserves everything that happens to him. This blubbering sap is relentlessly exasperating, and his virtual omnipresence renders most of the movie nearly unwatchable. The impetus for his placement as the focal point of the plot is allegedly to lure us into believing that he is committing the murders to punish his transgressors for their sins, but even though the killer is concealed by a hooded sweatshirt, the first time we see the perpetrator it's completely obvious that the only way Alan could be under that cowl is if he had the supernatural ability to instantly lose about 150 pounds on command.A few decent gore spurts liven things up a bit, but there aren't nearly enough of them, and while there are dozens of potential victims on hand, the body count here is woefully paltry. The death scenes themselves strive to be grandiose and original, but most of them are so utterly impractical that they end up being silly. One kid meets his demise after a sharpened pole is thrust up through the floorboards of his cabin; the makeshift weapon misses him the first time, which prompts this obtuse lad to conjure the brilliant hypothesis: "Hey, that deadly spear almost impaled me! If I press my face up against that hole in the ground it came from, maybe I can see what's going on down there..." A few of the methods of dispatch require such intricate machinations and deft execution that they rival some of the torture devices in the Saw series. The boldest of them would take a least a couple of hours to orchestrate, but our killer is somehow able to rig these sophisticated death traps in a matter of seconds without anyone being the wiser.Granted, I know something like Return To Sleepaway Camp isn't supposed to inspire deep thinking. However, while I respect the ingenuity that went into, say, the bed of spikes murder, all I could think about when it happened was how long it would take for the killer to hammer what looks to be at least 100 nails through a bed frame to even set the contraption up. I was also fascinated that they had the foresight to predict that the intended victim would come back into the cabin alone despite leaving with a group of girls, and that not only would she immediately lay down on the bottom bunk in a perfect position for the killer to leap onto the overhead mattress and drive the spiked platform down upon her, she would also somehow fail to notice the black-clad lunatic perched up in the rafters about ten feet above her head.The telegraphed twist ending is so patently obvious that you'll have it figured out the first time the involved character is introduced, which unfortunately happens a few minutes into the movie. Still, if your driving force for seeing this is a fondness for the first film, the finale is a mirthful wink to the original that's worth sticking around for. You should also linger through the credits, since there's a fairly nifty final coda afterwards.Though I haven't praised too many aspects of Return To Sleepaway Camp, I don't want to leave the impression that it's entirely without its charms. I'm certainly not sorry I watched it, and while it's definitely the weakest of the quartet, the novelty value of the reprised characters is high enough to warrant a look for ardent fans of the series. Just try not to punch your television every time Alan comes on screen.

This has got to be one of the WORST horror movie I have ever seen in my life, and that is very rare coming from me. I've rated every horror movie I reviewed expect for this one. Alan was the most annoying fatass that got on my nerves. I just wanted to stop watching, but I wanted to see the rest of the movie since i've seen the first three movies. I can't believe it was the sheriff that was angela is the first place. Talk about being weak. I can't believe I watched the entire movie. I think my iq dropped. At least the second one was good, i wouldn't recommend the first or third movie. Trust me, you will thank me. the guy that came back from the first movie is really old and used up looking. Like he's been hitting the drugs hard.

I only recently saw the original Sleepaway Camp maybe half a year ago and overall was not very impressed. I can see why it's garnered such a vehement following --- it has all the required elements, down to an ending that truly is pretty freaking well-done in its depravity --- but it's at best a B-tier copycat to slashers of the era that had better actors and plots. SC was always kind of a local Summer Stock production set in Jersey...and that's not a total knock.That said, I have to admit that this 2008 (released) direct-to-video sequel by Hiltzik is a nice tongue-firmly-in-cheek constantly-winking in-joke. It's also somewhat of a genius move as it excuses the director from bringing any sort of commercial appeal to the outing at all. it's nothing more than a love letter to the fans who gave him a (sort of) career.Is that so wrong? Well, not really, if you know what you're getting yourself into.I wasn't expecting horror and didn't get it. What I did get was an almost chaotically paced hybrid of Porky's and a parody of the original Sleepaway Camp. It's so off-the-charts amateurish and intentionally bad at times that it's like a car crash...it's fascinating. One of the most original things Hiltzik does with this film is take absolutely nothing seriously except for the Legend of Sleepaway Camp.That means the head counselor, played by NY vet Vincent Pastore, can cut in bits and pieces of Sorpranos shtick when he's not winking at the camera (yo, can you believe I'm IN this s***?). It means the lead "protagonist" (ha!) can be the Most Annoying Fat A**hole Kid in History, and that the deaths can cross the line into rip-roaring teen exploitational torture porn. Deaths this sick can't possibly be taken seriously, and Hiltzik knows it.The casting of Michael Gibney for the role of Alan is interesting for its almost snuff-film like sadisticness. If you get off seeing a fat kid tormented to the point of hysteria, this one's for you. But then again, it's probably why he's portrayed as such an over-the-top dickweed. Angela (Felissa Rose) had it easy by comparison in the original.Occasionally Hiltzik will surprise you. Casting Kate Simses as Petey was a good move considering her uncanny resemblance to Rose, and the ending, though not terribly original, may somewhat surprise you in its sheer South Park-esque audacity.Just don't go in expecting a serious legitimate film, and you'll have a good time. Kinda.