Stonados (2013)

Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

I laughed when I first heard about this film, I knew right away I had to watch it. I don't know if Stonados was meant to be a ripoff or homage to Sharknado since there are so many connections that can be made between the two films, one big noticeable connection is the ending where a vehicle with explosives is driven into the tornado to destroy it. Ripoff or not this film is amusing like Sharknado though in my opinion Stonados is slightly better in overall quality.The idea of tornadoes of throwing large stones sounds interesting, but it sounds more interesting you add in the part where the stones explodes, that's where your expectations goes up even more.In the end I've enjoyed this film, it's fun tongue-in-cheek entertainment.

The SyFy folks are nothing if not predictable. All you have to do is look at the director's credits to see what you're in for here. And as to the writer of this nonsense, Rafael Jordan, he has absolutely no shame. He's got a couple dozen of these horrid movies to his credit. I presume someone is paying him to do it, but I can't imagine why.Tornadoes tossing boulders. OK. Well, I guess they had to make something, and this is actually no more insipid than Ragin' Cajun Redneck Gators or Chupacabra vs. the Alamo. Do we call this a job well done? If you were aiming to make a stupid movie, then absolutely yes.Kudos to all involved here. This movie is a mess and the makers just have to live with that.

'Stonados' are appearing near Boston, i.e. tornadoes which are throwing stones (or exploding ice cubes). A science teacher and a TV journalist try to warn the population and develop a theory what's causing the storm. Two kids are meanwhile not staying home as daddy told them, but they are going to a stadium that will have to be evacuated before the storm arrives.The advantage of a disaster movie where they don't have to save the whole planet, but just one city, is that it can tell the story in a more personal way. This is basically a movie for the whole family about a guy who saves his two teenage kids. Nothing extraordinary, but watchable. The funniest moment is when the woman accuses the weather guy of a poor forecast and is immediately killed by a falling stone - clearly a meteorologist's vengeful fantasy. Miranda Frigon from 'Primeval: New World' was the only actor I recognized, she plays the police officer helping the scientist and falling in love with the journalist. Besides, I noticed one cliché that recently appeared a lot in disaster movies: if a camera operator tries to get close to the Dangerous Thing for a good shot, he is always killed. What is it with camera operators that script writers don't like? And where is the trade union when you need them?

In Case you missed it on Syfy channel there's another kind of Storm front coming to DVD. No it's not the sequel to Sharknado It's just a stone's throw away from that. It's "STONADOS" . As the title suggests this time it's weird frozen boulders that are being hurled through the air to wreak havoc. Did I mention that these stone's were created in the atmosphere by volcanic dust and that when they land the sudden atmospheric pressure drop causes them to explode.Maybe it's because I'm from New York but much like the Denver Broncos I have to say it was a treat to see a New England city getting pummeled and destroyed for once. That's right when a sudden storm forms in the waters off the coast of South Boston, it not only sucks up a tour guide but Plymouth Rock itself! From then on this movie lands with some dark humor and some smashingly funny (I know, I went there but it fits) kills.As Maddy Randall (Miranda Frigon) is investigating the landing of Plymouth rock she calls her brother, science teacher and former storm chaser Joe Randall (Paul Johansson) There they meet up with Joe's old storm chasing partner. Now a cocky, self aggrandizing weatherman Lee Carlton ( Sebastian Spence) Who tells Joe of the weather phenomenon which he later copyrights as "Stonados". Of course mayhem ensues as not even Joe Randall's daughter and son believe flying stones are going to hit them and explode again. But Joe and Lee along with their old friend and lighthouse keeper Ben (plaed by William B. Davis, remember "Cancer Man" from the X Files?) are tracking the freak storms as they move into Boston Harbor and up the river Charles, of course Joe's son and daughter decide to go to a college football game. So it's up to the reunited storm chasers Joe, Lee and Joe's sister Officer Maddy to not only save his kids and then stop the deadly storms with an untested theory before the stonados grow in force and turn inland.Is this a great movie? Will it "Rock" (sorry did it again) the awards shows? Probably not, I mean flying, man eating sharks are a tough act to follow, BUT if like me you have a soft spot for films like "Sharktopus" and "Sharknado" you'll enjoy this disaster flick. It made me grateful to be hunkered down inside with just snow and polar vortex's outside. Therefore I give it three flying boulders out of five. This storm-front is predicted to hit the DVD shelves on January 28th so duck, cover and enjoy!