Half a Loaf of Kung Fu (1985)

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

The film starts off well enough with the spoofy opening titles, where Chan adopts a number of famous roles – such as Zatoichi – and mercilessly takes the mick with them. From there on, it's pretty much typical comedy kung-fu nonsense for an hour; most of it tests the patience, but some of it is funny. This is certainly a fast paced movie with numerous characters; Chan is a kid who ends up impersonating the Whip Hero, then there are lots of different groups of bad guys who end up getting involved with him. There's an odious beggar, an evil witch, and guys with moustaches and long hair which usually turns out to be fake. Add in some kick-ass femme fatales and an old DRUNKEN MASTER style teacher with some killer moves, and you have a generic but fun outing.The film definitely improves in the final half hour, in which a cargo of treasure is ambushed by all the bandits at once. Non-stop kung fu takes place until the very end of the film, with decent fighting and comedy in between to make it more entertaining – like Chan trying to learn new moves whilst being beaten pretty bad. The film has a weird sense of humour, no doubting that; there's a dream where Chan turns into Popeye (yep, the music is here again) and he does stuff like throw eggs at the bad guys to repel them. The ending is pretty violent with broken arms and necks. The varied characters and their mannerisms always entertain. The dubbing is the same as that in most of Chan's films from this era, annoying but sometimes funny with it. Nothing special, but pretty good for one of Jackie's '70s movies.

After viewing this movie, which was purchased for six bucks, I'm really not sure what to say. There were times where I felt like turning it off, but there must have been some subliminal messages telling me not to. I'm still shocked I watched the whole thing. The fight scenes are ok, they get better as the movie progresses, the plot/script on the other hand...oh man. I think they just made it as they went along and as they were filming random people were like "hey can I have a part?" and the director was like "sure, you are now Man with Scythe, and your motivation is that Jackie Chan killed your son and know you want to kill him, so you are just gonna be walking around and happen to meet Jackie who has just completed his training where he learned all but three of his techniques from reading a book." All in all I think everyone should see this movie...once.

"Jackie Chan plays the part of Jiang, an orphan who is neither good in the literary nor the martial arts. Nevertheless, he's a happy-go-lucky fellow with an amiable personality. Saintly beggar Mao, who was a Kung Fu Master, is impressed by Jiang's earnest demeanor and takes Jiang in as a student. Liang joins the Sern Chuan Bodyguards, who have been entrusted with the task of escorting the priceless Evergreen Jade to safekeeping. Outnumbered by an army of ruthless highwaymen, the Sern Chuan sustain heavy losses during their long and grueling journey. Undaunted, Jiang refuses to admit defeat, and with only the spirit of Mao to guide him, singlehandedly defeats the enemy horde."I don't blame Jackie Chan for finding a new contract after this movie. In the movie, his name was misspelled as 'Jacky Chan'.Best Quote: "It's my Kung Fu. It's no good for anything, except laughs."Worst Quote: "If I'm lying to you, then I'm a SOB." Best New Fighting Technique Introduced: the Concubine

Aside from the presence of Chan, this film has almost nothing of merit. Even if Chan wasn't in it, it wouldn't make much difference - it's just one of those typical "period" kung fu movies like the ones that play on late-night television. Chan is pretty much wasted - although he shows talent, the director refuses to really shot it, until the climax - and even then, the director restrains him somewhat. I'm shocked that Chan himself doesn't seem to think this movie is bad.