Skeleton Man (2004)

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

Boring

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

I got this movie as part of a "Horror" pack at the grocery store. This is the worst horror movie, but the greatest comedy of all time. It is one of those movies that could have been made in your high school film class, only the high school version would be better. It has one or two decent actors in it, but they can't save a film like this! Basically, a skeleton rides a horse through the woods and attacks people for no reason(though possibly he wants revenge or to protect the burial grounds?) and wears a Wal-Mart costume and trash bag. He carries a broadsword, which apparently Native Americans bought from Crusaders in Europe. The Special Forces team sent to stop him looks more like the front of an L.L. Bean or Abercrombie catalog. Apparently, SEALS and Delta Force use 100 lbs. cheerleaders with long hair for these dangerous missions. The Indian skeleton man warps around with bad graphics, and then ends up killing poor guys in a power station. Finally, they blow him up, even though thousands of bullets couldn't stop him nor explosives for the whole film. He even brought down a chopper with a bow and arrow!!! LOL. This is one of those movies you love to hate. It makes me laugh every time I even think of it. The budget must have been about $50 and a free meal at Denny's to sign on for this project.

A team of US Special Forces is picked off by a mysterious man on horseback. Another team (lead by Michael Rooker) goes in to rescue them, and after being told more by a blind Indian, face the same man. But this is no ordinary person... can he be stopped by mere bullets?Before this film began, I decided to look up a few reviews to see what I was getting myself into. Universally, this film is given about the lowest rating of any movie I have ever seen. While I daresay it's not as bad as "Nine Lives" or "Hell's Threshold", it surely does go from "this has potential" to "what the heck" in record time.The potential is obvious: a film starring Michael Rooker, known for such great genre films as "Slither" and "Henry". Plenty of impalements here, too, as well as explosions and beheadings. You would think the gore alone might sell this picture (heck, it works for Lamberto Bava).But the fact is that this film has two major problems. One, it's excessively boring. You can only show so many firefights before I get sleepy, and you can only have the soldiers run over the same ground again and again so often. The plot amounts to nothing more than this: man on horseback appears, gets shot at, disappears. Repeat.And second, it makes absolutely no sense. Why are military men in a forest in the first place? What is the origin of the Skeleton Man? What are his motives? What does any of this have to do with the nearby chemical plant? The more you think about it, the more you realize that the writer put no effort whatsoever into creating a coherent story.Do yourself a big favor and just stay the heck away from this one. I have a copy because it appears in a multi-pack. I suppose in this case, I could say it was free, but I'm tempted to say it's not even worth being free... I feel like the creators owe me something for my emotional and mental distress. For a similar, but better, plot, watch "Predator".

I felt horror when I saw this movie. I was horrified to see how bad a movie can actually get! Aside from the dumbest story line and stupid characters (An angry guy wearing a Halloween skeleton mask possessing super powers like one-shot-kill-a-helicopter-with-a-bow, riding a horse or horses using a SWORD!!! as a weapon that kills every one he sees, an undercover for an unknown reason delta force team hiking in the forest and some unlucky victims for the "Skeleton Man") one of the things that got on my nerves the most in this movie was the music. Or to be precise the music that plays when the "Skeleton Man" is trying to kill or killing someone. That track is number one in my Worst Tracks Ever List, partially because its in that movie, partially because it doesn't fit the scene of horrible murder by a monster thing, but mostly because its so irritating!!! I wanted to throw my TV out the window every time "Skeleton Man" killed someone. The movie looks like either the director is 7 years old or they actually tried to make it that bad (I think that even with a bigger budget a lot bigger it would still suck). Before I saw this movie I have seen only one movie with Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers 1997) and thought that (since I liked that movie) he was a good actor, but when I have seen this movie (Skeleton Man) my opinion changed drastically (Of course it changed even more when I saw Starship Troopers 3 Marauder). The bottom line this movie SUCKS D**K. But I do recommend to watch it since its really funny watching a SO BAD movie.

SKELETON MAN was okay for the first 5 minutes but as soon as the so-called "Special Force Agents" hit the screen, it went down hill faster than a fat kid on a sled.The opening makes us think we might have a corny, yet fun, horror flick on our hands but no...the film makers ruin any hope of that when the "Special Force Agents" show up. I wish the screenwriter took a different route and had the "Skeleton Man" chase down some dim witted teenagers until one of them finally gets the upper hand. Instead, the "Skeleton Man" chases down some dim witted "Special Force Agents" and offs them until their Captain finally gets the upper hand.I know the whole "stalking of dim witted teenagers by a killer" thing as been done before but it would of been more suited for a movie like this.When the "Skeleton Man" finally does meet his "so called" demise, in a building that blows up, the Captain of the "Special Force Agents" is asked the following by a police officer outside of the building: "What the hell happened in there?" My answer to that question: "Who the hell cares?"