The Teasers (1975)

Pretty Good

Don't listen to the Hype. It's awful

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

This is one of those movies that are clearly first class trash in a very bad and a very "good" way. It was made in the same year I was born, and unfortunately left an impact crater on my mind about thirteen +/- years later. Funny thing is, I never knew how deep this crater was until I saw it again forty years later with a few friends and a lot of beer.It is telling that I did NOT remember how bad the plot, the comedy part, the music and the acting was (with the exception of Gloria Guida who's just playing herself), but everything else. And it is some weird trash, I mean, an Italian sex comedy from the 70s – how much farer can you go? Watching this movie again was like watching something from another universe far, far away. It was so intense, so mind melting, it caused such a massive flashback, that I'm sitting here now an trying to write a review. For just this movie. But give me a minute to think about it …Everything makes a lot of sense if you assume that Loredana (a name I've never heard again btw) is a young, sexy and utterly sociopathic girl with no remorse and that the whole movie is following closely her point of view. Seriously. For sociopaths a lot of stuff we normal people do and say just looks pretty ridicules, just like a very bad comedy. She's manipulating the guys around her from the very beginning and obviously having a lot of fun doing it. She's playing the nice, naive girl but behind her beautiful blue eyes hides the dark coldness of a massive black hole: her ego. Which is making her think that she's the lonely center of this whole, bizarre thing called "life". Everything she says and does serves her only goal to get satisfied in one or another way - the world has to kneel before her greatness. At the end one of her "toys" (the "American" guy) gets almost killed in some race with another "toy" and when she gets it told her only response is: "Is he dead?", with a very slight, very disturbing tone in her voice. At least in the German subbed version.And on top of this: I strongly believe the writer and especially the director knew pretty well what they were doing. No, I did not take drugs while watching it … well, besides alcohol and uhm, some vegetables. That doesn't count. :-)If you never saw this "master piece", don't give it a try. No, don't even think about it. I'm damned to have watched it with the innocent eyes of a thirteen year old boy and it did harm my life after-wards. I should have listened to my parents, they were right: Do not touch the TV in the late night.What glorious times. What a shame. What a shock.

I saw this movie in Italian with Italian subtitles for the deaf (long story), and Gloria Guida and her female co-stars like Ilona "Ciccalona" Staller stripped off so regularly that I was having trouble concentrating on the subtitles so I probably missed a few plot points. The title roughly translates to "The High School Student" or "The High School Co-ed", but, unlike in American films of its ilk, no one in this film is remotely believable as a high school student. One of the "boys", for instance, is played by one of those goofy, rubber-faced Italian comedians who looks like he's about thirty five and acts like he's about eight (although given Guida's impossibly short mini-skirts and perpetually uncrossed legs, it's possible he and the other guys flunked a few years, unable to concentrate on their studies). There were a number of movies like this in the 1970's featuring pretty much the same cast, but they all basically fall into two categories--the ones where Edwige Fenech (or sometimes Carrol Baker) plays a sexy female TEACHER who drives all the male students and faculty crazy, and the ones where Gloria Guida (or sometimes Lili Karati) plays a sexy female STUDENT who drives all the male students and faculty crazy. In truth the two actresses were not that far apart in age, but Fenech had the more busty mature-looking body and Guida the more convincing adolescent pout, so they were typecast accordingly.The first part of the movie focuses on Guida's attempts to lose her virginity. Adolescent pout notwithstanding, Guida is not remotely believable as a naive virgin, so this part of the plot is pretty far-fetched. The class lotharia gets Guida completely naked twice, but is unable to "seal the deal", so she finally gives it up to one of her father's smooth business partners, which triggers a whole domestic melodrama involving her neglectful businessman father and her lonely, unfaithful mother. There are also allegedly hilarious subplots where the thirty-five-year "student" tries to pick up his female classmates by painting them in the nude, and where Guida's friend (Staller) apparently becomes a prostitute for older men (pretty appropriate for an actress who later worked in both hardcore porn and Italian politics). Meanwhile, the new male teacher tries to recover from the trauma after he accidentally uses Guida's panties for a handkerchief (you don't even want to know. . .).This movie is very stupid, not particularly funny, and at times downright annoying, but it certainly delivers what it promises. So if you're still reading this, I imagine you'll probably like it.

Ok, ok, ok! No one will ever tell you this is a masterpiece in cinema's history, but consider this: have you ever seen Gloria Guida? Well, she was the most wanted italian babe of the 70's and in this movie she's at her best. All the film is built around her nude body. Do the rest matter?

This is a coming-of-age story about a girl who can't decide whether she should go for her classmate or an older man (her father's business associate). The film lacks artistic interest and the dialogue is boring. The "comedy" scenes are either ridiculous or flat, and are similar to what you might find on a TV sitcom. It seemed like "Loredona" (Gloria Guida) did a lot of driving around on a moped going nowhere.