Down the Drain (1990)

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

A Masterpiece!

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

Crime caper "Down the drain" poses an immediate question : who is this movie supposed to be for ? The considerable amounts of nudity and violence seem to indicate that this is not a movie for children, but on the other hand it contains jokes and gags so slow, so flat, so addled that they are an insult to adult brains. In fact the plot as a whole makes one doubt whether "homo sapiens" is an intelligent species. Perhaps there exists a niche audience somewhere, consisting of people who think that the various "Police Academy" movies were way too difficult and sophisticated. A misbegotten farce on the bank heist theme, "Down the drain" overflows with bad writing, bad dialogue and bad acting, to the point where it becomes hard to see how it made its way past initial project phase. It is hard to see, too, how it ever made more than ten dollars - unless some kind of "The producers" trick was used, by which abyssal losses translated into a life of ease in Tahiti. ("Pour me another 'Sex on the Beach', Ted, and I'll tell you how the happiest day in my life was the day I gave a lift to Melvin B. Lipmann, the best little accountant in the States !") The main characters aren't even likeable. For instance, there's a scene where the hero and his girlfriend are caught in a gun fight. The girlfriend is hit, perhaps even fatally, while the hero runs and flees without a thought for his beloved. In your face, Romeo and Julia ! One shimmer of light in the darkness : there is a series of sequences where the blonde heroine (I'm being generous on both counts) wears a rather fetching blouse with a pattern of colourful postcards or travel labels against a black background. I like the blouse and I'm going to look for something like it on Ebay.

OK. First off this is a very rare and unheard of film. So I would like to tell you how I stumbled upon it.One night as a kid, I was just thinking what would a title to a good Rated R movie be, and "Down The Drain" first came to my mind. I then actually looked in Maltin to see if such a title exisited and it did. It was this one. Not very good rating.Anyway, throughout the years I've always thought of that moment and then just last week wondered if I could get it. It was on Netflix and decided to see it.It is a very bad movie, but it is the type of bad movie that is very refreshingly enjoyable and very funny.What it's about is this crooked lawyer who rounds up a gang of crooks to rob this vault and then turn them into another con for $20,000,000. But practically everyone in this film is so greedy and stupid, but so stupid that they can't even fail. That's what makes it funny. The things they do are so stupid, its like you'd think it won't work or its suicide and it does work out well for them.One particular funny scene is when this fat guy gets stuck in a hole and he is given a soda to drink. He is then burped and he is able to be pulled out. I mean thru/o the entire movie you keep asking yourselves, 'well what are they going to do now?' and the next scene plays out and you're thinking, 'I didn't expect them to do that.'Overall, this is an OK film. It does get tedious (and you'll be asking, 'when does it end') but it is a very decent popcorn flick, and it keeps you guessing.

And now, for the stupidest plot twist ever: A big big corrupt lawyer (who often pays jurys and judges so as to get his clients free and innocent) and a bunch of his 100% immoral clients organise a robbery. Somewhere in the middle of the film, and as they have already committed it and waiting for one of the lawyers clients who's gonna pay 20.000.000$ for the stolen goods, the lawyer learns that the loot contains a military microfilm that foreign spies wanna have! Moreover, he suddenly turns into a moral, good patriot (bluuuuurghhh!!!!!) and decides the loot should be returned to the police!!!!!!!! How is that? ANTI-AMERICANISM MESSAGES AHEAD! This film could be OK silly fun (not really, but!) for a viewing late at night in cable, as the previous reviewer similarly said. But this film is exactly the unintentionally stupid that ONLY American cinema would produce.patriotism is actually the equal of the sheep loving and caring for their shepherd.

In most respects this is a pretty dreadful film, with broad overacting (hello Andrew Stevens), appalling racial stereotyping (thanks, screenwriter Moshe Hadar), and a predictable outcome. At the same time there is something endearing about the film, a barely disguised T and A remake of The Thomas Crown Affair. At the very least the action is non-stop and indiscriminate viewers will be pulled along in the story's undertow. I can't really recommend it, but if you happen across it late one night on cable, you'll probably enjoy it.