The Watermen (2011)

Great Film overall

A Masterpiece!

A brilliant film that helped define a genre

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

THE WATERMEN is one of the most terrible of slasher films: one of those films that's completely fake from beginning to end. The awful script was written by somebody with a tin ear who just has no feel for proper, realistic dialogue; what we get instead are insults traded between a group of jerks, the kind of characters who can't die quickly enough.The storyline is predictable in the extreme and not dissimilar to the similar Icelandic flick, HARPOON. A group of annoying youths take a boat out into the water, only to find themselves subjected to sabotage. They're subsequently rescued by the crew of a fishing boat who turn out to have less than charitable intentions.The appalling Jason Mewes unfortunately plays the horrid leading character, who gets way too much screen time. He's surrounded by fat, ageing guys playing the villains and various silicon-enhanced bimbos (who spend their entire time parading around in and out of bikinis) as his associates. The gore, when it comes, is entirely lacking and the film as a whole stinks to high heaven. You have been warned.

Wow, this movie is really as bad as everyone says. In the laziest plot in the world a group of attractive young adults go on a boating trip and when the boat breaks down they get kidnapped by a bunch of redneck fishermen/pirates/whatever. Sound predictable so far? Well the cliché's don't stop there so you can probably guess what happens in the rest of the movie without me having to go into too much explanation.The most horrific thing about this movie though is the blatant misogynistic tone throughout. I know the horror genre has always had a reputation for being slightly sexist, but this movie is just unbelievable. The male protagonists spend most of their time wandering around in circles before jumping in to save the day. All the while the females get attacked, tortured, molested and raped by the bad guys. Even when guarded with weapons the three women can't take on one man because all he has to do is walk towards them and they'll simply stand there and cry. This is despite the fact that they obviously have extremely high pain thresh holds because straight after getting raped they can just run around like normal.As for the bad guys themselves, well you'll find scarier characters in an episode of Eastenders. We're supposed to believe that six young athletic adults would struggle to get away from these idiots when a herd of donkeys should be able to outsmart them with ease. The basically just look like a bunch of homeless guys in raincoats. Don't ask me where they're supposed to be from because I'm none the wiser after watching it. In some scenes they just use the stereotypical American hillbilly accent, in others they use god knows what accent and speak in broken English. Half the movie they don't seem to speak in English at all! The acting, although not great, is nowhere near as bad as you'd expect. I've seen a LOT worse in other horror movies that probably had a bigger budget than this. I was surprised to see Jason Mewes star in this. I know he's not exactly A list these days but didn't think his career had gotten this bad just yet. After seeing the whole movie though and realising what a small part he plays, it's obvious he must have been paid a significant amount to do very little and get a top billing.Any good points? Well one of the actors has a smokin body and spends most of the third act with his shirt off. Apart from that....NOPE!

I gave this film a 7 for many reasons. It is low budget, but the technical side of it is fantastic. It has very sick and depraved moments.A bunch of friends go fishing on a friends boat and end up trapped in the waters of of the Chesapeake Bay. They encounter a long lost clan of Fishermen known as the Watermen who set up mechanical failures on unsuspecting victims boats, they drug, rape them, and turn them into chum, which makes for better fishin' Does the story and plot have issues? of course it does, but the depths of depravity in which Matt Lockhart takes the clan of Watermen is nothing short of 70's exploitation grind house horror.Some of the sequences the unsuspecting boaters go through are well done in terms of their torture and circumstances. However, some of the acting by the cast can be downright cringe inducing at times.While it has its issues I think indie horror fans will enjoy it.

Awesome flick from first time director. Shooting on location in parts of his hometown. Mr. Lockhart does they area proud and any boost to the local economy is always welcome. Keep at it. Would love to see more of his work. And other reviewers who complain it is like other horror movies, are you serious. All movies are derivative of each other. Get a grip and enjoy something for once. Internet junkies who harp on other creativity need to sit back and relax. Enjoy a film for films sake. No one responds to your constant complaining. Give it a shot.Does what every horror film director should and has a cameo. Way to go Hitchcock. Love Jay Mewes would see him in anything.