Mortuary (2005)

That was an excellent one.

Excellent but underrated film

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

It is encouraging that the film ends so strongly.Otherwise, it wouldn't have been a particularly memorable film

I always feel there are two Tobe hooper's out there. The one who made TCM, Lifeforce, Toolbox murders and Poltergeist all of which are superb and the one who made Night Terrors, The mangler, Spontanious combustion and Invaders from Mars (the remake) all of which stink. So which director turned up to make this movie? Unfortunately it is the latter one. Tobe did not write this inept pile of dross and that is the only thing he has in his favour. The plot. A woman buys a funeral home but finds it is on deadly ground as something nasty is living below it. The plot of this one makes Eaten Alive seem like logical. The deadly ground is alive and produces spores that turn people into zombies like the ones in return of the living dead. Noting much happens for the first forty minutes but then we are treated to a couple of people turning into crap zombies. Then the mother who bought the place turns into one and serves up spore soup. The it is time to escape from the zombies... snore... Comment. This movie is a feeble waste of space effort. The plot is terrible, the acting is terrible and the effects are so so. There is the curse of the poor mans digital effects here as well. This is one of those movies that you think will never end. There is no nudity, and very little gore. This replaces children of the living dead and Dead of the Dead Contagium as one of the worst zombie movies ever made. 0/10

I've been watching one of my favorite horror comedies from this decade again, Tobe Hooper's MORTUARY, and have a few thoughts I'd like to share. The plot: A fatherless family moves into an abandoned, rotting funeral home in a nasty part of a small town. The recently widowed mom (Denise Crosby of PET SEMETARY and STAR TREK fame) has decided to become a mortician. She learns how to do so from a book even as she is performing her first embalming. Things predictably go wrong, and while the embalming scenes are difficult to watch, they also are very funny. Her teen son and young daughter do their best to acclimate themselves to their new surroundings, but it's tough going when a zombie appears in the daughter's closet and the son becomes a target of the local bully and his skanky gal pals. There's also a strange, apparently brain-damaged sheriff who keeps pestering the newcomers, a giggling real estate agent who puts the moves on mom, and a kindly diner owner, her daughter and her daughter's gay buddy who befriend the son. A supernatural mold is growing under the funeral home and turns everyone who comes into contact with it into zombies. Eventually, the only ones left are the two kids and the diner owner's daughter and her gay pal; everyone else has become a zombie. And these zombies are trying their best to turn the young foursome into zombies. The movie is downright creepy, sometimes depressing and sometimes very funny. At one point, zombie mom serves the four kids dinner, and Crosby is hysterical as she tosses plates on the table and serves up a soup that seems to have a life of its own. Which it does. The zombies are quite convincing, and there's a slight overtone of Lovecraft to the proceedings (a quote is used from a Lovecraft story at one point). The movie is not to be taken seriously, and unfortunately has a badly flawed ending. But it is a fun ride into hell that only the mind of Tobe Hooper could have dreamed up. You will notice the young daughter is the spitting image, no doubt intentional, of the young niece from the HALLOWEEN series. The lady who runs the diner is a familiar face from TV, and has a truly sublime moment when the town bully-turned-zombie spews nasty mold-vomit in her face and mouth. Enjoy, but do not watch MORTUARY alone, especially if you are a young female. Guaranteed to induce nightmares, no matter how ridiculous the plot gets.

What an odd little horror film, one that has stayed with me even though I have not seen it in several years. A mom and her two kids move into an old funeral home in the middle of nowhere and everything that can go wrong, does. The place is haunted and beyond repair. The first half of the movie is atmospheric and suspenseful, while the second half is a zombie spoof. Take your pick. Denise Crosby, of PET SEMETARY fame, plays the mother. I have to wonder about Tobe Hooper. The films starts off with a sense of eeriness and dread, and then becomes something else entirely, which is not necessarily a good thing. At any rate, the first half is sure to get ya. I am reminded of 1981's DEAD & BURIED, for some reason. Maybe it's the small town setting. Or the zombies.

In 1974, Tobe Hooper struck lucky with the low budget horror 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. This has lead to the director getting himself on many a list of horror fans' favourite directors - but for me, he was only ever really average and his filmography since his debut does nothing but prove that. Mortuary only serves in proving it further, as while my opinion of the film isn't quite as low as the average review; it's clear that this is a terrible movie and certainly not the work of a director with as much experience in the genre as Tobe Hooper. The basic plot sees a mother, her son and her daughter go to live in an old funeral home so the mother can take up a position as the town mortician (despite having no experience in such a job). This base leads to a whole load of other plots that spring from it. For a start, we've got the son's developing friendship with some of the locals, the story of the deformed boy who lives in the bowels of the funeral home, and also some strange fungus that attacks people and turns them into zombies...It's clear that this is not going to be any good right from the word go, but in fairness to it; the first half of the movie actually isn't all that bad. There's nothing special about it, but Hooper introduces his characters well and sets the scene for the horror. It's not long, however, before the film descends into complete messy stupidity and by then it's better to sit back and laugh at the proceedings. Hooper has got his cast all wrong here too. I don't want to sound mean, but a film like this really needs a pretty lead actress to keep concentration up, and Denise Crosby doesn't really suit that role; and also fails to put any effort into her performance. The son character is obviously meant to be cool, but Dan Byrd is too dorky to carry it off and the fact that he's so young looking doesn't give him any credibility. Child actress Stephanie Patton is not bad (the best performer of the three central ones), and Alexandra Adi is the best thing about the film. Despite all its flaws; Mortuary is at least not completely boring, there are a few amusing moments (mostly for the wrong reasons) and certain set pieces work well. But this is not the work of a 'master' and in that respect it is disappointing.