Nobel Son (2007)

Highly Overrated But Still Good

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

This is one of the worst written movies I've ever watched…and that's saying a lot. It compounds that by having one of the most annoying and intrusive soundtracks I've ever heard…and that's saying a lot. If Nobel Son had not had such a talented cast, I think I would have slit my throat before getting halfway through it.Barkley Michaelson (Bryan Greenberg) is a hapless sad sack who's working on his PhD thesis on cannibalism and trying to survive on a piddling allowance from his father. Eli Michaelson (Alan Rickman) is an insufferable a-hole who mistreats everyone around him, including his family and the women he screws on the side, and has just been awarded the Nobel Prize for Chemistry. Sarah Michaelson (Mary Steenburgen) is a forensic psychologist who…well, that's pretty much it for her. Sarah's about as generic and undefined a character as you get. The only reason she's a forensic psychologist and not a go-go dancer is that she needs to have the more impressive job to mouth a few lines of dialog that I'm sure the writers of this disaster were way too proud of.Just as the Michaelson family is about to fly to Stockholm to see Eli receive his prize, Barkley is kidnapped by Thaddeus James (Shawn Hatosy) and held for $2 million ransom. Thaddeus claims to be the spawn of one of Eli's affairs and wants revenge for Eli stealing his Nobel Prize winning idea from Thaddeus' non-biological father, who killed himself when he realized his wife had cheated on him with Eli. Even though Thaddeus kidnaps Barkley, their mutual animosity towards Eli causes them to team up and turn it into a fake kidnapping where they will split the money.Their scam succeeds, but then Thaddeus turns up to rent a room in the Michaelson's house and starts ingratiating himself with Eli, which seems to send Barkley around the bend and starts a game of cat-and-mouse where it's clear who the cat is but not always who's the mouse. Throw in a detective (Bill Pullman) with the hots for Sarah and an obviously unstable poet (Eliza Dushku) who boinks Barkely, and that's Nobel Son.I'm sure there are some dullards out there impressed with the many plot twists of this fast-moving piece of garbage. That's because they never notice the underlying story here doesn't make a lick of sense.Eli treats his wife like crap, even holding her up for public ridicule in front of all of his colleagues. In the entire film, there's only 30 seconds where these two characters show any affection or connection to each other and that happens 40 minutes into the movie. Is there any explanation for why Sarah, a smart woman with her own career, has stayed with this verbally and emotionally abusive bastard for so many years? No. Eli has nothing but contempt and disdain for Barkley, yet still very much wants him to be there when Eli gets his Nobel. Is there any explanation for that? No! When Eli gets the call about his son being kidnapped, he immediately assumes Barkley is pulling some sort of scam. That's a fairly bizarre first reaction, no matter how much ill will exists between them. Is there any explanation of why Eli would ever think Barkely could think up, let alone actually pull off, such an extreme deception? No!! The Almighty Plot Hammer needs a character to disappear to set up the film's conclusion. Is there any explanation of where she went or what happened to her? No!!! After the first 3/4ths of Nobel Son establishes Thaddeus as a violent, sociopathic genius who knows everything about everyone and crafts incredibly intricate plans, in the last 1/4th he becomes a quivering buffoon who doesn't have a clue what the hell he's doing. Is there any explanation for that transformation? NO!!! Is the audience ever given a single reason to sympathize or identify with Barkley, a limp wristed and pretentious douche who's too damn lazy to get a job so he doesn't have to live on a $35 dollar allowance from his jerk of a daddy? NOOOOOOO!!!!!Oh, and even though Nobel Son is clearly set in 2007, the entire plot is dependent on no one in the film having a cell phone. If even one character had a cell, none of the story would have worked at all.This movie is just filled with stuff that falls apart if you think about any of it for more than two seconds. Intensifying the painful suckage is this irritating techno pop music that co-writer/director Randall Miller constantly slathers over almost every scene. Watching Nobel Son is like being a quadriplegic fan of Beethoven and Bach stuck in a warehouse while a teenage rave with the worst synthesized music in the world goes on around you.This motion picture is almost as terrible as the most wretched thing to ever burst out of the mind of Michael Bay. Don't watch it.

What an amazing cast of performers with familiar past credits, Danny DeVito, Mary Steenbergen, Alan Rickman, Ted Danson, and Eliza Dushku! But put together in amazing chemistry with young men Bryan Greenberg and Shawn Hatosy.Rickman, most familiar as Professor Snape from Harry Potter, is even less lovable in this character as a Nobel Prize winning Chemistry Professor, Eli Michaelson. Steenbergen, who has played an understanding mother in 'Joan of Arcadia' is born for this role of Psychology PhD / Detective / Loving Mother and Tolerant Wife of the philandering Professor. Danny DeVito goes beyond the Comedy roles you've seen from him before to be a sad little recovering mental patient, still struggling with his OCD.Who's the biggest Psycho? Is it the Professor's son Barkley, working on a PhD in Cannibalism? Is it the scheming criminally insane Illegitimate Son Thaddeus? Or is it really the lovely Eliza Dushku playing Poet/Artist/Easy Lover named City Hall? The Plot is as twisted as the characters. But don't shy away from the early gruesomeness or you will miss a truly great Psychodrama. Or was that Psycho Drama?

The only reason I grade this movie with a 5 are Eliza Dushku's thonged buttocks in one scene. Other than that it was a complete fail on all levels. Imagine a planned con of the type you see in Ocean's Eleven, with the same silly music and the Mini Cooper cars taken from another heist movie I don't remember the name of, but all related to the dysfunctional family of a Nobel laureate. It might still be nice if it weren't for all the murders and mutilations, all done on the same silly music. And if that weren't enough, the plot has so many holes it went fractal!What were Alan Rickman and Bill Pullman (both actors that I respect a lot) doing in a piece of ... film like this? The only decent thing in this movie was the cast. Bottom line: stay away! It's so averagely bad that it doesn't even count as a movie. It's like one of those uninspired cleaning solution commercials.

I saw this movie with my husband (he tolerates my Rickmania) and part way through the movie he said, well as usual coming to a Rickman movie was worth the money. If you are tired of Hollywood formula want a few laughs and a movie you can't constantly predict this is your movie, I just hope it's still out there when you want to see it. We will probably be buying this on DVD when it becomes available. Unfortunately I don't think it will be nearly as fun to watch some of the scenes on a small screen.As usual Rickman and Devito and Pullman turn in very professional work and Steenburger is such a delight I kept wondering why don't we see more of her. The Savin's have found a nice group of actors to work with and are now with two good indie films under their belts (this one and Bottle Shock) they should be able to attract not just good actors to their films but hopefully financing.