Hudson Hawk (1991)

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

RELEASED IN 1991 and directed by Michael Lehmann, "Hudson Hawk" stars Bruce Willis as the titular expert cat burglar who has just been released from prison and intends on going straight, but he's blackmailed by the eccentric Mayflower couple (Richard E. Grant & Sandra Bernhard) into stealing works of Leonardo da Vinci for a gold-making machine that will destroy the world's economy. Danny Aiello plays Hawk's partner and Andie MacDowell his maybe babe. James Coburn is on hand as a top CIA agent.The film advertises right out of the gate that it's a goofy comedy, a parody of caper/spy flicks. The creators & cast bend over backwards to amuse the audience, but there are too few lulls to catch your breath. It's an almost constant barrage of over-the-top camp and comedy. I laughed several times, but too often I didn't. Still, it's a likable albeit curious throwaway comedy and should especially be worthwhile for fans of the cast. It cost an incredible $65 million (no doubt due to the costly globetrotting) and understandably flopped at the box office.THE MOVIE RUNS 1 hour, 40 minutes and was shot in California, New York, New Jersey, Italy, Vatican City, Hungary and London. WRITERS: Story by Bruce Willis & Robert Kraft; screenplay by Steven E. de Souza & Daniel Waters.GRADE: C

I must admit this is not one of my favorites of Bruce's. Some bits of it work which, are the excitingly dangerous bits, with some "You gotta be kidding stuff", where the rest just bore, a bad concoction of the two. The movie is just stupid, what can I say, with not the best of scripts, and Bruce's acting isn't something to brag about. He plays a cat burglar, who's just got out of the can, and no sooner is he forced into stealing something from the Vatican, where some other baddies are after what he has. The music sequence of "Would You Like To Wish On A Star", sung by dangerous duo Willis and Aiello was admittedly and undoubtedly the best thing about this misfire of a movie, left in the hands of a trio of writers, one of them being Steven De Souza, where we would expect more from the guy. If into fantasy, and you want something different, this is a fifty fifty gamble, and Willis is offered some funny lines, the one involving ".... the hat convention, truly memorable. But really this movie will only be remembered for how bad it was. Winner for worst screenplay of 1991.

Ever since my favorite summer movie season of all time, 1989, I looked more forward to the summer blockbusters than Christmas time. While I was slightly disappointed in 1990's summer slate, I thought it might be an off-year.Nope. NOPE. At the beginning of the 1991 Summer Blockbuster buffet, I went to go see the "sure thing," a Bruce Willis Comedy/Adventure/Action. He could do no wrong, right?And the funny thing was, I was a ton less critical back then than I am now in regards to movies. I absolutely hated Hudson Hawk when I left the theatres during the credits. Again, back then, I was much more forgiving; I truly felt this was just a mess and it would get better. (Note: it really didn't, but had some notable films: Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Thelma & Louise, Soapdish, The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear and City Slickers.)This movie left such a bad taste in my mouth and even made me completely dislike Danny Aiello, even if he was in better projects. Thankfully, I moved past it and vowed to never see it again. And I would've kept that promise had it not appeared on the How Did This Get Made podcast which I vowed to watch/re-watch movies they hilariously review on their show.So, 23 years later, I finally give it a second chance. I sincerely don't recall hating it back then as much as I did this time. As a matter of fact, watching it this time, the thought: "I fvcking hate this movie" kept repeating in my head.To the movie's credit, I didn't hate on it until the bumbling and so-called best of the best burglars started singing. Yes, it wasn't perfect before that, but that one scene where both Danny and Bruce sang in sync was so awful, so distasteful, I never recovered from my hatred from that moment on.Recently freed from prison Bruce, à la Hudson Hawk, does the obligatory "one final job" but only to be double crossed and must face many opposing sides, such as the CIA, the Catholic CIA, Candy Criminals, a Nun with No Sense and two flamboyantly awful characters that made me turn my head away from the screen every time they showed up. Literally, they were like the traps set in the movie series: Saw. They were so gruesome and disgusting they either belonged in Saw or in Nothing But Trouble.When this movie pretends to be a comedy, it fails. When it states it's a heist movie, it's too damn easy. When it turns into slapstick, it's out of place. When it wants to be romantic, it's like dating your sibling.Nothing works here, nothing to take from it. Leave the hawk, or shoot it down before it makes it to your place.* * * Final thoughts: I see where they were going with most of this. Sadly, it's hard not to check out long before they prove what genre they want to represent. By the movie's end, it's so lost, even the actors seem to be throwing their arms up in defeat. Thank God this bombed so no sequel or talk of a remake.

We would have been so much better off if the film had remained where it started-circa 1481 with Da Vinci trying out his flying machine.Instead, we're relegated to modern times with thief, Bruce Willis, is released from prison only to get involved with a bunch of the weirdest crooks imaginable in their attempt to steal Da Vinci items at various museums so as to achieve world domination.The picture becomes one of foolish comedy with a variety of slap-stick sketches, where Willis and co-star Andie McDowall along with Danny Aiello try to outwit the nonsensical thieves. We even have a Roman priest uttering Jewish expressions.The whole thing is just one big farce.