Mississippi River Sharks (2017)

Best movie of this year hands down!

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Not sure what others are seeing, but this move is simply pitiful. Even for the pseudo sci-fi genre, this one is a real stinker.

A traditional fishing competition/fun on the river festival is interrupted by hungry sharks coming a bit too north up the Mississippi River. The festivities are to be hosted by movie star Jason London, star of a B-movie franchise called "Shark Bite". London is actually a phony shark hunter there to pick up some quick money from the TV competition. With the sharks breaking up any fun or fishing on the river, the pompous actor is pretty useless when a group of locals try to make the marinas and river safe by killing the sharks. The CGI is about as bad as the acting. But there are fans for this type of thing.The cast also features: Cassie Steele, Miles Doleac, Kevin J. McGrath, Jeremy London and Tahj Vaughans.

Right, well we all know what we are in for when we sit down to watch a movie such as "Mississippi River Sharks". I mean, just look at the DVD cover and you already know what it is going to be like.But still, there is that little voice at the far, far back of your mind that beckons and compels you to sit down and watch it, on the slightest of hopes that this might actually turn out to be a good shark movie.It wasn't!"Mississippi River Sharks" was impeded by an overly predictable storyline, which was, in fact, so predictable that even a blind and deaf person would be able to foresee what would happen next. Yep, it was that predictable. And that meant that there were absolutely no surprises or twists or turns along the progression of the movie.The CGI effects in "Mississippi River Sharks" was downright abysmal and laughable at best. Not once did they manage to make it look realistic, and that just made it impossible to take it the least bit serious.For a movie in the killer shark genre, or whatever you classify the shark movies as, then "Mississippi River Sharks" was a very generic and mundane addition to the genre, and it offered absolutely nothing new to the genre.The cast was adequate, taking into consideration the type of movie and its budget size. You had Jason London and Jeremy London in the movie, which should be enough of an indicator of what you are in for here.If you enjoy shark movies, then I strongly suggest that you sink your jaws, wink wink, into another movie, because "Mississippi River Sharks" is really not worth the time or effort.

RELEASED TO TV IN 2017 and directed by Misty Talley, "Mississippi River Sharks" details events in Mississippi when several sharks travel up the river looking for a new food source and threaten people at a fish rodeo.Some of these TV shark-attack flicks take the serious route (e.g. 2009's "Malibu Shark Attack") while others shoot for campy amusement (e.g. 2012's "Jersey Shore Shark Attack). "Mississippi River Sharks" takes the latter approach. Thankfully, it's not all goofy; there's some serious drama thrown into the mix, like the blossoming romance between Tara (Cassie Steele) and the black dude (Tahj Vaughans), as well as issues with her dad (Miles Doleac). Jason London plays himself as the star of the fictitious B-movie franchise "Shark Bite," although he wasn't in "Shark Bite 3" (lol).The meshing of silly comedy and cartoony gore with serious drama offers a mixed experience. It's entertaining to a degree, but you can't take it serious. The presence of Cassie Steele and cutie Ashton Leigh (in the prologue & epilogue) are never milked for their potential. The movie's likable, but overlong at only about 87 minutes. The weak final act drags.THE MOVIE WAS SHOT IN Ocean Springs, Mississippi, with studio work done in New Orleans. WRITER: Marcy Holland. ADDITIONAL CAST: Dean J. West plays one of the three main protagonists while Michelle West appears as a pesky, but perky reporter.GRADE: C