Patchwork (2015)

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

PATCHWORK is another silly indie horror film which copies other, better movies. The story is about a trio of young women who are kidnapped by the usual mad scientist and subjected to the most horrific experiments. From the first scene, which openly copies RE-ANIMATOR, you know this is going to be a derivative effort and so it proves. The main source of inspiration here seems to be THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE alongside Frankenstein, of course, but it's all very dark and gloomy, obsessed with torture porn sequences and blighted by limited set design and overacting.

You will love this. It has the irreverent and gleeful bloodshed and the same joyous ignorance of science fact that makes all the classic horror comedies, like the Basket Case series, work, as well as the grind-house style "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" sensibilities. Not a laugh out loud style of horror comedy, but well loaded with chuckles and appreciative groans.Fun, and full of grue. NOT a date movie, unless your date is a fan of gallons of blood and black market medical experiments, in which case, watch away!

"Patchwork" is hands down the best Rom-com-horror film I've ever seen. It's a bloody blend of everything that's grotesque and philosophical about Shelley's Frankenstein + campy and satirically triumphant about Scream Queens.Setting a punchy tone and snappy pace for the film, the opening sequence cuts straight to the chase: cue sweet jazzy tunes, an unassuming guy in a lab coat whispering sweet nothings to his lover...and then bam — turns out he's flirting with the severed head of Marilyn Monroe's hotter sister from another mister.The creators of the film have successfully hacked apart and dissected the stereotypical comedy horror film and stitched together elements from various bodies of work across film and literature to spawn Patchwork. As such, Patchwork pioneers a subgenre of film in that it is a caricature of comedy horror shows that themselves, parody bad horror films.The basic storyline is that of a maniacal Plastic Surgeon who staples body parts from three girls (Jennifer, Ellie, and Madeline) together and brings his frankenstein creation to life with some kind of microwavable neon green potion. The Surgeon, while clearly villainous, has a very hopelessly earnest "Better Call Saul" (from Breaking Bad) way about him that makes him endearing and a character the audience can almost empathize with.The victimized protagonists (Jennifer, Ellie) are both individually flawed and also hideously outwardly flawed in their patchwork-frankenstein form: Jennifer is a remarkably miserable and boring career woman who is sleeping with her married boss. (The boss is insufferably arrogant and has kids, which makes her the unforgivable kind of home wrecker). Ellie is a vapid, self-absorbed girl whose exaggerated valley girl persona doesn't do her any favors. And combined as "Stitch," the girls are manifested in this grotesque, mutant eyesore of a being that has the combined flaws of all three women, with deplorable table manners to boot. But this film isn't just a comedy-horror, it's also a love story about a disfigured hot chick and nerdy med school student, who find each other through the physical and emotional trials and tribulations of being total freaks.The format of the film is compositionally brilliant and the dialogue is wickedly amusing. The animated intro sequence is reminiscent of Greek or Roman epic pottery with its hieroglyphic or caveman-esque rendition of the film's core themes (mutilation, gore, satire). Compositionally, the film is 8 parts with flashbacks in time, revenge narrative, and Greek-chorus moments with the three girls — all stitched together in a perfect cinematic tribute to such cultural masterpieces as Shelley's Frankenstein, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Saw.Without giving away too much more of the plot, I would also recommend this film to anyone who: 1) has recently been cheated on and wants to watch hot chicks butchering a serial cheater 2) wants to watch vapid douchebags who refuses to use the word "make" because it is too capitalist — get their skull bashed in with a metal pole. 3) wishes they could stick a knife through the brains of predatory frat guys who film women without sober consent 4) would enjoy watching Jewish guys in lab coats argue about whether eating donuts around dead bodies is sanitary and complain about how post-Reagan donuts don't have enough filling (which is, by the way, what's wrong with America.) 5) is wondering what an owl-cat looks like. 6) is a serial killer, but trying to quit cold turkey. Patchwork : serial killers :: Nicotine gum : serial smokers. Next time you feel that murderous tingle, just spin up this movie. It will visually quench your thirst for blood and de-romanticize violent crime with its hilariously blasé attitude towards homicide.

"Patchwork" immediately caught my attention with its interesting and alluring movie cover/poster. I continued on to read the synopsis, and the movie still seemed to sound interesting still.The movie starts out quite good and does prove to be quite interesting and entertaining. Well at least up until around midway or so, then the movie starts to lose its momentum and becomes somewhat of a more confusing and messy act. And it didn't really recover its former momentum and gained pacing again. And I must admit that from about halfway and to the end then my interest in the movie was fast dwindling, but I stuck with it to the end.The concept of "Patchwork" was quite interesting, and it was a nice approach on a classic Frankenstein-story. However, the movie just didn't really stand out as being memorable. This is the type of movie that you will watch once, then am unlikely to return to it and watch a second time around.I will say that the special effects in "Patchwork" was quite good, and there was some interesting make-up on the three young women whom were stitched together into one woman.Tory Stolper (playing Jennifer), Tracey Fairaway (playing Ellie) and Maria Blasucci (playing Madeleine) were doing good jobs individually and together with their given roles, and they carried the movie quite nicely."Patchwork" is listed as a horror comedy, but there is very little elements of horror to be found in the movie, so it is more of a comedy with a pinch of horror spice added to it.I must admit that I had somewhat higher hopes and expectations for "Patchwork" than what director and writer Tyler MacIntyre managed to deliver. As such, my rating of "Patchwork" ends on a very mediocre 5 out of 10 stars.