Adopting Terror (2012)

That was an excellent one.

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

What a freaking movie. So many twists and turns. Absolutely intense from start to finish.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

If you're looking for a comedy horror that is so bad it's funny, this is a great movie. One scene has the bio mom locking the bio dad in the trunk of a ... Wait for it... FIREBIRD. that's a hatchback, for those who didn't already know that... Kinda impossible to lock someone in a hatchback. Superhd makes the adoptive moms makeup look horrible, and there are a TON of spoofs accidents and the like. I thought it was great, horrible, but great. Quite a few b-lister familiar faces in here too! The plot is totally predictable and incredibly cliché, which is just another charming hilarity.Basically, a kid gets taken to cps, then adopted out, dad relocates daughter after serving time and stalks adoptive family all cliché tall dark and loomy... The cps lady feels a little suspicious, like she's coming on to the husband or something just seems... Off.. OMG she's bio mom! AND she's working WITH bio dad!! Shocking!!So many more cheesy moments, I won't spoil them all for you... And I sincerely hope I've met my ten line minimum because there really isn't enough substance in this movie to write ten lines about!

Screenplay: 3/10 Awkward. The writer just felt lost and unsure of himself. It's one of those things where he seems capable, but botched it anyway. So many things could have caused this, right down to him just being a lousy writer.Casting: 0/10 Absolutely nothing redeeming about the casting. Zero chemistry, and actors that look far too uniformly plastic. 1 or 2 model-looking actors is fine, but when everyone looks cut out of a magazine, there's absolutely nothing to relate to. Let's not mention that the pairing of actors for the couple was a joke.Cinematography: 3/10 Very by-the-books shots and zero creativity. So much opportunity here to create some redeeming quality by having some stylish framing, but nope. Nada. Nothing. 3 points for "just doing your job".Grading: 6/10 Made this a category simply because this was the one thing I thought was decent in this film. The colors had a very natural feel and didn't come across as overly-stylized, which many good movies seem to over-do. But still, points are lost, because the colors did tend to beg for something more. What we get is something a bit too vibrant and "normal", like the way you'd grade a comedy film.Directing: 1/10 Director, you alone could have saved so much of everything else's inadequacies. You were there, every step of the way, approving what was going on and guiding it along. What are you doing?! 1 point for getting the gig.Sound: 6/10 Again, just "doing your job". The mix is good and well, but nothing really stuck out. Nothing was particularly bad though.Music: 5/10 Starts off far too melodically heavy, easily to the point of feeling corny and forced. Later on, the composer seems to realize he should tone it down a bit. But the early portions of the film, especially, are a mess. That's significant, because this is when you're making your first impressions.Now, I don't know who really had the biggest hand in making this suck so much. Was it an issue with producers? Did you guys know this wasn't good at all, but just wanted to "make a movie"? Or did you really think this was good in some way?And who thought it was a good idea to give the biological father that stupid look with his hair combed back?Blah.

Maybe one of the most unfortunate things about this film was the potential for a solid thriller was there. Granted its probably not the most unique story and fairly typical in the stalker thriller concept but it still could have been entertaining. Instead, the film is one of the most amateur, slapped together, and poorly researched and directed films I have ever seen. The performances in the film aren't terrible but they certainly aren't good. However, with a horrendous script and awful directing, there is only so much an actor can do. The film opens with a scene that shocks and rivets you, and then very quickly you realize this is an amateur production by definition. There is a twist in the story but due to the poor writing you see that twist coming from a million miles with very non-subtle acting and clues.Sean Astin gives his best B-Movie performance as the new Dad trying to protect his family. He's unlikable and almost annoying in the role which is really unfortunate. He can't carry the movie. TV actress Samaire Armstrong just seems ridiculous in the film. Her and Astin have zero chemistry and seem awkward together. Monet Mazur plays their social worker with a secret past. She does alright but its definitely a TV performance that doesn't hit any home runs. Brendan Fehr probably gives the best performance in the whole movie which is good because he is the evil villain so to speak. Its truly unfortunate he didn't have a better script because his villain could have been really something. TV 80's icon Michael Gross shows up in a cameo role and comes across as completely cheesy.I literally laughed out loud when I saw co-writer, and director Micho Rutare's experience. This is the guy who co-wrote cheese-fests Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, Bigfoot and Meteor Apocalypse. There is a certain market for those cheesy disaster/monster type flicks but why would that director then go and do what should have been a serious thriller? He took no attempt at making this serious and turned it into a complete joke. Probably the worst part is how completely unbelievable the entire thing was because of a complete lack of research. There is really no reason to see this so called thriller. I didn't give it a complete zero because it was just barely tolerable but no one should ever push themselves to see this. 3/10

Adopting Terror, deserves so much more credit than it deserves, under one million dollars, I was expecting a terrible film, but instead I got a decent film with great use of locations in it. The plot is about a married couple adopt a baby (that was taken from her biological father) but suffer the consequences of the father being around for too long. It's a predictable film, because it's been done a million times, but their was a great effort put into the production. If you're a fan of B movies, I suggest this may be the one for you. I overall give it a 7/10, The Asylum have been surprising me a lot lately, it does show they truly do have some talent after-all. -Trent Browning