5 Headed Shark Attack (2017)

That was an excellent one.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

It's an amazing and heartbreaking story.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

The basic story of this movie is exactly what you expect from the title, a five-headed shark is attacking people on the coast of an island, except that there's a stupid twist that the shark is shown to have four heads throughout half of the movie until we see that its fin is a fifth head, which makes this movie even more stupid. This is a terrible movie with terrible dialog. There's one scene though that's so bad that it's good. The boat of the team trying to kill the shark is disabled and a helicopter is coming to rescue them and as it arrives, the shark jumps out of the water straight up into the air, grabs the helicopter with its jaws and pulls it into the water, which was ridiculous. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie isn't that entertaining.I know that this movie is not meant to be taken seriously, but the shark showed up way way too early and it's in the movie way too much. Every single one of the "characters" is stupid. In the beginning we see the policeman scrolling through photos on a camera and he doesn't even notice the picture of the five-headed shark at first. They're so dumb that they even visit our marine biologists to find out if multi-headed sharks can exist. Our main character, one of the marine biologists, whose friend has just been killed by the shark in front of her eyes changes her mind about not going out into the water again for no reason and decides that she wants to study the shark despite what just happened. And she just happens to know a fisherman who has advanced weapons to... I guess to kill big fish, who also happens to be her ex-boyfriend and the romance concludes as stupidly as it was set up because they decide they want to marry after killing the shark even though they only knew each other again for like one day. That guy might be the worst character in the movie. Not only is he sexist, he also says words like "yo" and "boom" all the time. The whole team is stupid. They should never have let the head of the research team on the boat again because he was responsible for the first shark attack even being possible.All of the acting is terrible. Especially the policeman has terrible line delivery, but in a movie like this it really doesn't let him stand out from the crowd because everyone is at this level.I'm surprised to say that the quality of the shots above the water is actually not that bad but the CGI destroys that only redeeming quality. The CGI water looks fake and the shark looks atrocious. The attack scenes are terrible, nothing about them looks real. When the camera is underwater you can totally tell that it's all done on a computer and the few halfway-underwater shots are somehow even worse. The opening credit sequence with the over-the-top music was stupid and abrupt. Everything is edited so awkwardly.And the shark can growl like the one in "Jaws: The Revenge"...

I've seen some reviews that give this a 10/10 or say that this is the scariest thing they have seen (scarier than "Silence of the Lambs" or "The Shining" - WTactualF?!?!?! - They must have been paid to write the rubbish!The title should give you an indication that this is not a super epic or realistic film, and on that it clearly delivers. A typical SyFy film with over the top CGI, bad acting, poor story and impossible feats of reality and nonsense. As the title suggests, a mutated aquatic predator is on the loose. It's up to the local coast guard and scientists from a Puerto Rican Aquarium to stop it before the kill count rises. Along the way you'll get the usual, and expected pointless deaths and tongue in cheek dialogue delivered in an all too camp way. A follow-up to "3 Headed Shark Attack" which won't ruin your cinema/TV movie experience if you miss it and don't bother. If you are a fan of tacky shark based films you'd probably be better looking at "Sharknado". I knew what to expect before watching this and still it failed to deliver any real enjoyment, just anther SyFy Shark film jumping on the bandwagon of an over populated shark infested water of films. I won't leave spoilers, I'll save them for the Goofs section instead because there were loads of mistakes throughout, but FTR the shark does have 5 heads, it just isn't apparent till half way through because of bad editing, or because the production team only decided to add a fifth 5th head halfway through editing FFS. 2 out of 10 and that's being generous!!

Before I begin my critique- no my appraisal of this masterpiece, let me shed some light about a serious issue. The underappreciated of genre of 'Sharkterrorism' is one that has plagued our film industry, with box office hit singles such as 'Sharknado' and 'Sharkzilla'. 5 Headed Shark Attack is the next step, a revolution, of marine organism entertainment. When I stumbled upon this movie, I thought 'Who the f*** is so sad to make a movie about 5- Headed Sharks?". But something magical spellbound me- as I spent 5 hours re watching the movie, I reached unparalleled levels of euphoria. I have ascended to a different dimension as a result of this movie- it has enlightened my lonely Single Christmas into a date (with my right hand).This movie has changed my life. Hence I would definitely recommend this.

You know this movie is going to be ridiculous before you decide watching it. It's that kind of movie that you watch just to laugh at, sort of like Sharknado. Pros: Hot girls Hilarious shark attacks Hilarious looking sharkCons: Acting is terrible CGI is bad obviously. I mean, why would anyone spend a crap ton of money making a realistic looking 5 headed shark. No connection to characters at all. They make poor attempts to try to get you to not want someone to die. Attack scenes are very drawn out. When the shark is swimming, it makes it seem like it's going super fast and close, but then the camera cuts to the people and it's somehow not even close to them.