Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1 (2013)

How sad is this?

Crappy film

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

Let me say this before I begin, I enjoyed the original film and I am not judging this as a reboot/remake. I enjoy these goofy films, I actually liked "Hobo with a shotgun" if that tells you anything, I'm not new to troma films either. Now return to nuke' em high was simply garbage! I couldn't stand to watch the entire film (I made it about half hour maybe more) it was horrible. The acting was beyond horrible even though that's to be expected with this film company but this was beyond what I expected. The original storyline is just destroyed in this half passed attempt at grabbing your cash.If I want to watch porno I will watch porno I don't need this soft-core porn mixed with farts, blood and slime. Woman on woman, man on woman (which focuses on shoving a monster which looked like a dildo up his ass), male and female masturbation, its all ridiculously portrayed in truly disgusting fashion.... I couldn't think any of this film was funny it was actually very boring. The layers of absurdity seemed to be layered soooooo thick. To be honest I don't even care to waste my time typing this review any further... Avoid this film it sucks and it's a cheap cash grab...

Tonight I saw this film. A film I was excited for. I thought Class of Nuke 'Em Hight was a fun film. And them revisiting this I thought would be really great. Right now I'm going to say it straight, I'm not going to just bullshit and say I thought this film was good. It's not good, it's horrible, it's so very bad. And people are going to say "Oh Troma films are meant to be bad" Yes I know that, but this film is offensive and again don't say "Troma films are meant to be offensive, you just got too offended" No. I know these films are meant to be that way, but this film pushed it way too far and was just horrible and disgusting.Here's why:This film does jokes that it may think itself are funny, but they are not.Farts are the one thing that was just not funny about this film. You hear one in the first five minutes, and then throughout the whole film, stupid annoying fart noises are thrown in and I'm thinking to myself "What are we ten years old?" Do the makers really think that an audience will seriously think fart noises every ten minutes or so will make the audience laugh loads? No it's just childish and stupid and was so annoying. But that is the least of the offensive things about this film.A school shooting jokeYeah that is right, the writers thought they were so funny by putting in a school shooting joke. No. Here's how the scene goes, all the students are in the cafeteria and then you hear a load of guns shooting, and one student stands up and goes "Don't worry it's just a school shooting, happens all the time! CNN don't even report them anymore" This joke was disgusting and wasn't needed and these type of jokes are never funny.Movie Theatre Shooting jokeThe gang in the film first beat up a woman, and then the leader of the gang then goes "Lets go and shoot up a movie theatre" Writers what the hell were you thinking? Why did you think it was alright to write this in? This is a horrible and disgusting joke, and another one that was not needed. I've lost a lot of respect for the writers and director over this.Race jokesThere's one scene where a character walks on scene and he's a black character. His name comes up on the screen and underneath him it says "He's black" all the other characters do actually have something written about them and the writers chose to write this. Another race joke is where it stereotypes black people and one character goes "You can't even walk about this neighbourhood in a hoody and eating skittles without getting shot" and another character replies with "You're talking about black people" No this was distasteful and unfunny.Rape JokesThere's three in this film. One where such a thing as "Duck rape" happens. A woman has a duck stabbed into her mouth, this wasn't funny and was just stupid. Another scene where a woman with a giant penis says the line "This isn't duck rape, this is dick rape" and then slaps a guy round the face with her giant dick. Yeah that happens and once again is not funny. And another scene at a party where a guy goes "Maybe if I find a girl drunk enough here, she'll sleep with me" I know this scene doesn't say the word rape in here, but it was putting that across and it was disgusting.This film is just disgusting, distasteful and tries too hard to be shocking. It's a shame when I had respect for Troma for being a great independent studio that have survived and been around for so long. I just feel that this shouldn't have been made, and this is only Volume 1. Volume 2 is out next year, set straight after the end of this. Lets just hope that isn't as disgusting and disrespectful as this!

Being apart of this masterpiece was a very fun time. This film thrived so well and everyone that was apart of it was amazing in the film. The slapstick comedy is pure and genuine and this is one of the most respectable B-movies I have ever seen. From the opening credits to the end, you will leave yourself on the edge of your seat, in tears from continuous laughter and your gut might even throb. This movie proves to show that money isn't what makes a good film, but the hard work that is put into making it is. Lloyd Kaufman's visions are always different than other filmmakers, but that's what makes him a genius. He is a true director and stays true to the way he makes movies and to what him and his fans love. Check it out, pick up a copy, and support this classic film of independent art. 10/10

Once upon a time, I enjoyed Troma movies. They used to be funny and relevant. But with the remake or sequel or whatever this is trying to be, it has become a tired and played out joke.There is no real script, just a bunch of desperate attempts at shocking . And when they aren't trying to shock you, they are trying soooo hard to prove they are still relevant and trendy. That's right Troma, has officially been taken over by a bunch of unimaginative, boring hipsters.We are living in a time when it is easier than ever for anybody to make a Troma grade horror movie. You could spend years watching bad horror films on youtube, hulu, and anywhere else. It's time for Troma to retire and just give up. They didn't even try with this one.