Battledogs (2013)

A Major Disappointment

Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

An uncontrollable situation causing panic all over Manhattan. The Lupine Virus spreads rapidly, turning innocent New Yorkers into ravenous werewolves. Not just one werewolf running amok, but an epidemic of werewolves killing people from the get go. Will the military have a real cure or just enough manpower to put up a good fight? Plenty of action, explosions, fight scenes, vicious attacks and angry violence. A monstrous virus that keeps spreading out of control. These werewolves can shift back to human form and back to killer quicker than a containment plan can be improvised. A "B" movie with bite! CGI is not perfect, but lots of fun to watch.The cast includes: Dennis Haysbert, Ernie Hudson, Kate Vernon, Bill Duke, Arianna Richards, Craig Sheffer, Darin Cooper and Wes Studi.

With decent actors and a decent script and decent CGI programmers you could make a decent movie out of it. But the problem with this movie is that the actors suck, that the writer is a Van Dyke, and that the computer generated images are made by an amateur. It was really painful to watch. I should have seen it before I started watching it that it would be a disaster. Last time I watched something that Shane Van Dyke wrote (6 Guns) I promised myself never watching something he is involved in again. But my mistake, I forgot to check it before I started watching this abomination. What a total waste of time. Avoid this movie(?) at all costs.

*Spoilers commencing immediately* I mean, in this movie, they call them "Doctors," but the Doctor is able to whip up a vaccine to the dreaded Lupo virus in under five minutes. If that's not magical, I don't know what is.Somewhere, a screenwriter is under his analyst's couch, weeping "They destroyed my script." I'm not sure we're talking about the genius who wrote "BattleDogs," because the film is a subversive piece of work that would make Andy Kaufman proud: you know, it abandons tired conventions like logic, consistency, and entertainment value to force the viewer to confront their own bourgeoisie expectations of film.Really, now, why should characters in a movie pause to ask a questions like "How did that werewolf drop from the sky into the middle of this empty airport? And shouldn't I mention that to someone?" What right does an audience have to demand the merest of nods to reality in the portrayal of a high ranking U.S. Army Officer by having the actor shave his goatee? And who made you God with your petty requirement that the director set up things by actually showing someone with a magical vial of the virus so it would be handy to turn the hero into a werewolf so he sacrifice himself to save the day? Linear cause and effect is so twentieth century.The small-minded nerve of you philistines is a sad commentary on our educational system. Really smart people would appreciate the way the cutting edge artistes behind "BattleDogs" were transgressively interrogating our tired notions of "competency" and "not quite as stupid as a stick" movie-making.On the other hand, it's possible the script was too long and had too many big words in it, so they tore out pages at random and filmed it anyway.Either way, the world is a poorer place for it.

Battledogs is movie for those who are 13 years old and up. It is also for those who like a SciFi Horrox mix. Battledogs is a different kind of werewolf story that most of us are used to. Usually, it is the moon which triggers the werewolf. In this movie, it is the heartbeat. Battledogs is a scary movie. The werewolf adds to the scariness, but the most scary part of this movie is what people in power can do with such weapons of power and knowledge. That makes it scary. We always wonder just what our Government has in it bio-warfare arsenal. I am sure that it all stays out of the press. Teens like werewolves and vamps so this is right down their alley. Bring out the popcorn in this movie. I give Battledogs 5 thumbs up.